Sunday, December 20, 2015

Government squares v. ganja, Icelandic indie rock + Jurassic Park and NBA strip club stupidity


- What better entertainment option can there be than the drummer for a relatively obscure, extremely talented Icelandic indie rock band spoofing an exceptionally profitable dinosaur-based sci-fi franchise? It’s such a natural combination that it makes a person wonder why Sigur Ros drummer Orri Páll Dýrason is the first to stumble upon it. Dýrason plans to release a movie about space, dinosaurs and dogs in late 2016, and he has cleverly titled his effort “Jurassic Bark.” The project doesn’t come as a surprise, nor does its subject matter, as “Dýrason has a history in the movie industry, having put together another dog-themed movie, “The Three Dogateers Save Christmas,” with bandmate Georg Holm, so he doesn’t seem to take his filmmaking too seriously. “Dogateers save Christmas” was released in 2014, though it wasn't until last month that the talking dog movie was confirmed as the work of the Icelandic musicians. Like all great cinematic works, it clearly warranted a sequel and after no real outcry from fans or the cinematic world, “Jurassic Bark” will be that sequel. It "follows two space dogs as they traverse galaxies and time in search of the elusive bone of enlightenment,” according to its auteurs, and one would have to expect that both the plot and the dialogue will be of the highest quality in this one. But even if those parts of the project fall below an acceptable level, at least “Jurassic Bark” should have itself an excellent soundtrack full of moody, smooth indie rock instrumentals………..


- Why do various government and law enforcement entities never learn that trying to craft a killer anti-marijuana propaganda campaign is a losing proposition? The simple fact is that government agencies and police departments are run by totally uncool, square losers who have zero chance of crafting a clever, relevant message that gets through to the kids they’re trying so desperately to keep from smoking the hippie lettuce. Someone should have to the New South Wales (Australia) Department of Premier and Cabinet (DPC) what an impossible battle it would be fighting when it tried to lock horns with ganja and prevent the next generation from getting hooked on the extremely common drug. What did the cutting-edge thinkers at the DPC come up with? How about the Stoner Sloth campaign, an ill-fated effort it launched in conjunction with the New South Wales Health Department.  "The Stoner Sloth public awareness campaign has been designed to encourage positive behaviors in young people before bad habits start, and motivate discontinued use of cannabis before they become dependent," a DPC spokesman said. The message is simple. If kids don’t ditch the blunt, they’re going to end up like a sloth dressed as a human being, falling behind in school and life in general because it just doesn’t have the drive to be successful in life. The campaign is built on the tag line, “You’re worse on a weed,” which is just so lame, so clichéd and so trite that it’s laughable - literally. The government went so far as to craft GIFs, a Facebook page, a tumblr page and videos for the campaign, but the response to sloth characters named Delilah, Jason and Dave hasn’t been very positive. Social media users have openly wondered whether the campaign is legit or some sort of joke, which is probably not a good first response to what’s supposed to be a hard-lien stance on a serious issue……….


- While the Milwaukee Bucks may have lost to the 4-21 Los Angeles Lakers to kick off a road trip this week, never let it be said that they didn’t have a good time while in SoCal. Now 10-18 after a loss to Golden State on Friday, the Bucks came to California riding a high from beating the previously undefeated Warriors at home last week and it seems that at least a few Bucks wanted to spread the love once their plane touched down in the sunny Cali. That would be O.J. Mayo, Greg Monroe, Miles Plumlee and Khris Middleton, i.e. the stars of a video leaked online in which the players are seen partying it up at a strip club in L.A. until about 2 a.m. the morning before their game against the Lakers. In the video, the players look exactly like you’d expect rich, privileged professional athletes throwing money around and acting a-fool at a strip club to look, which wouldn’t be such a bad look if not for the fact that they went out and got their asses kicked by 18 points against the second-worst team in the NBA about 17 hours later. Oh, and Monroe was scratched from the game due to a “sore left knee” that was not previously disclosed while Mayo served up a beastly nine points on 3-of-11 shooting, Middleton scored 16 and was 6-of-16 from the field and Plumlee was the lone member of the party party to man up, scoring 10 points and grabbing eight rebounds in 24 minutes. Head coach Jason Kidd was reportedly livid about the video and his players seeming to put personal pleasure ahead of professional production, a dynamic that could explain much about why the Bucks are among the Association’s most disappointing teams………


- Have you ever taken a step back, considered the amount of pervy filth pervading every corner of the Internet and wondered who the hell is responsible for the piles of porn that are available with a simple Google search? After all, someone has to post all of the creepy, deviant images and videos that show pretty much any manner of freakery you can ask for and while some of it is generated by lowbrow adult film companies, that doesn’t explain everything available online. No, you need people like now-former Montgomery County (Maryland) district court commissioner Israel Mangroo. Besides sounding like a “Rocky and Bullwinkle” animated villain, Mangroo is also (allegedly) a sick freak who has been charged with using his cellphone to take a picture up a woman's skirt and worse still, doing it on the job. Mr. Mangroo has been charged with visual surveillance with prurient intent and misconduct in office after, according to prosecutors, asking a female employee to visit his office to look at something on his computer and using the opportunity to snap an upskirt photo of her while she was supposed to be distracted. Sadly, Mangro is not nearly as smooth and covert as he thinks himself to be and the victim says she saw a flash or shutter movement from the phone. A court commissioner reviews charging documents when a person is arrested and sets pre-trial release, so Mangroo should have a great idea of what’s going to happen to him next. He has plenty of time to ponder just how much of a scumbag he is now that he’s been fired and has five weeks until his trial begins. The thought process of this ass hat as he tried to position his victim in the perfect spot with good lighting while avoiding raising suspicion about what he was up to with his phone in his hand and his camera app open should make for a great tale for prosecutors to share with the court, even if everyone involved is going to feel like they need about five hot showers afterward to cleanse the disgusting residue from their lives………

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