- Suing
people for insane things that should in no way be decided in a courtroom seems
like an American thing, but tort abuse is truly a global phenomenon these days.
It’s even prevalent on the open seas when two men are trying to survive a
shipwreck and subsist for months on end while lost at sea. That’s probably news
to Salvador Alvarenga, a castaway who survived 15
months at sea and is being welcomed back to civilization with a $1 million
lawsuit by the family of his dead friend after claims he stayed alive by eating
him. Alvarenga washed ashore in January last year on the Pacific’s Marshall
Islands after spending 438 days adrift, drifting an estimated 6,700 miles from
the coast of Mexico, where the boat he and crewmate Ezequiel Cordoba were
sailing in was crippled by a storm. The El Salvadorian native later related his
story of staying alive by drinking urine and turtle blood and eating fish and
birds he caught by hand. Oh, and there was that pesky detail that after Cordoba
starved to death early on, Alvarenga left the rotting body at the boat's bow
for six days for company. According to Alvarenga, he eventually threw the body
overboard, but Cordoba’s family believes otherwise. They are demanding $1
million compensation after claiming he was a victim of cannibalism, a charge
that Alvarenga's lawyer, Ricardo Cucalon, denied. Cucalon claimed the suit is
tied to the publication of the long-awaited book about Alvarenga's ordeal,
which came out several days ago. “I believe that this demand is part of the
pressure from this family to divide the proceeds of royalties,” Cucalon said. “Many
believe the book is making my client a rich man, but what he will earn is much
less than people think.” At the time of the ill-fated trip, Alvarenga was working
in a fishing village on the Pacific coast of Mexico's southern Chiapas state,
setting out on a voyage that would forever change his existence……..
- Shut
your mouth immediately, you fat, out-of-touch human tortoise with the charisma
of a soggy ramen noddle. In other words, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell
needs to stop talking. Unless he’s actually bothering to do his job, which he
has failed to do in 31 long years working in the Senate, then this human turtle
need not be moving his lips and especially he should not be dishing out general
managerial advice to the Washington Nationals on how to improve upon their
disappointing 83-win season. McConnell, in between f*cking over 9/11 first
responders and refusing to pass necessary bills for the functioning of the
country he claims to love, is a big-time Nationals fan and he has some deep
though on how to deal with locker room headaches like Jonathan Papelbon, whose
most productive moment of 2015 came when he clashed with teammate and National
League MVP Bryce Harper in the dugout during a game, trying to choke the young
star with his bare hands. "First of all, they need to get rid of
Papelbon," McConnell said. "Getting in fights with the most valuable
player in the National League strikes me as not a team-building exercise."
Hey Bitch, er, Mitch….do you know what else isn’t a team-building exercise? You
stonewalling on extending and funding the Zydroga Act, a bill to provide health
care to seriously ill first responders who contracted various ailments while
dealing with the fallout from the 9/11 terrorist attacks. So how about you drag
your fat, wrinkly old ass back to the Senate floor and take care of business
before you try to Monday morning armchair quarterback for Nationals general
manager Mike Rizzo………
- It’s
nice to see tweakers and junkies finding new ways to colossally f*ck up their
lives. There are literally thousands of time-tested and proven methods of going
from free man with the opportunity to do with your life what you wish to an
incarcerated person whose lunches are served on a plastic tray and followed by
one hour of yard time for the day, but finding ways to innovate is always
appreciated. Vero Beach, Fla. resident Patrick Rempe has that spirit of a true
original and it’s the precise reason why he will soon get to spend some quality
time with his friends currently locked up at the local jail in Indian River County. According to sheriff’s office
spokesman Eric Flowers, Remple crashed his car into the Florida jail in order
to visit some friends, ramming the jail's front doors early in the morning, nearly
hitting a deputy. His initial plan failed, but this tool had a plan B and he
executed it by attempting to climb a fence, where he became entangled in razor
wire. Razor wire is an especially nasty creation designed to tear into a person’s
flesh, but how much pain Remple felt is unclear because Flowers said Rempe had
taken the designer drug flakka, a synthetic drug known to cause hallucinations,
paranoia and behavioral changes. Not everyone is down with flakka, but clearly
the cool kids are and after he came down a bit from his high, Rempe told
deputies he just wanted to visit friends who were in the jail. After being booked
and jailed on multiple charges, he got precisely what he wanted, albeit without
his favorite new designer drug………..
-
Terrorist attacks are horrible, awful and indefensible occurrences that should
be averted at all costs. Many of those same qualities are true of your average
Nelly show, minus the death and carnage. That’s why it’s not bad news that the
extremely subpar rapper has reportedly canceled his
upcoming United Kingdom tour due to fears over possible terror attacks. No, it’s
not the 1990s any more and Nelly shouldn’t still be a thing, but he was scheduled
to perform in London, Glasgow, Birmingham, Manchester and Bristol this week,
something that apparently won't be happening any time soon. A statement from
Manchester's O2 Ritz venue, where he was expected to perform on December 17, confirmed
that the show would be rescheduled. "Due to unforeseen circumstances,
Nelly has been forced to postpone his UK tour. Customers are advised to hold on
to their tickets as rescheduled dates will be announced shortly & tickets
will remain valid for the new shows,” the statement said. “We apologize for any
disappointment & inconvenience caused." That’s a very cryptic
statement, but the story behind the story is that the plug was pulled due to
safety concerts, with a spokesman for Nelly claiming there were safety concerns relating to venue security preventing
terrorist attacks. Yes, because a sparsely attended show from a past-his-prime
American rapper touring the U.K. is the prime target for extremist groups. No
offense to Nelly because he seems like a solid dude and all, but odds are that
ISIS and their ilk are at least waiting for a Wiz Khalifa or Odd Future gig in
order to make their mark……..
No comments:
Post a Comment