- In
this corner, Spanish-born, U.S.-based pop singer Enrique
Iglesias, an object of desire for women the whole world ‘round. In the opposite
corner, fighting mad and looking to wield his executive power against the
forces of evil and seduction contained in Iglesias’ songs and hips, is Sri
Lankan President Maithripala Sirisena. The man in charge of the tiny island
nation is enraged in the wake of a few of his nation’s ladies removing their
bras and hurling them at Iglesias during his recent concert in the country. The
gig was in support of Iglesias’ 10th album “Sex and Love,” so maybe the powers
that be should have surmised that there would be some heavy sexual overtones
involved. Hell, Iglesias’ entire act is based very little on talent of good
music and heavily on his sex appeal, so this was all but guaranteed to happen.
Yet after video surfaced of the undergarment tossing, Sirisena called the
bra-throwing "uncivilized behavior that goes against our culture" and
then took it a step further by suggesting that the concert’s promoters should
be "beaten with poisonous stingray tails.” Dude, if you’re bringing deadly
stingray tails into the mix, ish just got real. In conclusion, Sirisena said "these
indecent concerts should never receive authorization again in Sri Lanka” and
ripped the expensive ticket prices for the shoe as well. He’s actually right
about the tickets, which cost between 5,000 and 50,000 rupees (about $70 to
$700). Those ducat costs are the true outrage and yet in a statement after the
show, all promoters addressed was the gates for the concert opening later than
expected an inconveniencing many fans. Just a farce all around on this one………
- Condoms
are meant to prevent unwanted population growth. Condom machines themselves
generally don’t play such a final role in the process. A machine minding its
own business in the German town of Schoeppingen,
near the Dutch border, was forced to play a much bigger part than it was ever
intended to play over the weekend when a trio of ass hats decided that the best
way to kick off their weekend was to rob said condom machine. It’s unclear
whether the machine’s product supply or its cash supply was the primary target,
but what is clear is that a man died after he and two others blew the machine,
sending debris flying in all directions. The suspect who died was hit in the
head by a flying piece of metal because all three men apparently got into a car
after triggering the explosion, but this dimwit didn't close his door and was
hit by debris when the machine exploded. Yes, killed by condom machine
shrapnel. What a way to go out, in a hail of shrapnel, cash and condom packets.
Police who were called to the scene found the money and rubbers lying on the
ground apparently untouched after the two suspects who survived brought their
friend to a hospital. These geniuses came up with quite a story, telling
emergency personnel that he had fallen down stairs. That story quickly
unraveled and one of the men later admitted the victim's injuries were related
to the explosion. The good news is that while condoms are never foolproof and
therefore the victim could have still become a father, the finality of this
situation permanently removes this moron from the gene pool. Problem solved………
- If
the Miami Dolphins were as good at football as cornerback Brent Grimes’ wife
Miko is at running her mouth, the New England Patriots wouldn’t be the AFC East
champions this season. Miko Grimes draws more attention than her husband ever
will based on his play on the field and in the past, she has proven why social
media is a loaded gun capable of serious self-inflicted damage by ranting about
topics such as her husband not winning MVP honors at the Pro Bowl, how the Atlanta
Falcons mistreated him, what she perceives as greed and sexism by the NFL and
even the New England Patriots for releasing defensive tackle Vince Wilfork. In
fact, Miko Grimes - a woman who has no real reason to be any sort of
semi-famous figure - is such a loudmouth that she has her own local radio show.
Oh, and there was that time she was arrested on charges of battery on a police
officer, resisting arrest and disorderly conduct outside of Sun Life Stadium
before a Bills-Dolphins game. Those charges were eventually dropped, just like
the nuke she dropped this week on Dolphins quarterback Ryan Tannehill. Miko
Grimes has targeted Tannehill before and to be fair, dude is a popular object
of scorn based on his six-year, $96 million contract and 28-35 record as a
starter. Still, it took Miko Grimes about five seconds to go off on Tannehill
after the Dolphins lost 18-12 to the Colts on Sunday. Prior to making her
Twitter account private, she wrote, "I knew this qb stunk the minute we
signed to this team but I tried to keep quiet so I didn't discourage bae from
believing in his team.” Aww, how sweet. Look at the narcissist with rage issues
and no self-control wanting to prop up the apparently feeble self-confidence of
her millionaire, professional athlete husband……….
- Everyone
needs a second chance…and a third….and a fourth….and a fifth, sixth and
seventh. That’s where would-be New York City firefighter Wendy Tapia comes in. Tapia badly wants to be a
firefighter, so much so that she has taken the test six times and keeps coming
back for more even though it’s pretty clear she doesn’t have what it takes to
be a first responder. She was allowed to conditionally graduate from the Fire
Academy on May 17, 2013, despite being unable to run 1.5 miles in 12 minutes or
less because she used the excuse that a foot injury slowed her down. Either
than is one nagging foot injury or this lady was lying because she’s been
unsuccessful in five additional attempts despite the department’s magnanimous
attitude in giving her try after try after try. Following her sixth failed
attempt, in November 2013, Tapia resigned and returned to EMS never having
worked a full-fledged shift, but she clearly never gave up on that dream of
getting in shape/not being slow as hell and will now receive a seventh
opportunity to become a full-fledged member of the department. She applied
again and is among a group of EMTs promoted to probationary firefighters. Her group
started an 18-week training academy Monday and you won't believe this, but some
within the department believe Tapia will be allowed to pass the running test by
FDNY brass because officials fear a
gender discrimination lawsuit. Rubber stamping someone for a job they’re in no
way qualified for simply to avoid a lawsuit and placate a person in denial about
their own shortcomings? Bureaucratic organizations never, ever, ever do that
sort of thing. "All who enter the academy must meet the same requirements
in order to graduate," FDNY spokesman Jim Long said in trying to diffuse a
potentially ugly situation………
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