- You’re
welcome, United Kingdom. Global warming takes a lot of heat (pun intended) and
a lot of hate around the world, but if not for rising temperatures threatening
the future of the world, then would the British be enjoying an unusually balmy
December that is turning the holiday season into an extension of the ever-mild
summer season in the British Isles? With Christmas but a week away, unexpectedly
mild temperatures are causing some daffodils to bloom and some ice rinks to
suspend operations because it’s damn difficult to keep the rink from melting
when weekend forecasts call for temperatures to approach 16 degrees (60 degrees
Fahrenheit). A wise person would appreciate a scene in which Christmas lights
and decorations are cast against a backdrop of balmy temperatures worthy of
shorts and t-shirts, but not everyone is a fan of Met Office forecasters saying
temperatures are expected to continue to be "exceptionally mild" in
most of Britain. These haters point to the fact that the mild weather is
causing problems for ski areas in Scotland and for the popular ice skating
rinks in southern England and Wales including snotty British whiner and former
competitive skater Alan Abretti, director of Cousins Entertainment, who’s
really unhappy that the warm weather has put skating rinks on ice for now. "We've
all been affected," Abretti said. "It doesn't feel like
Christmas." And the problem with that is? Maybe what Christmas “feels”
like needs to be reinvented and maybe drab, cloudy skies with 60-degree weather
instead of drab, cloudy skies with 25-degree weather is how the holidays should
be in Britain………
- Gangsta
rappers are a lot less gangsta than they used to be. Gone are the days of
drive-by shootings, gang-banging badasses and dudes who would (allegedly) dangle
you over the edge of a hotel balcony because you pissed them off and we are now
in the area where clamping down on someone’s boobs like you’re a hungry infant
seeking his next meal passes for being tough. Step on up, Azealia Banks, and
take your very limited amount of credit for being arrested in New York City for
allegedly punching a female security guard outside a nightclub and "biting
her in the boob.” According to police, Banks has been charged with a
misdemeanor of third-degree assault following the incident in which she was
reportedly screaming loudly and cursing at club security after getting the boot
from an invitation-only party. In the melee, Banks is accused of spitting in a
female bouncer's face and biting her on the breast to the point of almost
biting through the shirt and "causing swelling and redness.” Like a
good public figure with an agent and a spokesperson and who is accused of a
crime, Banks has not yet commented on the allegations, but it definitely fits
her modus operandi. She is also under investigation by the Los Angeles Police Department
over an alleged fight with nightclub security staff during October, an incident
in which she is accused of trying to set off the fire alarm at the Break Room
86 club after security asked her to vacate
the premises due to what they deemed unruly behavior. If an A-list musician is
getting kicked out of a club for acting a fool, then assume he or she is doing
the sort of sh*t that would get most of us a lifetime ban from any
establishment……….
- When
we move, many of us end up losing items along the way because the boxes or
containers they’re in are mislabeled, misplaced or simply disappear in the sort
of freak occurrence that not even Neil de Grasse Tyson can explain? Ordinarily
it’s not a problem, but most of the time it’s a mixing bowl or a plastic file
tray that goes missing, not $5 million in diamonds. When a seven-figure diamond
stash goes AWOL from a Midtown jewelry store in an average Manhattan fall day,
that’s a horse of a different color. The situation cast a skeptical light on a
lot of people who had opportunity to steal the stones, but the actual story of
what happened was much less exciting and much more IQ-deprived. Carless workers
at J. Birnbach Inc. who were helping their boss move to another floor turned
out to be the primary culprits after they threw three weathered wooden boxes
filled with diamonds in a heap of trash without bothering to look inside.
Police found that the workers made the mistake, after which a building security
guard patrolling the third floor allegedly did take a look inside the boxes and
found an valuable job perk wating to be claimed. According to the long arm of
the law, Wilfred Martinez sold some of the diamonds to a jeweler in the same
building where he found them, but not the 17-carat diamond that was the $3.2
million crown jewel of the collection. Diamonds are supposed to be marked and
trackable, right? How did Martinez and this other jeweler think this would turn
out? Either both are extremely shady or simply very stupid, but the security
guard eventually turned over the $3.2 million diamond, along with two smaller
diamonds and $10,000 in cash………..
- On
her last day of quasi-relevance, U.S. women's national team star Abby Wambach decided
to use the last gasp of her limited fame as a top player in a sport the
majority of Americans still don’t give a damn about to fire a shot across the
bow of U.S. men’s national team Jurgen Klinsmann. Klinsmann, the embattled
coach who achieved some initial success with the USMNT before seeing the team
crash and burn in recent matches, has been under fire by many outside the team
for losses to Jamaica, Mexico and the like, and it seems that Wambach - on the
eve of her retirement from the women’s national team - agrees with the haters.
She called for Klinsmann’s firing and lit up the German national for bringing
in "a bunch of these foreign guys." Wambach is the top scorer
regardless of gender in international soccer history and said that not only
should U.S. soccer be much more jingoistic, but there are "too many egos
in our men's program." Perhaps she was buoyed by leading the U.S. women to
World Cup victory this past summer, perhaps it was the emotion of her final
USWNT match in a friendly against China (a 1-0 loss, by the way) or maybe
Wambach has friends on the men’s team who don’t like Klinsmann, but there
doesn’t seem to be much to gain for her from taking a run at someone who
doesn’t even coach her. Yes, she’s won two Olympic gold medals and the 2012
FIFA Women's Player of the Year, but why the hell is she trying to take food
off anyone else’s table? "I would definitely fire Jurgen [Klinsmann].
Sorry Sunil [Gulati], sorry, U.S. soccer, but I don't think Jurgen
and this litmus test on him has worked,” Wambach said. She singled out Jermaine
Jones and Fabian Johnson as two examples of USMNT players who haven’t quite
worked out on Klinsmann’s watch, but Gulati refused to comment on what Wambach
had to say and went back to running one of the most mediocre men’s soccer
programs in the world………
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