- Fox 10 weatherman Cory McCloskey went YouTube hero in a hurry this
week and because of it, the world outside the borders of tiny Wickenburg,
Arizona knows his name. McCloskey, operating in a world where excessive hair
jail, ridiculous TV names like Johnny Mountain and Stormy Rains rule and you
can be wrong 50 percent of the time and still keep your job, had himself quite
a day when he took to the green screen to deliver his nightly forecast. Most of
the temperatures on the map were as they should be, but several appeared to be
a smidge too high and indicated that a few towns were coping with mercury
readings in the four-digit range. Realizing what was going on and reacting
quickly, McCloskey rolled with the mistake and proceeded to deliver some
classic one-linters that began with him urging viewers in the affected areas
that, “Again, I’m not your dad, but I would get out while you still can.” When
the map showed a current temperature of 2,960 degrees in Cave Creek, the
weatherman calmly delivered the dire prognosis for the town. “Yeah, Cave Creek,
Fountain Hills, they don’t look good either. And frankly, Wickenburg is a
total loss,” McCloskey quipped. He added that steel typically boils around that
temperature and noted that there might be little left for any Cave Creek
residents watching the broadcast to do. Rather than go Bill O’Reilly and scream
down whoever was responsible for the mistake – and even people who weren't –
this reaction puts McCloskey on top of the mountain when it comes to local
weathermen. Give this dude a major network gig and see if Al Roker needs any
help with the every-two-minutes forecasts he dishes out during the “Today” show
each weekday morning………
- Everyone deals with losing differently. Some players are
incredibly angry and take their frustrations out on inanimate objects or in
snarky remarks directed at those around them. Others withdraw and don’t want to
talk to anyone for a while, preferring to sulk and wallow in their misery. Then
there’s a pair of Bradley basketball players who were busted Wednesday night for using
fake IDs at a strip club following the team's 69-57 loss to Drake. It was a
tough defeat for the Braves, one that left leading scorer Warren Jones and
teammate Ka'Darryl Bell in a bad place that could only be offset with the
addition of skanks taking their clothes off for skeevy strangers who would
stuff money into their G-strings. That wouldn’t have been a problem for anyone
other than their girlfriends if not for the fact that both players are just 20
years old, making them too young to legally enter a bar or strip club. Jones
and Bell countered that obstacle by doing what virtually every college kid does
at some point during their first three years on campus until they turn 21,
pulling out fake ID’s to earn entry into Big Al's in downtown Peoria. Sadly,
their fake driver’s licenses weren’t good enough to go through the inspection
process undetected and as a result, both men were arrested in the wee hours of
the morning for obstruction of identification and criminal trespass. These
criminal masterminds were booked into Peoria County Jail at 5:07 a.m. and was
released at 6:33 a.m. after posting bond. It had to be a great way for head
coach Geno Ford to start the day, waking up to this news. “These
student-athletes have not represented Bradley University and our community
appropriately and their actions, especially immediately following a poor
performance on the court, are unacceptable,” Ford said. Next time, guys, just
have a friend buy you some cheap beer or low-end liquor and drink your sorrows
away at home……..
- Greece definitely has a chip on its shoulder. Even though
the Mediterranean nation has borrowed a sh*t-load of money from its fellow
European Union nations to stay afloat financially in recent years, Greece’s
government isn't exactly in a submissive mood when it comes to how it should
handle its fiscal health going forward and is openly clashing with its European bailout
creditors. The dispute went über-public on Friday when Germany vehemently
rejected suggestions the heavily-indebted country should be forgiven part of
its rescue loans. German Finance Minister Wolfgang Schaeuble denounced what he
terms "blackmail" from Athens
after Greece's five-day-old radical left government said it will honor
pre-election promises to seek a cut on most of the country's rescue debt and
scrap painful budget measures that were demanded in exchange for the loans. You
can see where the debtor nations might be pissy with a new regime sweeping into
power and basically telling everyone their country borrowed money from, “Eff
you, but we’ll be handling this however the hell we want.” In response and as
ever the true German, Schaeuble insisted that rules need to be kept, and trust
and reliability were the basis for further solidarity. "There's no arguing
with us about this, and what's more we are difficult to blackmail,"
Schaeuble said. "We are prepared to offer all cooperation and solidarity.”
That holds true, the minister noted, only if Greece abides by its agreements,
under which it received 240 billion euros ($270 billion) in rescue loans. Sans
those loans and significant assistance from the International Monetary Fund,
Greece would struggle to pay its debts and avoid capsizing financially. The
ruins that tourists flock to the country to visit might become every building
in the country within a few years if the government manages to f*ck this one up……..
- Does Limp Bizkit guitarist Wes Borland realize that he is,
was and always will be Limp Bizkit
guitarist Wes Borland? Probably not, at least not based on his unflattering
description of fans who will come see his band play on the upcoming ShipRocked
Cruise. The cruise will take place from Feb. 2-6 and will feature the
never-were sensations of the Bizkit alongside Andrew WK, P.O.D. and Black Label Society,
all rocking out live and largely deprived of actual musical talent – at least
outside of P.O.D. The fact that anyone cared enough to check whether Fred Durst
and Limp Bizkit still existed and make the effort to invite them to play should
have been enough to cause every member of the band to do a victory lap around
their mobile home and high five the meth dealers living on either side of their
home on wheels, but Borland didn’t get the memo. Instead, he labeled those for
whom he was about to play a bunch of “‘roided-out, tribal-tattooed, spray-tanned
Jell-O shot filled bohunks.” And your point is what, Wesley? That has always
been your target demographic. Did you think high-class music lovers in tuxedos
were rocking out to “Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water?” When
you write the musical equivalent of what ends up in the diaper of a 2-year-old
with explosive diaherrea, you can't really be picky about who listens to you.
Borland made his declaration in an Instagram post with the caption stating that
tourists
on the boat will be doing "their best drunk MMA impressions in the top
deck mosh pit." According to the mediocre axe man, when the band isn't
playing, he’ll be looking for a good hiding spot. "Whenever we aren't on
stage, I'll be curled up fetal position in my cabin,” Borland said. “It's the
same as Brochella but it's off land. Can't wait to see me some roided out
tribal tattooed spray tanned Jell-O shot filled bohunks do their best drunk MMA
impressions in the top deck mosh pit.” It’s just a thought, Wesley, but if
those are the types you’ll be surrounded by, maybe you don’t want to antagonize
them before boarding. Either that or you should have been smart enough to stay
out of the band when you quit in 2001………..
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