Tuesday, January 20, 2015

A weatherman gets 50 Cent-ed, punk rock concert on-stage coitus and beauty queen diplomacy


- He’s done the acting thing, he’s checked out life with another mixed martial arts promotion and now, Quinton "Rampage" Jackson is coming back to the UFC. Jackson, a former champion who also starred in the horrible 2010 remake of “The A-Team,” has not fought in the UFC since January 2013. He’s now set to return to the octagon in April to face Fabio Maldonado at a UFC 186 pay-per-view event April 25 in Montreal. UFC president Dana White announced the matchup Saturday, one day before a major UFC event at TD Garden in  Boston. The news comes less than a month after the UFC announced it had re-signed Jackson, who said he terminated his Bellator deal due to breach of contract. The April fight won't be the first one on Jackson’s plate, as Bellator president Scott Coker claimed Jackson is still under contract and the company would "protect [its] contractual rights." No one has seen Jackson in an actual sanctioned bout since a unanimous decision win against Muhammed Lawal in May and when he comes back the UFC, he will do so with a three-fight losing streak. At age 36, he’s battling both time and age, but his opponent won't be an easy one. The Brazilian is 4-1 in his past five fights and should pose a much tougher test than the ridiculous conga line of bad guys Jackson took down as B.A. Baracus in his A-Team stint. He becomes the next in a growing line of big names UFC officials have inked in recent weeks, along with former WWE champion CM Punk………..


- What the hell, world? There aren't enough things worth getting upset about, so now you’re getting pissy about selfies taken by beauty pageant contestants? Sure enough, thanks to a potent blend of social media and total lack of perspective and intelligence, there is an international uproar over a good-spirited selfie taken at the Miss Universe pageant by Miss Lebanon, Saly Greige. Greige is taking serious heat for being so bold and forthright as to snap a lame selfie with Miss Israel, Doron Matalon, along with two other girls. Matalon then posted the snapshot on her Facebook profile, setting up Lebanese television station Al Jadeed for a surefire kill shot. The network didn’t whiff on its golden chance, posting a wise crack that since one of Matalon’s hobbies is reading, she should have read that Lebanon and Israel are enemies. Oh, so clever, Al Jadeed ass hats. Because clearly, everyone from Lebanon has to automatically hate everyone from Israel before they even know them. Great way to make the world a better place, d-bags. Greige explained the situation on her Facebook page, saying she had been trying to avoid communicating with and taking a photo with Matalon, but as always happens when a self-absorbed person is taking a selfie to post in order to get compliments or let the world know how awesome their life is, Matalon jumped into the photo. Greige wrote that she "was having a photo with Miss Japan, Miss Slovenia and myself; suddenly Miss Israel jumped in, took a selfie, and put it on her social media." Matalon handled the situation with aplomb and re-posted the photo Sunday, saying the situation "doesn't surprise me but it still makes me sad." Miss Israel added that she wished "hostility" could be forgotten for the three-week duration of the competition so that "we can meet girls from around the world and also from the neighboring country." Right, because the only way to bring the world peace that beauty queens are always looking to bestow upon the world is to start with those around you…………..


- Now THAT is punk rock. Dead Kennedys are an iconic, veteran punk band that has been churning out anti-establishment tracks and albums for years and what happened during a show late last week in Solana Beach, Fla. gave a giant middle finger to The Man in a way that no lyrics ever could. The incident in question happened during a show at Belly Up Tavern and at one point in the show, an amorous couple ended up making their way onto the stage. They weren't there looking to meet the band, stage dive or hold up a sign promoting a cause or product. No, their motives were far simpler. Simply put, these two wanted some very public coitus. In a photo from the show, the woman can be seen fully exposed and lying down on the stage. Witnesses saw the man perform oral sex on the woman in plain sight of the whole crowd, with many fans holding up their smartphones to snap pictures and videos of the act. According to those in the vicinity of the stage, most fans gawked for a moment but returned to watching the show as the band simply played on. What happened from there depends upon who you ask. The bar would have you believe that security did throw the frisky couple out immediately. "Of course, we don't condone this activity in our establishment and security stopped it right away. This is certainly a first for us,” the bar said in a statement. As for possible issues with the law, the city’s code stipulates that “any person who exposes his or herself in a public place can face a misdemeanor if others are offended or annoyed.” The sheriff’s department said no complaints have been filed so far, but there could also be violations of the local business and professions code. Here’s a big tip of the cap to Dead Kennedys for creating a safe, welcoming space where fans can mosh, thrash, smoke ganja, get drunk and get some all in the same location. Few bands have that in their skill set……….


- Television weathermen are typically knobs.  They have absurd fake names like Johnny Mountain or Storm Rains, they get to be wrong 75 percent of the time and keep their jobs and their hair has more product on it than a Mary Kay convention. But there are anomalies in every group and a Texas meteorologist who was shot last month outside the Waco area TV station where he works is that exception. Patrick Crawford got 50 Cent-ed on Dec. 17 as he was starting to drive home from the station. Authorities still haven't located the shooter, which has to be a comforting thought for all of the other television and radio meteorologists in the greater Waco area, but if they’re following Crawford’s example, then they aren't backing down an inch. This barometer-reading badass showed up on the air Monday morning to present the morning forecast for his station, KCEN. He had the full support of his co-workers, as KCEN's on-air and control room staff wore T-shirts bearing the Superman logo on the front and the words "Crawford Strong" on the back. Never mind that the “__________ (FILL IN THE BLANK) Strong” ship sailed so long ago that Moses himself may actually have been on board, because the real inspiration came when Crawford himself took center stage. Clad in his normal on-air attire, he opened his button-down shirt to reveal his own Superman T-shirt in a true/truly staged moment. Of course, anyone who is shot three times and spends several days in the hospital fighting for their life gets some leeway……….

No comments: