Monday, January 05, 2015

Sex toy/bong/machete battles, movie news and NHL travel hijinks


- For the third weekend in a row, “The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies” was too tough to tame. Despite a 46.5-percent decline in earnings from last weekend, the CGI-heavy blockbuster banked $21.9 million and has amassed $220.7 million domestically so far. It edged out “Into the Woods,” which remained second in its second weekend of release with $19 million and has a solid $91.2 million so far. The top three films remained the same from last weekend, with “Unbroken” keeping its spot thanks to $18.4 million effort that elevated its total tally to $87.8 million. The first newcomer of the top 10 was “The Woman in Black 2: Angel of Death,” which scored fourth place with a $15.1 million opening. That total pushed it past “Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb,” which slid back one spot to fifth with $14.5 million, good for a three-week total of $89.7 million and counting. A recycled, uninspired version of “Annie” claimed sixth place on the strength of an $11.4 million frame that also bolstered its domestic coffers to the tune of $72.6 million through three weeks. Games were the theme for the next two spots on the list, as “The Imitation Game” was seventh with $8.2 million and “The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1” landed in eighth place at $7.7 million. “Imitation” has $30.8 million in six weeks of limited release, while “Mockingjay” has $323.8 million in seven weeks. “The Gambler” continued to fly under the radar with $6.3 million for ninth place, upping its domestic bank roll to $27.5 million in two weeks. “Big Hero 6” earned the final spot of the top 10 with $4.8 million for a ninth straight weekend on the list. The animated family flick has $211.2 million in total money. “Wild” (No. 11) and “Exodus: Gods and Kings” (No. 12) both lost their top 10 spots from last weekend………


- Nothing makes a monarchy smile quite like having one of its peripheral members at the center of a multinational scandal involving alleged forced sexual encounters with a minor. That’s doubly true when said monarchy is a collection of figureheads with no actual power when it comes to running the country in question and whose primary purpose is serving as the attractive figureheads for the country and fascinating the idiotic Americans who are inexplicably enraptured by their existence. The smiles on the faces of the British royal family have to be massive right now even as Buckingham Palace ramps up its efforts to defend Prince Andrew after the British royal was embroiled in claims of sexing it up on multiple continents with a woman under the age of 18. The palace has issued its second official statement since the claims surfaced in a filing to a Florida court last week as part of a lawsuit against financier Jeffrey Epstein. While the woman wasn’t identified by name, she claims as part of the suit that she was forced to have sex with the royal in London, in New York and on a private Caribbean island when she was under the age of 18. Buckingham Palace "emphatically denied" that the 54-year-old Andrew had "any form of sexual contact or relationship" with the woman and denounced the claims as "false and without any foundation." It’s funny, but that sort of loud and vehement denial always seems to be the ploy of governments, regimes and royal families trying to cover up something inappropriate. That doesn’t mean Prince Andrew is guilty of the misdeeds of which he is accused, but the denial also doesn’t sway the argument much………..


- The NHL Players' Association thought it had negotiated a nice, extended holiday break for its members. It thought that under the terms of the league’s collective bargaining agreement, players were barred from traveling or practicing from Dec. 24-26. That three-day window of escape from hockey was supposed to give high-salaried, private-plane-traveling professional athletes a chance to kick back and enjoy Christmas with their families seemed great, but it seems not everyone was able to abide by the rules. The NHLPA is reportedly investigating whether the Philadelphia Flyers violated the CBA by traveling during a holiday break. According to online flight records, the Flyers took a flight from Philadelphia to Nashville the night of Dec. 26. The Flyers played in Nashville on Dec. 27, so flying there on Dec. 26 would seem reasonable to most people. They lost the game, 4-1, so the extra time on the ground in Nashville didn’t do much good. The Flyers may be the most egregious alleged violator of the rules, but the Anaheim Ducks, New Jersey Devils and New York Rangers were also investigated by the league for holding informal skates Dec. 26. All three teams dodged any repercussions for their illegal skates after it was determined coaches were not on the ice and team officials had no involvement in coordinating the activities. If it is discovered that the Flyers did take an illegal flight of less than an hour on the day after a holiday, the team could face a fine that will in no way hurt a team owned by a billionaire, courtesy of the league………


- Only in freaking southern California. If there’s going to be an attempted robbery involving sex toys, bongs and a machete, where else could it take place but within a long and frustrating freeway drive of Hollywood? The sex toy/bong/machete incident in question took place at the Couples Mega Outlet on the 900 block of Euclid Avenue in Anaheim, where a would-be robber was stopped in his tracks by a security guard who for some reason was equipped with said large knife. Sadly, no sex toys were used in the confrontation as weapons and the battle boiled down to one man – the robber – bring a hammer to a knife fight. Faced with the reality of being outgunned, the robber made use of what was on hand and struck the security guard with a bong. Why a security guard working at a bong and sex toy shop and undoubtedly making far too little per hour to put his well-being on the line was putting up such a fight is tough to determine, but Lt. Bob Dunn of the Anaheim Police Department said the guard was able to fight through the bong shot to the dome and respond with a whack to the attacker’s head using his machete. Once he struck the decisive blow, the guard was able to use the machete to hold the suspect down until police arrived to make the arrest. The guard emerged from the showdown with minor injuries and was treated by medical personnel at the scene. As for the store, it suffered a small financial hit with the damage from the fight and the broken bong used in the attack, but the publicity gained from this little scenario should bring in some curiosity seekers and maybe even draw a small crowd for the event at which the heroic guard can autograph bongs and show off his machete skills for his new fans………

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