- A dark day has arrived high above out hallowed land,
America. Something truly terrible is happening to every last person who has
ever taken to the friendly skies and there may be little any of us can do about
it. That’s right, the company that produces SkyMall, filed for federal bankruptcy court
protection in Phoenix on Friday. SkyMall, which offers up such vital products
as stairs for dogs to get into bed, lawn zombies and 3-foot-tall
trapezoid-shaped travel pillows, has long been a staple in the seat-back
pockets on many airline flights. People perused it because they had little else
to do during their flight, but it has fallen on hard times of late and Xhibit Chief
Financial Officer Scott Wiley laid out the problems in a court filing. "Historically,
the SkyMall catalog was the sole in-flight option for potential purchasers of
products to review while traveling," Wiley wrote in a legal declaration
filed with the bankruptcy petition. "With the increased use of electronic
devices on planes, fewer people browsed the SkyMall in-flight catalog.” Right,
but with people able to make terrible impulse buys on the spot, shouldn’t
SkyMall have thrived? Wiley blamed the U.S. Federal Aviation Administration's
recent decision to allow the use of electronic devices during take-off and
landing and increased competition as the reason SkyMall sales have gone into a
nose dive. According to court documents, SkyMall generated approximately $33.7
million in 2012 revenue, a number that dipped to $15.8 million for the nine
months that ended Sept. 28. The magazine tried to find additional funding, but
could not and sought bankruptcy court protection instead. The company’s assets
will now be sold off and maybe a financial hero can ride to the rescue and save
this true American icon………
- Bradley Cooper is riding high on the strength of his
acclaimed effort in the über-successful “American Sniper.” As with many
A-listers who feel like they’ve hit the apex of their thespian career, he’s
looking to expand his horizons with a foray into theater and will make his London
stage debut later this year in The
Elephant Man. Cooper is honing his theater chops y starring as John
Merrick in the Broadway revival of Bernard Pomerance's 1977 play, which is due
to run until February 21, after which the production will transfer to London's
West End in May for a 12-week run. Co-stars Patricia Clarkson and Alessandra
Nivola will also make the trip across the Atlantic and Cooper sounds
legitimately excited about the chance to ply his trade for the British. "Never
did we think we would have the privilege to perform this show on Broadway, let
alone in London,” Cooper said in a statement. “I'm honored that Alessandro,
Patricia, the entire company and I have the opportunity to continue to tell his
story." For those who don’t know, The Elephant Man tells the story of a
heavily disfigured man who became infamous in Victorian London, making it a
great play to perform in England. It will run at London's Theatre Royal Haymarket
from May 19 to August 8 and in between now and then, Cooper can rake in the
accolades for his efforts portraying American sniper Chris Kyle in “Sniper,”
for which he earned a Best Actor nomination, his third nod in as many years.
Maybe a Tony Award is next on the agenda……….
- Oh, this sh*t is about to get real, United Nations. You
thought that you were doing the right thing and helping to bring peace to the
troubled landscape of Mali, but not everyone agrees. Specifically, a spokesman for a Tuareg separatist movement in Mali says
relations says the U.N. is to blame for a deadly clash in which the
international body sided with the government and its allied militias. Mossa Ag
Attaher accused U.N. peacekeepers of working against his great after a Dutch
attack helicopter with the U.N. mission destroyed a separatist vehicle on
Tuesday near the remote desert town of Tabancort killing seven. As a result,
the movement has suspended relations with the U.N., which claims it only
responded with force after its peacekeepers came under fire. In response, Ag
Attaher said, his group may boycott the next round of peace talks set for Feb.
8 in Algiers. U.N. officials previously said Northern Mali fell under control
of Tuareg separatists and then al-Qaida-linked Islamic extremists in 2012, but
a French-led intervention last year scattered the extremists. Since then, U.N.
troops have worked on stabilizing the north and peace talks between the Malian
government and Tuaregs have progressed steadily since then. That could change
if the separatists follow through on their threat to boycott the next round of
talks, but at this point the entire process is just a ginormous clusterf*ck of
crazy………..
- This is not going to end well. Then again, Alex Rodriguez
should be used to unhappy endings. Once hailed as the future of baseball and
the guy who was going to break Hank Aaron’s career home run record without the
aid of performance-enhancing drugs, he became merely the latest cheater to
disgrace himself by taking a shortcut to the top. He’s known as a shirtless
park tanner, a liar, a narcissist who poses for magazine photo shoots in which
he makes out with himself in a mirror and a dishonest scumbag no one trusts.
Oh, and he’s also coming off a one-year suspension for his role in a scandal
involving s Florida-based wellness clinic/PED supply warehouse, so maybe it’s
not the best move to link up with the one guy whose reputation may actually be
worse than his own. Yes, A-Fraud met
with Barry Bonds multiple times to get hitting tips as he prepares for his
return to the major leagues, a meeting A-Fraud’s spokesman confirmed. It was
supposedly one of several consultations with former standout hitters in an
effort for Rodriguez to be at his nearly 40-year-old best when he returns to
the New York Yankees after missing last season because of his suspension. Maybe
Bonds and A-Fraud were able to discuss the best PED regimens for aging former
All-Stars, the best masking agents for various ‘roids or how to keep on
slugging when it’s clear you can no longer buy your success in a bottle or
syringe. Even if A-Fraud is in as good of shape as he claims, he is still going
to urn 40 in July and when he arrives in training camp next month, he’s going
to show up as a peripheral player who’s now fighting for playing time because the
Yankees signed Chase Headley to a four-year, $52 million deal to be the team's
third baseman. Stay classy, A-Fraud………..
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