- Plenty of Americans have been angry enough to want to kill
House Speaker John Boehner at some point – especially the other Oompa Loompas
who were jealous that he somehow grew so much taller and more orange than the
rest of them. But it seems no one more so than Boehner’s former bartender,
who was indicted last week on charges that he planned to murder the congressman
after being fired from the Wetherington Golf & Country Club in West
Chester, according to authorities. His alleged plots included plans to slip
poison into the House speaker's drink, or shoot him and drive away. With so
many clear reasons to inspire such plans, the obvious question is which one Michael
Hoyt chose. The answer, it turns out, was that he heard voices that told him
Boehner was evil. Oh, and he also believed the Ohio Republican was the devil
and blamed Boehner for the Ebola outbreak. There was also the fact that he
thought Boehner was mean to him and according to a complaint filed in federal
court in Cincinnati, police learned the details of his alleged plans after Hoyt
called officers on Oct. 29. "Hoyt told the officer he was Jesus Christ and
he was going to kill Boehner because Boehner was mean to him at the country
club and because Boehner is responsible for Ebola," United States Capitol
Police Special Agent Christopher Desrosiers reported. "Hoyt advised he had
a loaded Beretta .380 automatic and he was going to shoot Boehner and take
off." Hmm, not the best plan. Altering the law of oyur murder plans, even
if you are the messiah, tends to throw a wrench in the works. Yet Hoyt insisted
in an email to Boehner's wife, Debbie, that he “could have poisoned his wine at
Wetherington many, many times" if he really wanted to murder the speaker. Perhaps
the biggest hole in Hoyt’s plan is his belief that if he shared his scheme,
police would compel the congressman to apologize……..
- Some unhappy couples just break up and go their separate
ways with a few snarky remarks and a handful of tears. NASCAR driver and
non-athlete Kurt Busch and his former leading lady went the other direction and
their combustible breakup is still yielding plenty of sparks months after the
fact. Busch, who has styled himself as "The Outlaw," is of the
belief that ex-girlfriend Patricia Driscoll is a trained assassin dispatched on
covert missions around the world and that she once came home wearing a
blood-splattered gown. "Everybody on the outside can tell me I'm crazy,
but I lived on the inside and saw it firsthand," usch said when his
attorney, Rusty Hardin, questioned why he still believed Driscoll is a female
version of Jason Bourne. Driscoll quickly fired back, labeling Busch's
assertion "ludicrous" and saying he took it "straight from a
fictional movie script" she has been working on for eight years. Busch’s
remarks came during a court appearance over Driscoll's request for a no-contact
order, an order that seems a bit ridiculous if the person seeking it is truly a
trained assassin. Busch has worked to paint Driscoll a scorned woman out to
destroy his career and said that during their relationship she repeatedly asserted
her assassin status and claimed the work took her on missions across Central
and South America and Africa. It’s all so bizarre, like it was ripped right out
of a spy novel, including the story Busch recounted of a trip the couple took
to El Paso, Texas that included Driscoll leaving in camouflage gear only to
return later wearing a trench coat over an evening gown covered with blood.
That came one day after Driscoll allegedly told Busch she was a hired gun who
offed folks for a living and showed him pictures of bodies with gunshot wounds.
Hell, he even alleged that she claimed that she was one of the women who
inspired Jessica Chastain’s character in “Zero Dark Thirty.” The case became
more complicated last month when Michael Doncheff, who served as a personal
assistant to Busch and Driscoll, said an ailing Driscoll told him in September
that she had been picked up by a big man and slammed to the ground while
helping round up immigrants at the Mexican border. Whether any of this is true
or not, maybe it should get its own movie script…………
- Raise of hands: Who among you knows what the word
expropriate means? Anyone? Fear not, because you’re about to see a real-life
example of it and it’s for a fantastic cause. Austria's government is looking
at options that would allow it to expropriate the house where Adolf Hitler
spent his early childhood with the aim of heading off kooks who might try to
turn the property into a shrine or monument for the genocidal dictator’s admirers.
Hitler's Municipal officials in Braunau, where the house stands, have long
complained to the government that neo-Nazi extremists often visit the city and
come to their location to honor arguably the worst human being ever. Interior
Ministry spokesman Karl-Heinz Grundboeck said that his ministry expects expert
opinions by the end of the month on expropriation and other legal options.
Basically, expropriation means taking property from its owner whether he or she
likes it or not. All of that could be avoided if the owner — a woman
authorities refuse to identify — accepts a government offer to buy it. She has
turned down past overtures to purchase the property, perhaps looking to drive
up her price or maybe because she is like so many folks whose government tries
to jam them up using eminent domain and refuses to allow The Man to take more from
her than the massive tax hit she takes on an annual basis. Still, any way to
ensure that Adolf Hitler’s name is minimized and his ugly legacy is buried like
the bunker in which he died and which is now covered by a Berlin parking lot
has to be considered a good thing. If it means trampling the property rights of
someone who might be a wonderful person and otherwise entitled to keep a piece
of land she has owned for a long time, so be it……..
- Memo to self: If ever in the immediate vicinity of “Glee”
star Naya Rivera, check to see if today was a showering or non-showering day. Rivera,
who was rumored to be written out of a large chunk of the song-and-dance drama’s
final season (because other cast members didn’t want to smell her?), was a
guest host on the all-lady daytime gab fest known as “The View,” one day after
celebrating her birthday, and she shared an interesting theory about taking a
shower or bath on a regular basis. Moderator Nicolle Wallace, a possible germophobe or
simply addicted to singing in the shower, defended the fact that she showers
three times a day (pre- and post-show, plus once before bed). Rivera chimed in
with her own thoughts and let’s just say they won't be helpful to any minority
groups that are hatefully tagged with the ugly stereotype of being unclean and
smelling bad. "I think that white people shower a lot more than
ethnic," Rivera said as Wallace burst into laughter. "I feel like
showering more than once a day or every day is such a white people
thing." Not really, N. Debunking that terrible theory took less than two
minutes, as co-host Rosie O'Donnell called upon a startled African-American
woman in the audience and the woman said she is a "frequent showerer."
Rivera, undeterred, tried to defend her stance and ended up digging an even
deeper hole for herself. “My mom is half black, half Puerto
Rican. She showers every day, so I can say this. But I'm now
married to a white man," she said, referring to husband Ryan
Dorsey, whom she secretly wed in July. "And he showers a lot,
like two, three times a day.” Whatever you need to tell yourself, lady……….
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