- Rory McIlroy is
a compassionate soul. The world No. 1 golfer has been to the top of the golf
mountain and he’s also been through some very low moments as well. He’s been
the subject of intense scrutiny when his game came off the rails shortly after a
new endorsement deal in 2013 and getting engaged to tennis player Caroline
Wozniacki. He stormed off the course at the 2013 Honda Classic while blaming a
toothache for his shenanigans, then went through an extremely public breakup
with Wozniacki after the couple agreed to end their engagement. That allows him
to understand the plight of similarly vexed souls like Seattle Seahawks running
back Marshawn Lynch. Lynch has been through some great difficulties of late as
well, like being expected to answer basic questions from media members
following his great performances in big wins for his team. Yes, the NFL even
expected him to participate in media day when the Seahawks reached last year’s
Super Bowl and field questions in probing subjects like what he thought about
the game and what it felt like to reach the pinnacle of his sport. Lynch
typically responded with mumbled, two-word answers that say nothing at all
other than what a colossal ass he is. He was at it again after his team defeated
the Carolina Panthers 31-17 to advance to the NFC title game. When asked
questions after the game, he answered every one with, “I’m thankful.” In spite
of that effort and the multiple fines he’s received for his refusal to conduct
interviews like a capable human being, McIlroy took to Twitter to defend a
total stranger. “I don't know ML but seems like he marches to the beat of his
own drum, isn't defined by what other people think. I respect that in a person,”
McIlroy tweeted. Right, but he’s not marching to any drum, unless you count an
intelligent adult acting like a petulant and obstinate 5-year-old brat………
- We often take big risks in the hope of an even bigger
payoff. We do things like make risky investments, borrow money from people to
fund our dreams and….smuggle freaking narwhal tusks into the country? Huh?
Let’s check in on Union, N.J. resident Andrew Zarauskas for more
one of the most absurd get-rich-quick schemes in recent memory. The New Jersey man has been convicted
of smuggling narwhal tusks and now he’s headed to federal prison for nearly
three years. A federal judge in Maine imposed the 33-month term on Zarauskas for
conspiracy, smuggling and money laundering. The judge also ordered the newly
minted felon to forfeit six narwhal tusks, a narwhal skull and about $85,000 in
a decision that has to have the massive worldwide narwhal community high-fiving
and don’t whatever the hell lovers of creatures often known as the unicorns of
the sea for their spiral tusks that can grow longer than 8 feet do when they’re
happy. Federal prosecutors said the tusks were smuggled into Maine from Canada
and shipped to Zarauskas and a Tennessee man. In an interesting and thoroughly
predictable plot twist given that his client was caught with the illegal tusks,
attorney Steve Smith said his client thought he'd bought legal tusks. Right, because
narwhal tusk authenticity is so difficult to determine. The only real break Zarauskas
caught is that he was given a three-month delay to report to prison because of
"health considerations." Unless he considers his health by taking
what cash he has left and making a run to a country with no U.S. extradition
treat, Zarauskas is about to go to a place where not even the unicorns of the
sea can help him……….
- There really is no end to the line of people waiting to
make a buck or 1 million off the legacy and lingering fascination with late
Nirvana frontman Kurt Cobain. At least the latest gravy trainer has a direct
tie to Cobain and isn't merely trying to keep her marginal career in the realm
of relevance by latching on to the lingering whiffs of talent from the man she
married, no name’s mentioned (cough….Courtney Love….cough). This time, Cobain's
daughter Frances Bean Cobain is
acting as executive producer on HBO's forthcoming Kurt Cobain documentary. The
film, titled “Montage of Heck,” will feature original and unheard music from
the Nirvana frontman. It will be broadcast for the first time in April and in
an official release promoting the project, HBO said "the film provides
no-holds-barred access to Cobain's archives, home to his never-before-seen home
movies, recordings, artwork, photography, journals, demos, personal archives
and songbooks" and that it "features dozens of Nirvana songs and
performances, as well as previously unheard Cobain originals.” Those aren't new
promises from this sort of project, but director Brett Morgen and Frances Bean
Cobain will do their damndest to honor the spirit of a movie named after one of
Kurt Cobain's mixtapes, which was circulated widely online in 2014. The mixtape
includes clips of songs by The Beatles, Iron Maiden, The Monkees, Black
Sabbath, The Jackson Five and more, so the documentary has a chance to be extremely
compelling if done right………
- Baby steps toward freedom and modernity, Cuba, baby steps.
The Communist hell hole of an island nation that has been stuck in the 1950s
for six decades or so due to a tyrannical and repressive government that
refuses to allow its people basic rights, freedoms and modern conveniences to
keep up with the rest of the world is creeping toward the 21st century with
great trepidation and nowhere is that more evident than in the way the Cuban
government is throwing open the doors of Internet freedom to that crazy Wild
West show of information and porn that is the World Wide Web. Cuba says it will offer WiFi service in a public park in the
country's far east, but offering is a nuanced term and it’s important to
remember that an offer is only worthwhile if anyone it’s being offered to has a
snowball in hell’s chance of affording it. That’s going to be a major problem
for Cubans, as the government offering WiFi in a park in the city of Santiago
for $4.50 an hour is even less of a bargain than it seems at first glance. That
price would be steep even at an airport in the United States, where jamming
folks for insane amounts of money for items that would normally be free is a
way of life. That $4.50 price tag for 60 minutes of online time represents nearly
a quarter of the average monthly salary in Cuba and while the Cuban government
can claim this keeps up with U.S. officials’ hopes that the detente declared
with Cuba last month will help make Internet more available on the island, the
reality is that the price will make Internet access prohibitive for most Cubans.
Oh, and nothing bad ever happens in developing nations where large numbers of
people converge on a single location to use a wireless network either………
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