Monday, November 18, 2013

Nasal Rangers, movie news and a bitter Scott Boras


- Being a social worker or a foster parent is a commendable endeavor. Those willing to help an abandoned child find a home or provide that home for a young boy or girl in need is as worthwhile an undertaking as there is in life…but not everyone should be allowed to undertake it. For example, North Carolina social worker Wanda Sue Larson and her pal Dorian Lee Harper probably should have found better ways to contribute to the world given that one of Larson’s charges, an 11-year-old boy, was found cuffed by the ankle to her front porch with a dead chicken hanging from around his neck. Whether the chicken was there for punishment or as some sort of weird sorcery ritual is unclear, but what is clear is that Larson and Harper are charged with numerous offenses after a sheriff's deputy found the shivering 11-year-old boy locked up on the front porch with dead poultry hanging from his neck. Larson and Harper adopted four children and were serving as foster parents to the fifth child, but one would imagine a grand total of zero of those children would remain in their care now that they are charged with intentional child abuse inflicting serious injury, false imprisonment and cruelty to animals. All five of the children, ages 8 to 14, have been removed from the home and regardless of where they are now staying, it’s safe to say that they are in infinitely better surroundings than they had been living in. Union County Sheriff Eddie Cathey called the incident shocking and once the dynamic duo of Larson and Harper appear in court and have their case heard, odds are that the shock and disgust value of their story will only increase…….


- No one could rip the top spot at the weekend box office from Thor’s heroic hands as the superhero blockbuster strong-armed its way to $38.5 million and a two-week domestic total of $147 million and counting. Second place went to a movie that can only be described as straight-up awful, yet a film that made $30.6 million in its debut – “The Best Man Holiday.” After that, it was a steep drop-off to third place, where “The Geezer Hangover,” a.k.a. “Last Vegas,” creaked and crawled its way to $8.9 million and has earned $47 million in three weeks. The animated “Free Birds” scored fourth place with $8.3 million to raise its overall domestic total to a disappointing $42.2 million through three weeks. “Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa” continued to chug along above expectations with $7.7 million and has amassed $90.2 million in one month in theaters, a number that looks even better against the backdrop of a $15 million budget. “Gravity” defied the laws of its namesake and remained in sixth place in its seventh weekend of release after making $6.3 million to boost its total earnings to $240.5 million. “Ender’s Game” fell to seventh place with its $6.2 million effort and with a scant $53.7 million so far, it isn’t even halfway to earning back its bloated $110 million budget. The limited-release success of “12 Years a Slave” continued as the Oscar favorite banked $4.7 million while showing in just 1,411 theaters and has garnered $24.9 million so far. “Captain Phillips” claimed ninth place with $4.5 million to elevate its overall bank roll to $97.6 million. “About Time” capped the top 10 with $3.5 million, while “Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2” (No. 11) fell off the list for the first time in its eight weeks of release……….


- Welcome back, Scott Boras. Whatever rocks baseball’s most bombastic agent has been hiding under since Jay-Z started lighting him up on tracks and stealing his clients, Boras crawled out from under long enough to rip some of Major League Baseball’s big-market teams for taking a bite out of his commission by not paying his clients enough. Specifically, Boras used MLB’s general managers' meetings in Orlando to take a run at the New York Mets, Chicago Cubs and Houston Astros for not spending more money. Boras’ thinly veiled attempts to provoke teams into spending more on free agents included taking a convoluted run at the Mets by likening them to a certain downsized American space agency. "The Mets are like NASA," Boras said. "They have big rockets, a lot of platforms and very few astronauts. Astronauts are hard to find. They've got one guy with the 'Wright' stuff, that's for sure. And they've got a lot of Arm-strongs, too. But they're certainly a club that I'm sure that's in pursuit of a higher level of talent." The analogy made no sense at all, not even to Mets general manager Sandy Alderson. "I don't think his intergalactic metaphor is exactly right," Alderson said. "I'm not sure because I've first got to understand it." The Mets were an easy target because in the wake of Bernard Madoff's Ponzi scheme, they s have cut payroll by about one-third over the past two seasons and were 17th at about $95 million in the latest 2013 figures. "I think the ability to spend and actually spending are two different things. And that's only for the Mets to diagnose," Boras said. "Certainly their franchise value has gone through the roof -- they're well over $2 billion.” Up next, Boras lit up the Rickets family, which bought the Chicago Cubs four years ago, for focusing too much on the redevelopment of Wrigley Field and not enough on major league payroll. "You're developing the infrastructure, but fans don't come to see seats, grass, cement. They come to see players," he said. In another part of his rant, Boras compared the Tampa Bay Rays' stadium situation to Charles Dickens' "Tale of Two Cities," saying there was "the one they're in and the one they should be in." It was a massive reach of a metaphor to suggest that playing at Tropicana Field in St. Petersburg is a mistake and that the Rays should spend/extort the public for tax dollars to build a new facility in Tampa proper……….


- Get the partying in early, residents of the Pakisanti town of Rawalpindi, because having a great night won't be an option any time soon now that authorities have imposed a curfew in the city. Government officials imposed the curfew in Rawalpindi, near the capital Islamabad, after eight people died in sectarian clashes on Friday. Making the violence sadder is the fact that the deaths came as a religious festival was going on. Clashes erupted as Shia Muslims staged a procession marking the religious festival of Ashura and rather than celebrate the event peacefully, a few maniacs turned the day into a deadly on for eight festival attendees. Dozens more were injured and many shops set on fire in clashes between Sunni and Shia Muslims in the city. The curfew was briefly relaxed for three hours on Saturday, but the violence inspired a quick change in thinking and now officials aren't even saying when it will be completely lifted. Security forces are patrolling the streets and entry points into Rawalpindi have been closed in order to "avert further violence," according to local police. These are the sorts of overreactions that tend to happen by The Man when 35 people are injured, many with gunshot wounds, in clashes that just so happen to coincide with a sermon at a nearby Sunni mosque. Set a few (dozen) shops and a seminary on fire and next thing you know, everyone has to be off the streets by sundown. All of this unfolded during one of the most religious occasions for Shia Muslims, commemorating the anniversary of the death of Imam Hussein, the grandson of the prophet Mohammed. It’s sad that security must be upped ahead of the mourning ceremonies, but if jamming mobile phone networks is what it takes to keep the peace, then someone is going to do it……..


- Technology is often frustrating, but it can also amuse and entertain. This is one of those times when gadgets are good for a laugh and even better, police are at the center of the yuks. In their never-ending and largely pointless battle against marijuana, police officers often find themselves overmatched in a world full of stoners. Not every cop can have a drug-sniffing dog and humans’ noses simply aren't sophisticated enough to sniff out ganja everywhere it lurks. That’s why there is a new gadget called the Nasal Ranger and while it sounds like a device to trim nose hairs or a surgical device to be used when removing a quarter stuck up the nose of a rambunctious 8-year-old brat, the Ranger is actually a megaphone-like device placed on top of a person’s nose. In technical terms, the Nasal Ranger is an olfactometer, a device that enhances the detection of odors. It works by introducing an odorous baseline gas against to which the offending odor can be compared in order to measure its intensity. The Ranger is also equipped with a calibration tool because not every person has the same smell skill. Sadly, the Nasal Ranger is still in the development stages and while some law enforcement agencies are using it, it remains far from an ironclad means of stamping out the menace of hippie lettuce usage. Officials in Denver are using it to determine if individuals are making the public air smell too much like pot while they legally get baked. For the germaphobes among us, the Nasal Ranger comes with a mask for the user’s nose to keep the smells in, a disposable seal and cleaning wipes for the nose-mask and odor-filter cartridges. Oh, and it also comes with guaranteed laughter for anyone who gets to witness one being used……..

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