Sunday, November 10, 2013

German beer medicine, NBA hazing and Tom Cruise remains insane


- So….being a disheveled, homeless dude napping it out in the comfort of a $2,500 presidential suite at the most upscale hotel in the city is wrong? At Pittsburgh's prestigious Omni William Penn Hotel, such activity is indeed verboten, as evidenced by the tale of one Jeffery Watson. Watson took a restful siesta in a suite that has hosted movie stars, titans of industry, and every U.S. president from Theodore Roosevelt to Barack Obama. Guests discovered the 48-year-old homeless man last week inside the grand suite, sleeping on its (probably 500-thread-count) sheets amongst the crystal chandeliers and a grand piano. As rich people who don’t often have to deal with such riffraff would be expected to do when presented with such a situation, the rightful inhabitants of the suite called hotel security, who in turn called the police. Officers escorted Watson to the Allegheny County Jail, where the decor is described in the jail's website as "simple, sturdy and secure." For his short stint in the presidential suite, Watson was jailed on $15,000 bond and charged with theft of services and criminal trespassing. In a matter of hours, his accommodations went from a plush penthouse suite to a narrow bunk with a thin nonflammable mattress, a sink, toilet and a single slit window. Police spokeswoman Diane Richard confirmed the arrest, adding that hotel security woke Watson from his slumber on a couch and escorted him downstairs into police custody. Watson informed police that he is from Los Angeles, but had been in Pittsburgh a few months, sleeping wherever "he could rest his head,” as he tried to find his way back home. It was unclear how long he had stayed in the suite, but Eric DeStefano, the hotel's general manager, said officials believe that Watson gained access to a parlor area used for receptions after a door was programmed to stay unlocked for an event. In a wholly unnecessary gesture, Watson has also been banned from the Penn…….


- In intra-marriage arguments, the husband admitting he’s wrong whether he is or not is generally the most effective method of resolving a dispute. According to a new joint study by researchers from the University of California-Berkeley and Northwestern University, there is a more important aspect of an argument when it comes to long-term marital satisfaction. The researchers found that extended peace and happiness in a relationship depends on wives, not husbands, regulating their own emotions. Psychologist Robert Levenson of UC-Berkeley and his team found that while husbands should not tell their wives to calm down or shut up during a fight, the happiest marriages were those which wives were able to regain their composure quickly during a dispute, both in the short- and long-term sense. For their work, the researchers assessed recorded interactions of over 80 heterosexual couples middle-aged or older, focusing on disagreements and how the couples recovered from them. The couples in the story were from a group of 156 such pairs Levenson has been following in the San Francisco Bay Area since 1989. "When wives discuss problems and suggest solutions, it helps couples deal with conflicts," Levenson said. "Ironically, this may not work so well for husbands, who wives often criticize for leaping into problem-solving mode too quickly." In their final thoughts, the research team noted that the ability of the wives to control emotions and the link to marital satisfaction was strongest when women used "constructive communication" to calm arguments……..


- No one would ever attempt to argue that Tom Cruise is sane. However, Cruise and his attorneys are taking issue with the suggestion that he is an absentee father who does little more than write checks and keep his children in Prada and Dolce. The diminutive actor is suing In Touch magazine over a cover story that claimed he "abandoned" Suri, his daughter with ex-wife Katie Holmes, after Holmes filed for divorce in June 2012. Cruise is seeking $50 million he does not need despite admitting in a deposition that he did not see Suri for more than 100 days and that he only saw her 10 days between June 2012 and Thanksgiving 2012. How can he make such a statement and yet still sue? It’s simple: Being an actor is a brutal, unforgiving and inherently dangerous job that is as hazardous as the life of a soldier fighting in a war in Afghanistan and as rigorous as an Olympic sprinter training for the next Summer Games. Cruise dropped that pearl of (wholly untrue) wisdom in a September deposition, likening shooting on location to serving a tour in Afghanistan. "That's what it feels like. And certainly on this last movie, it was brutal. It was brutal,” he said, presumably while doing a full-speed sprint toward the camera with a pained expression on his face, as is his forte in every damn one of his films. "There is difficult physical stamina and preparation. Sometimes I've spent months, a year, and sometimes two years preparing for a single film. A sprinter for the Olympics, they only have to run two races a day. When I'm shooting, I could potentially have to run 30, 40 races a day, day after day." How good is Cruise, breaking down the training and competition regimen of an Olympian when he has no freaking idea what that life is like? But hey, if it will help him win that  $50 million libel lawsuit against Bauer Publishing, then who the hell cares how offensive those comments are to actual soldiers or real Olympians? "While I'm sure my daughter misses me when I am not with her (as I miss her), she is a very happy child, and we have a wonderful relationship and cheerful phone calls,” Cruise concluded………


- Germans LOVE beer. Not just their beer, but beer in general. How much? Enough for a top German health official to proudly inform the world that a "bottle of warm beer" can sometimes be more effective than psychotherapy. Josef Hecken, chairman of the body that decides which treatments are offered by the country's statutory health system, recently made the bold statement that he believes a nice, warm bottle of booze can heal mild "occasional problems" such as sleep disorders. Hecken broke new medical ground by saying that "a psychotherapist is not needed next to every citizen" and that sometimes a beer "is enough." Suggesting that a troubled person grab a six-pack and start chugging could be viewed as irresponsible for someone in Hecken’s position, but he may have skated on the remarks had they not been recorded in official notes taken during the meeting with German health insurers. Predictably, there were a few whiny losers who were offended by these courageous comments, namely Dieter Best, chairman of the German Association of Psychotherapists. Herr Best decried Hecken's comments as "unspeakable” and added that they had triggered a "protest letter" being circulated among psychotherapists. "You trivialize and ignore the needs of our patients with your bottle of beer metaphor, and subtly stigmatize people with severe psychiatric disorders,” the letter read. Hecken should have stood his ground against these ignoramuses, but instead he issued a statement in which he called his remarks "unfortunate." "I ... know and am aware, that there are significant interdependencies between alcohol consumption and psychological diseases, which are documented in studies," Hecken said in the statement. "That is why the last thing I want to do is to trivialize psychological diseases or to even describe alcohol consumption as an appropriate alternative for psychotherapeutic treatment." He wrapped up with a favorite cliché of anyone who says something offensive and then is taken aback by the resulting blowback, suggesting that his remarks were "capable of being misunderstood." No need to apologize, Joe, but you will need to apologize if you don’t pour a tall, frosty mug of that delicious pilsner…….


- No one is ever going to confuse the culture of an NBA locker room with the frat-boy ways of its NFL counterpart, but the Association isn’t taking any chances. In the wake of the Miami Dolphins' ongoing bullying scandal involving AWOL lineman Jonathan Martin and a handful of his fellow linemen, the NBA sent out a memo to all 30 of its teams late last week to remind them that no form of bullying or hazing will be tolerated. League sources confirmed the sending of the memo, which reportedly mentions the situation in Miami and directs NBA players to report anything if they feel the need while also laying out specific violations of the league's policies. The long list of violations, which no player is likely to read in full, includes: any physical abuse or threats of violence; verbal abuse focused based on an individual's race, nationality, color, sexuality, gender, religion, etc.; destruction, defacement or theft of a fellow player's personal property; engaging in any activity that intimidates or threatens fellow players with ostracism or inflicts extreme mental stress, embarrassment, humiliation or shame; and forcing an individual to perform any task that violates federal, state or local law or NBA rules and regulations. The memo also tackled the NFL-centric topic of forcing a player (usually a rookie) to unreasonably pay for meals, travel, entertainment expenses, goods or services that are being solely enjoyed by others as well as imposing physical activities on a fellow player – i.e. binge drinking, locking them in a confined space or taping them to a chair - that leads to unreasonable risk for the individual or adversely affects their mental or physical health or safety. As NBA “hazing” usually consists of forcing rookies to wear children’s backpacks to games and practices, a reminder about hazing is more perfunctory than anything else. It’s also a way for the NBA to cover its ass in the event anything happens and put on a positive PR face so it can assure fans and media that nothing untoward is going on behind its scenes……..

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