Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Dead cartoon dog, how to help monogamy and Seattle Seahawks drug issues


- Now would be an awesome time for the Seattle Seahawks to back away from all substances not allowed by the NFL. That would include performance-enhancing drugs and especially marijuana, the latter of which is (allegedly) the reason two of its top defensive backs will not be playing Monday night in a showdown that could determine the eventual winner of the NFC. The Seahawks will host the New Orleans Saints with the conference’s best record on the line and they will do so without cornerbacks Brandon Browner and Walter Thurmond III. Browner, who is currently recovering from a groin injury and was not expected to be available until mid-December, has been banned for one year by the league for violating the league's substance-abuse policy. Thurmond, who is expected to drop an appeal of his suspension, will be out for four games for the same reason but is expected to return for the playoffs. They become the sixth and seventh Seattle players suspended due to PED- or ganja-related drug policy violations, joining an illustrious list that includes: OT Allen Barbre, S Winston Guy, G John Moffitt, CB Richard Sherman and DE Bruce Irvin. Sherman eventually had his suspension overturned after successfully arguing that he took Adderall for medically approved reasons. Facing Drew Brees sans two starting defensive backs isn't optimal and one of Thurmond and Browner’s teammates wasn’t shy in commenting on the subject. Seahawks receiver Golden Tate said Thurmond and Browner were "selfish" by forcing the league to suspend them for substance abuse. "Everyone should realize where this team is," Tate said. "You are affecting way more than yourself. I feel like that was kind of a selfish move on both those guys' part. Yes, reaching the point where the hippie lettuce is more important than a game that will likely determine homefield advantage for the playoffs does come off as a slightly (totally) selfish, d-bag move………


- Can a simple hormone (not a whore moan) keep your man faithful, ladies? Science says yes and the answer to this unavoidable struggle of life is the hormone oxytocin, dubbed the “love hormone,” which sweeps through the brain after holding hands, hugging, kissing and sex. According to a study led by Dr. Rene Hurlemann, a professor of psychiatry at Germany’s University of Bonn, the release of oxytocin increases men’s long-term attachment to their ladies. Hurlemann and her team tested 20 men currently in relationships that were an average of two years long. One gorup received an oxytocin nasal spray and the control group received a placebo. The men were then asked to look at pictures of their partner, a female stranger or a house (because who doesn’t find a house sexy, after all). In the second part of the test, the men looked at photos of their partners or female acquaintances. Participants who received doses of oxytocin showed a higher activity level in the reward and pleasure-center parts of the brain when shown pictures of their partners, but photos of other women snuffed out those feelings of pleasure. Relationships typically begin with high levels of oxytocin, but that initial surge typically declines as people age and relationships develop. The obvious conclusion from the study is that women should wear perfume laced with oxytocin, but a secondary theory could be that more physical contact (in a non-abusive way, of course) could help couples going through rough spots. “Sexual monogamy is actually quite costly for males, so there must be some form of mechanism binding males and females together, at least for some time,” Hurlemann said. “There must be some benefit, and reward is actually the strongest motivation underlying human behavior.” The researchers did not examine the female side of the equation, but their work is still a small boost for fans of long-term monogamy……..


- Sinkholes: They’re no longer a strictly American problem. No, these gaping gashes in the surface of the Earth strike elsewhere around the globe and residents of the rural village of Sanica, Bosnia-Herzegovina are living with that reality right now. Not long ago, Sanica was home to a tranquil pond bobbing with green algae and lined with willow trees. Now, this rustic little hamlet has a gigantic moonlike crater where its pond used to be. The eerie sight looks like it was ripped directly from a cheap sci-fi movie, but this is no CGI imagery. "I sat here only a day before it happened, sipping plum brandy," resident Cemal Hasan said. "And then, there was panic. Fish were jumping out, and a big plum tree was pulled down like someone yanked it with a hook." The pond was swallowed up two weeks ago and now, in place of a body of water some 76 feet in diameter and 25 feet deep, is a crater that measures 162 feet wide and 100 feet deep. Worse still, it is steadily growing. Locals have taken to calling it “the abyss,” which means it shouldn’t be long before someone is borrowing a line from the classic Zach Braff film “Garden State” and wishing their friends, “Good luck exploring the infinite abyss.” This type of sink hole is not uncommon and generally occurs because of drying underground water currents or changes in soil drainage due to irrigation. Predictably, Sanica’s villagers are rejecting all such logical scientific explanations. They are tossing around wild theories about giant caves and underground volcanoes….or the possibility that fish could have triggered the explosion of one of several World War II German bombs believed to have been thrown into the pond by an old woman after the war. This mythical (and probably fabricated) hero allegedly died when one of the bombs exploded in her arms. There is also an extremely plausible theory that the owner of the pond took it with him when he died about a month ago. Well played, rural kooks……..


- It’s always (not) sad when a fictional cartoon dog dies. Such was the bad news that befell one of the central characters in Fox’s long-running adult cartoon “Family Guy.” Brian the family dog was hit and killed by a car during the Season 12 episode “Life of Brian,” ending his run as a series regular since the show’s pilot in 1999. In the episode, Stewie destroyed his time machine and the Griffins adopted a new pet to replace their beloved dog. Executive producer Steve Callaghan explained the thinking behind Brian’s death, which included the family saying teary goodbyes to their bruised and bloodied dog. "We thought it could be a fun way to shake things up," Callaghan says. "It seemed more in the realm of a reality that a dog would get hit by a car. As much as we love Brian, and as much as everyone loves their pets, we felt it would be more traumatic to lose one of the kids, rather than the family pet." The void left by Brian’s death was soon filled when the Griffins adopted a fast-talking new dog named Vinny, who is voiced by “The Sopranos” star Tony Sirico. Vinny proved his worth by helping comfort Stewie in the wake of his devastating loss. "Where Brian was sort of a match for Stewie intellectually, Vinny is a good match for Stewie because he doesn't let Stewie get away with any crap," Callaghan says. "He'll call Stewie out on his B.S. freely." “Family Guy” cast members Mila Kunis and Seth Green were surprised to learn of the plot twist and so were many of the shows fans. Some of them launched a campaign built around the hashtag #BringBackBrian on Twitter and in the world of adult cartoons, a dog going Lazarus on death is always possible. Still, Callaghan isn’t worried about any potential backlash. "Our fans are smart enough and have been loyal to our show for long enough to know that they can trust us," he said. "We always make choices that always work to the greatest benefit of the series." Pour one out for Brian and then move on, “Family Guy” fans……..


- The common man has had enough and in a city where attitude is a prerequisite for residence, he isn't taking any more sh*t from The Man. In the midst of one of the busiest travel weeks of the year, workers at all three major New York City area airports are rising up to protest low wages and poor working conditions. Given the run-down, out-of-date feel of all three airports, the complaints don’t come as a huge stunner. The festivities began Monday at John F. Kennedy International, where baggage handlers, security workers cabin cleaners staged demonstrations to make their voice heard. The group consists of sub-contracted airport workers from Airway, PrimeFlight, AirServ, and Aviation Safeguards and these fine folks are coming together to protest low pay and poor working conditions this holiday season. “We’re asking for fair wages, respect, and health coverage,” said Donna Hampton, an Aviation Safeguards employee and unofficial spokesperson for the group.  “Workers say their main issue is that even though they’re providing services like security, maintenance, and baggage handling, because they’re sub-contracted they say they’re not making as much money as workers who are doing the same jobs but are employed directly by the airlines and airports.” Hampton spoke of a co-worker who has put in 20 years on the job and makes just $8 an hour. So far, none of the four companies with employees involved in the protest have responded to their requests. For their first official act of protest, the group turned over a petition with more than 500 signatures to British Airways, which sub-contracts through their companies. Protestors claimed they do not make enough to support their families and must do their jobs – most of which involve some outdoor work – regardless of weather conditions. The protest moved to LaGuardia International on Tuesday and Newark on Wednesday, but from there, the course of this uprising is unknown……..

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