- As much as I love riots, protests and social or political demonstrations of all kinds, it appears that the closed-minded, brutal and oppressive government in the Middle Eastern nation of Bahrain, hates them with equal passion. I know this because the government there has taken a leap of absurdity in reacting to a recent protest staged by some Shiite activists in their country. More than a dozen of those Shiites have been inexplicably charged with crimes ranging from attempted murder to illegal assembly and rioting. Three of the activists are facing attempted murder charges, while another 11 are being railroaded on the illegal assembly and rioting charges. I guess in Bahrain the only way you’re allowed to assemble is if you’re doing so to blindly praise and support the government. This is an absolute outrage that these people are being hit with such bogus charges just for daring to stand up to their government and to speak out for what they believe in. I might not be Muslim and I might not be Bahraini, but as you all know, I am ALWAYS down with those who take it to the streets to riot, protest and speak out. Stay strong, Shiite activists, because those with an IQ above 45 know that you all didn’t do anything wrong.
- Looking for a place not to be on Jan. 17? If so, I strongly recommend San Juan, Puerto Rico, specifically the Old San Juan area of the city. What so horrible about a nice place like San Juan, you ask? Normally, I’d say there’s no reason to avoid the area, but on that day, one of the biggest train wrecks in musical history, the tip-frosting, bon-bon-shaking poseur that is Ricky Martin will be the guest of honor at the San Sebastian Street Festival, a popular event that attracts thousands to the cobblestone streets of old San Juan annually. I actually don’t have a problem with Martin being honored for his charitable work with children, but the fact that he’s also being honored for his music I do have a problem with. He’s a hack, a vocally-stunted, former man-bander who has made some of the most un-listenable, just flat-out awful music literally of the past century. His lyrics are moronic, his voice sucks, his videos are idiotic and he’s a punch line, not a reason to celebrate. So have your festival, San Juan, honor his work with kids but please stop pretending like his music isn’t an absolute abomination.
- If you were planning a trip to Mars for next month, now might be a good time to reconsider those plans. Scientists in Los Angeles have upgraded the chances that a football field-size asteroid will strike the red planet next month by 4 percent. The asteroid, discovered in late November by the NASA-funded Catalina Sky Survey in Arizona, could plow right into Mars and let’s face it, if you’re heading there for a relaxing vacation, that’s going to ruin things. Initially there was thought to be a 1-in-75 chance of a collision occurring, but those odds have now jumped. The massive space rock, identified by the name 2007 WD5, could cause major damage, but at least it won’t be hitting earth. For all you Martians out there, though, you’ll want to check the asteroid-damage portion of your homeowners’ insurance to make sure that you’re covered.
- Going to a bowl game is great for college football players, what with getting a chance to travel to a new place, somewhere that’s usually warm and sunny, and enjoy all of the festivities that go with the game. Unfortunately for University of Oklahoma football player DeMarcus Granger, those festivities turned felonious when he decided to thieve a jacket from the Burlington Coat Factory store at Arizona Mills Mall. Granger, a starting defensive tackle for the No. 3-ranked Sooners, will not play in the Fiesta Bowl on Wednesday and has been sent home by the team. Good thinking, D., getting yourself booked on one charge of shoplifting and costing your team one of its top defensive players just days before the big game. Why can’t you just pay for your jacket like everyone else? I know as a college kid, you might not have a lot of extra cash in the wallet, but just because you’re a 307-lb. defensive tackle and an OU football player doesn’t give you the right to take what you want and walk out of the store, my man. Besides, a coat is a pretty bulky item and stealing it is kinda hard. That’s also why they have those little security tags on items, to prevent idiots like you from stealing things. Next year, if you get to go to a bowl game, just stay in your hotel room, maybe go to the pool or out to eat with your teammates and avoid going anywhere you might be tempted to shoplift, moron…..
- If there’s one thing the French excel at – other than not showering, that is – it’s surrendering and giving in. For once, that predilection for waving the white flag will actually do some good, as a national smoking ban will be officially extended to include bars, clubs, restaurants, hotels, casinos and cafes. The initial ban took place back in February and included “closed and covered public spaces” such as train stations, schools, airports and hospitals. Predictably, leather-faced, green-skinned, lung-cancer-loving smokers are outraged, because they just can’t understand why they aren’t allowed to choke down their cancer sticks in public and give off harmful fumes that negatively impact the health of innocent bystanders who are smart enough not to smoke. The French Health Ministry, which for some reason doesn’t openly promote the health benefits of showering regularly to its citizens, says that an average of one in two regular smokers in France dies of smoking-related illness and that 5,000 non-smokers die in the country each year from the effects of secondhand smoke. In other words, they’re basically killed by smokers, which makes smoking a crime in some sense. Many other Euro nations, including Spain, Belgium, Britain and Ireland, already have smoking bans. It’s tough news for the roughly 15 million Frenchmen who smoke, but I really don’t give a crap if they like it or not…..
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