- I think we all know what the most important factors are when choosing the right college or university to attend. And no, I’m not talking about the cost of tuition, the academic reputation of a school, whether it offers the programs and majors you want or whether it has the best professors and instructors. No, I’m talking about the very things covered in the annual survey done by Collegehumor.com – things like the closing time of local bars (the later the better, obviously), the number of fraternities and sororities, quality of musicians playing shows at or near the school and proximity of the closest Taco Bell to campus. As Collegehumor.com puts it, these are the schools that offer the best chance to have the maximum amount of fun with the minimum amount of effort. Right, because that’s what college should be all about – having a blast but not having to put forth too much effort to do so. So what schools rank highest on the list? Penn State leads the pack, followed by Florida, Virginia Tech, Oklahoma, Auburn, Alabama, LSU, Tennessee, Clemson and Michigan State. Judging from that list, I’d have to say that not only is the Southeastern Conference the best conference in college football, it also has the strongest pool of schools that are fun to attend and not overly strenuous. When five of the top ten schools on this particular list are from one conference, there’s no doubt as to who is No. 1 in all the land.
- One quick NFL note that slipped by earlier this week when I was rightfully focusing on the dream season, a reverse perfect year, for the Miami Dolphins, is the nomadic tale of defensive end Simeon Rice in 2007. Even if you’re not a hardcore NFL fan, you have to be amused by Rice’s saga this season. He began the year with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, the team he had played for the past X seasons. Because of a troublesome right shoulder injury, the Bucs released Rice before training camp and he began making the rounds to see what other teams would be interested in signing him. At first it looked like the team with the most interest was the New York Giants, whose star pass rusher, Michael Strahan, held out for all of training camp. But the Giants passed on Rice and Strahan eventually came back to the team, so Simeon continued his quest for a team. He finally landed in Denver, signed to bolster a Broncos defensive line that has been among the NFL’s worst this season. With that fresh start, Rice was able to last all of X games before being released for a second time in the season. He obviously didn’t get the hint that he wasn’t contributing much on the field, because Rice went searching for a new team once again and actually found a sucker, er, suitor – the defending world champion Indianapolis Colts. This time, Simeon didn’t get cut after X games. No, he was cut after only one game, leaving him without a team once again. This dude has become like that joint people pass around at a party when they’re sitting around someone’s basement on a couch, everyone taking a hit and giving it to the next person. And much like that joint after it’s been passed from person to person, Rice’s career is starting to look burned out and used up. I know it’s extremely tough for competitive athletes to hang it up and admit that they can’t get the job done anymore, but Simeon, there have been four different teams this season alone who have clearly stated that you don’t have what it takes anymore. Take the hint, stop embarrassing yourself and retire.
- And here I was thinking that the only things singer Amy Winehouse couldn’t do without were her stash of coke and a bottle of booze. Winehouse has pulled one of the lamest bailouts in the history of musicians who cancel shows by announcing that she’s pulling the plug on the rest of her concert dates this year because she doesn’t have her husband, Blake Fielder-Civil, with her. Why isn’t he with her, you ask? It’s not because the couple doesn’t want to be together or because they had some sort of fight and are separated. No, it’s because Fielder-Civil is in jail without bail until Jan. 18 awaiting trial on charges of assault and “perverting the course of justice,” which translates into attempting to bribe his accuser into dropping the charges. “I can’t give it my all onstage without my Blake,” Winehouse whined in a statement put out by her publicist. “I’m so sorry, but I don’t want to do shows half-heartedly.” Are you f’ing kidding me? On the list of acceptable reasons to cancel or postpone a show, there are only a few entries. One of the performers being to physically ill or injured to perform is one. A relative or loved one being in serious medical trouble is another. A band member being in jail themselves or attending a family activity such as a child’s wedding or graduation also is an acceptable reason to cancel. However, you being bummed out because your husband is a lowlife scumbag who is in jail on some fairly minor charges is not a valid reason to cancel shows. He’s not dead, he’s not dying, he’s not even facing life in prison. He’ll probably get a fine, a few months in jail at most, so suck it up and sing, Winehouse. Artists have gone on stage when they were so drunk they could barely stand up. They’ve performed when their voices were about to give out, they’ve performed at outdoor venues in story, abysmal weather. Yet here you are, acting like a total wuss and basket case who doesn’t feel like she can perform if you husband isn’t at the show. What are you, five years old? Can we get your mommy to come and hold your hand instead so you can get up and sing? I’m just glad I wasn’t a fan of Winehouse before this, because if I was, I’d be selling my albums and merch and looking for a receptacle to puke it, because she makes me sick.
- BAM! That word will soon be returned to its original pioneer, Batman, to go along with Kapow! and Wham-o, because the man who has made it famous of late, TV chef extraordinaire Emeril Lagasse, is having the plug pulled on his show, Emeril Live, by the Food Network. The show, which has been on the air for a decade and has become one of Food Network’s staple programs, will cease production Dec. 11. However, Lagasse remains under contract with the network, so they won't be parting ways any time soon. “We love him, we support him and look forward to a long partnership with him,” Food Network publicist Carrie Welch said earlier this week. Asked to give a specific reason for the cancellation of the show, Welch would only say that all good things must come to an end. The network will continue producing The Essence of Emeril and Lagasse will also appear in specials and other programming. If you go by the statements he and the network are making, it sounds like a mutual decision and one that is on good terms. Somewhere, Rachel Ray can be heard cheering and jumping for joy. She just took another step toward the top in the world of TV chefs….
- Like a big, angry, powerful, in-need-of-a-shower train steaming down the tracks, you simply cannot stop the powerful force that is angry French youths in Paris. For a third consecutive night, dozens of angry teens rioted in response to the deaths of two of their peers in a bike-car crash Sunday night in which the police are accused of leaving the scene without helping the two teens on a bike who hit them. The violence has begun to spread from the tough suburbs north of Paris to other neighborhoods around the city, with so-called “urban guerillas” joining in the fight as well. More cars and buildings were burned on this night and the violence has escalated to the point that rioters are opening fire on police officers. While I admit this is an extreme step and one I don’t usually advocate for a successful riot, this thing has clearly gone above and beyond the normal rules and customs of rioting and escalated into a full-fledged state of emergency. Someone needs to step in and pull these French teens off of the local police, because if they don’t these crazies may light the whole city on fire…..
- Of the life rules I live by, one of them is to never, ever, ever piss off Bob Knight and to never be within a hundred miles of him when he’s in an agitated state. James Simpson, one of Knight’s neighbors in the Lubbock, Tex. are, would do well to abide by this rule as well, although at this point it might be too late for Simpson. He’s become the second person in his neighborhood to accuse Knight or one of his hunting companions of intentionally hitting them with a shotgun blast while out hunting. If you’ve seen the home video of the confrontation, you’ve heard Knight yelling at Simpson that after Simpson asked him to be more careful about where he was shooting. Simpson told The Associated Press that birdshot came into his yard three times on Oct. 21 and three times he yelled from a distance at Knight and the other man to move away from his home to hunt dove. Simpson then got a video camera and taped some of the incident in which Knight disputes what Simpson accuses him of. You can tell Knight is agitated by Simpson’s act, but that didn’t stop Simpson from further pissing Knight of by reporting the incident to the police. My question is do you really want to press the issue when the other party is Bob Knight. Rather than aggravate him by taking this to the police, why don’t you go ask that chair he threw all the way across the court what getting Knight angry does? Or maybe you should talk to Neil Reed, the player Knight choked in practice while coaching at Indiana, what pissing him off accomplishes. You could also talk to the athletic department secretary at IU that Knight hurled a flower vase at how he reacts when angered. Also, you could have a chat with the Indiana student the coach attacked and verbally berated after the kid greeted him with “Hey Knight!” how Bob-O deals with being upset. I know you might want some sort of justice for what you feel is an intentional shooting with shotgun shells, but trust me, James, you’re better off just dropping this. If you are O.J. Simpson, I’d say go for it, pursue the charges, because I’m not betting on anyone against the Juice, not even Bob Knight. Knight may be crazy, but he never turned two people into human Pez dispensers (allegedly) or conducted a commando-style raid on a Vegas hotel room (probably). But since you are James Simpson and not O.J., your best course of action is to just walk away and hope you haven’t angered Knight too much already.
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