- Riot time! Riot time! Yes, boys and girls, it’s that most special of times, time to go around the globe in search of today’s great riot. On this day, our search takes us to Tehran, where an estimated 1,500 students gathered to demand the release of fellow students who have been jailed in recent months for demonstrating against despot/dictator Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Ah, good ol’ Tehran U., always a party school and always home to the biggest troublemakers on any campus in all of Iran. I have to say though, as much as I appreciate a good protest rally, isn’t this kind of an opening invitation to Ahmadinejad and his crew to continue this vicious cycle of incarcerating those who speak out against them? You’re doing the same thing your fellow students did to get thrown in prison and you’re doing it to try to get them out of prison. Kinda ironic, no? Still, sometimes you have to take a risk and stand in the way of a dictatorial steamroller if you’re going to affect any change. So I hope you all don’t get thrown in jail as well, because sooner or later there isn’t going to be anyone left to protest if you dissidents keep getting thrown in jail. But stay strong, and if you don’t get a response to your protest, up the ante. Burn something, loot something and clash with police, because if you’re not going to take a protest or riot to the next level, why even bother? Riot on, Iranian students, riot on…..
- Finally, the Marion Jones/steroid-user saga can get a nice, ‘roid-fueled bow on it and we can start forgetting about that lying, cheating, disingenuous, selfish loser. She was formally removed from Olympic records Wednesday when the IOC formally stripped her of her three gold and two bronze medals. “She is disqualified and scrapped from the results,” IOC president Jacques Rogge said at the close of a three-day executive board meeting. The International Olympic Committee also banned Jones from attending next year's Beijing Olympics "not only as an athlete but also in any other capacity," and said it could bar her from future games. Not necessary, IOC, I think that by the time the 2012 Olympics hit, Jones will be pushing 40 and her days as a competitive sprinter will be done, with or without her ‘roids. But what, she can’t show up at the games in any capacity? She can’t be a popcorn vendor, ticket taker or parking lot attendant? I think that’s a bit severe. Although the IOC did strip Jones of her medals, they postponed a decision on redistributing those medals, including whether to strip her eight American relay teammates and whether to upgrade doping-tainted Greek sprinter Katerina Thanou to gold in the 100 meters. Jones won her gold medals in the 100 meters, 200 meters and 1,600-meter relay in Sydney, and bronze in the long jump and 100-meter relay, making her the first female track and field athlete to win five medals in a single Olympics – well, until now, that is. In addition to stripping her Sydney medals, the IOC disqualified Jones from her fifth-place finish in the long jump at the 2004 Athens Olympics. No word on whether she’ll forfeit her aluminum foil medal from that result. Jones had already handed back her medals in their physical form, and the IOC also plans to ask the U.S. Olympic Committee to get Jones to return the diplomas she received for competing in Sydney and Athens. Taking back the medals and erasing Jones from the Olympic record books was just the latest step in the process of bringing the hammer of justice down on her. Last month, the International Association of Athletics Federations erased all of Jones' results dating to September 2000, but it was up to the IOC to formally disqualify her and revoke her Olympic medals. Rogge said the IOC had begun the process for removing the American relay teams' medals, but would allow the runners a chance to state their case at a hearing. They will be represented by the USOC at that hearing, even though the body has already said the relays were tainted and the medals should be returned. “We cannot disqualify the two relay teams without offering to the USOC a proper hearing,” Rogge said. “It's up to the USOC to decide what to do about that. But we have to follow the procedures.” Rogge said he expects the relay medal issue to be resolved at the next executive board meeting in Beijing in April. Well, it sounds like those relay teammates will receive a verrrrrry fair shot. Jearl-Miles Clark, Monique Hennagan, LaTasha Colander-Richardson and Andrea Anderson, members of the U.S. 1,600-relay team and Chryste Gaines, Torri Edwards, Nanceen Perry and Passion Richardson, members of the 400-relay squad, sound like they’re already screwed. They’re being represented in a hearing by their own Olympic Committee that has already said their medals are tainted. Rogge makes it seem like the hearing is merely a formality, that a decision has basically been made and that the IOC is only holding this hearing so it can say it followed proper procedure. My advice to all of the relay team members: Hide your medals somewhere and don’t tell anyone their location. Lock them up and throw away the key, because the IOC is coming for them. You shouldn’t be forced to give them up, but you will if you don’t stash them now.
- Awesome. Flat-out awesome. That’s the best way to describe the reunited and slightly tweaked Led Zeppelin lineup that took the stage earlier this week in London for a one-time show at a benefit concert held at the O2 Arena on the banks of the River Thames. Jimmy Page, Robert Plant and John Paul Jones – the three living members of the original Led Zep – were joined on drums by Jason Bonham, son of original drummer John Bonham. All of the band’s classic songs were there, including Good Times Bad Times, Ramble On, Whole Lotta Love, Rock and Roll, Kashmir and Stairway to Heaven. Bonham was great, pounding out the beats just like his old man, keeping everyone in rhythm and doing such an effective job on the drums that if you closed your eyes, you could hardly tell that difference between Zep’s 2007 performance and it’s 1980 shows, the last year the original group was together. Even Plant was impressed with Bonham, screaming after The Song Remains the Same, “Jason Bonham, drums! Come on!” Ironically, the 41-year-old Bonham is actually nine years older than his father was in 1980 when he choked to death on his own vomit, another victim of the drugs and death curse that has taken far too many musicians at a young age. In talking about the evening during their performance, Page summed it up thusly: “It’s quite peculiar to imagine…..to think about creating a dynamic evening from 10 different albums. There are certain songs that have to be there.” True, and few bands can say they’ve not only put out 10 albums, but 10 great albums. Even if this was a one-time thing, it was awesome to see Led Zeppelin back together and doing what they do best. Ramble on, guys.
- Way to go, Democrats. Just days after admitting that they may be forced to cave in on giving more war funding to the debacle in Iraq, congressional Dems have rallied back and now say they may abandon efforts to reach agreement with Republicans on a comprehensive federal spending bill because the GOP isn’t bargaining in good faith. True, it’s not the same as throwing down the gauntlet and saying you won't agree to any bill that doesn’t end spending on the Mess O’Potamia, but I’ll take it. House Appropriations Committee Chairman David Obey, D-Wis., had been working toward a compromise with Republicans that would bridge the gap between the idiotic spending proposal submitted by W. and the one advocated by Democrats, but those efforts have come to a screeching halt and I couldn’t be happier. Anything that denies that ass hat W. money for his own personal Vietnam for any length of time is cool with me. Use whatever excuse you want, Democrats, say the dog ate your spending proposal, your computer crashed, your printer was out of ink or that you have the two-week flu, I don’t care. Just do whatever it takes to curb spending on this war so we can end it sooner rather than later.
- God bless you, whoever it was that infected NFL Network announcer and TV personality (ironic for a guy with no personality) Bryant Gumbel with whatever strain of cold or flu he currently has. I don’t know who made him sick and I don’t know the specific illness, but what I do know is that Gumbel won't be doing tonight’s Texans-Broncos game on NFL Network and I, along with millions of other football fans, could not be happier. Gumbel has no discernable personality and most of the time, it’s not clear if he even has a pulse or voice box when doing games, so I can say with certainty that the broadcast will be better off with veteran announcer Tom Hammond instead of Gumbel. Football announcers are supposed to be energetic and passionate, or at least appear mildly interested in the game, but Gumbel mumbles and low-talks his way through games at a volume level that puts most viewers to sleep. He actually depresses you instead of engaging you in the game, and he talks in a low, calm monotone that is just horrible to listen to. Gumbel may be a smart guy and an accomplished TV journalist, but a good football announcer he is not. Even the brightest, most talented people aren’t good at everything, and announcing football games is one thing Bryant Gumbel sucks at. Stay sick for the rest of the season if you can, B., we won't miss you.
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