- Make up a contest and you can get some people to do incredibly moronic things, things like getting married in one of the dirtiest, most disgusting environments in all the world – a public restroom. Jennifer Cannon and Doy Nichols of Louisville, Ky., were the “winners” of the 2007 Toilet Paper Wedding Dress Contest, sponsored by Cheap-Chic-Weddings.com. The duo were married in the Charmin Restrooms in Times Square, temporary, free public restrooms, with the bride in a gown made of two-ply, extra-soft toilet paper. Now there’s the kind of memory you want as the day your lives together began, getting married in the filthy, smelly, unsavory conditions of a public restroom. And no, I don’t care if you had it cleaned before the ceremony, it’s still a freaking public restroom and it’s still disgusting. I can barely bring myself to go to the bathroom in one of those hell holes, but you get married there? Why, because it’s free? Hey Jennifer and Doy, spring for the extra few bucks and go down to the courthouse to get hitched. A good rule is that if the place your wedding is held reeks of urine and feces on a regular basis, you should not be getting married there. Where was the reception, at a local trash dump? Let this be a lesson to the rest of you, that just because it’s free doesn’t mean it’s a good idea…..
- Gambling in professional tennis has become more and more of an issue the past few months, with the ATP, the governing body for tennis worldwide, instituting a strict ban on gambling and other associated practices of gambling for players. Suspensions can vary under the policy depending on the severity of the offense, as the two most recent suspensions handed down to players illustrate. Italians Potito Starace and Daniele Bracciali will be officially suspended tomorrow for making bets — some as little as $7 — on tennis matches involving other players. Yeah, it looks like the ATP is serious and strcit on this one, players, so you either want to stop betting on one another’s matches or find a way to be much more discreet about it. Not everyone is a fan of the new policy, including the Italian tennis federation, which denounced the penalties by the governing body as an “injustice,” and the players said they have been made scapegoats. Unfortunately, even if you’re right on this one, Starace and Bracciali, that’s kind of how things work when organizations institute new rules. The like to set an example early on so those governed by the rules know that they’re serious. Starace, ranked 31st in the world, was suspended for six weeks and fined $30,000, the Italian federation said. Bracciali, ranked 258th, was banned for three months and fined $20,000. Both suspensions take effect Jan. 1. The federation said Starace made five bets for a total of $130 two years ago, and Bracciali made about 50 bets of $7 each from 2004-05. That, by the way, is what I call an un-sound investment, betting $150-$350 and losing $20,000-$30,000. I may not be an accountant, but I’m fairly sure that’s a bad return on investment. Memo to ATP players: gambling is a shady, dangerous activity surrounded by a lot of unsavory characters, and your federation doesn’t want you involved with it in any way, shape or form. Find a new hobby, morons.
- Like having a root canal, suffering the excruciating pain and discomfort and being overjoyed once it’s done, such are my feelings about the ending of a serious contender for the worst reality show idea of 2007 and possibly ever – A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila. I’ve been over and over this, so I won't belabor this aspect of it, but starting any premise for a show with a bisexual skank whose primary claim to fame is being on of the most popular people on MySpace is akin to building a house and starting with a foundation of lemon Jell-O. Nonetheless, the good people at MTV plowed ahead with the concept, shoving 32 desperate, attention-starved, freak show idiots (16 men and 16 women) into a house under the premise of competing for the affections of Tequila, only the men and women didn’t know about the presence of the other sex in the house when they first arrived. From there, I don’t know what happened because I made a point of not watching a single minute of this show under any circumstances, but I do know that it’s over and from what I’m told, Tila Tequila picked a desperate, attention-starved male freak show loser over a desperate, attention-starved female freak show loser in the end. Loser A was the winner for the game, Loser B walked away, like every other contestant on this show, including the “winner” with exactly no personal dignity and was apparently quite upset. Not as upset as I’d be if I’d been dumb enough to watch this train wreck of a show, but even so…..let’s just hope that the relationship between Male Loser Contestant and Tila Tequila lasts the normal shelf life of “true love” found via reality TV – about two weeks. Let’s also hope that MTV doesn’t emulate VH1 and it’s loser-reality-love show habit of bringing these abominations of TV programming back for a second season, a la Rock of Love With Bret Michaels……
- Uptight and overbearing, party of one please. The Chinese government clearly has no sense of humor or patience when it comes to people, especially its own citizens, being so bold as so say a few critical words about next summer’s Olympic games in Beijing. One unidentified man had the audacity to post an online commentary stating that next summer’s Olympics would force ordinary Chinese to live “like pigs and dogs” has been detained for nearly a week on a charge of subversion. For a government that supposedly encourages Internet use by citizens for business and education, the Communists, er, Chinese sure do keep a tight rein on anyone who speaks out in opposition to the status quo. Don’t dare disagree with them, because if you do, you’re going to jail. Can anyone tell me why we’re rewarding these backwards, oppressive people with the economic boon that is the Olympics. When The Man comes down this hard on someone for a simple Internet posting, you have to wonder if their record of trampling on basic human rights and freedoms is ever going to change. Welcome to the 2008 Summer Olympics in China, enjoy your stay….just don’t dare have a single disagreeable thought or oppose anything our government says or does or you’ll be detained….indefinitely….
- Since our un-esteemed leader W. held a year-end news conference in which he specifically ripped congressional Democrats for wasting taxpayers’ time and money by delaying passage of a massive governmental spending bill and cramming more than 9,800 special interest projects into the bill, I thought it was only fair to shine a light on W.’s own wastefulness. Let’s see, wasting money on special interest projects versus wasting $500 billion and counting on an abomination of a war that never should have started to begin with….wasting thousands of lives of American military personnel fighting somewhere they never should have been sent versus wasting time passing a bill to finance governmental operations for the next year…maybe my math is fuzzy, W., but it sure looks to me like you’re the one who has been more wasteful here. Just because Congress isn’t rushing to hand you more money to further propagate this despicable war and cement its status as your own personal Vietnam doesn’t make them wasteful. Instead of ordering your budget director to explore ways to remove those special interest projects from this new spending bill, W., why don’t oyu direct someone to find out how to remove American troops from Iraq like, yesterday. So there you go folks, the other side of the story of governmental wastefulness.
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