- You wacky Ron Paul supporters, you crack me up. Like the candidate you so pointlessly espouse, you have little or no connection to reality and no apparent concept of the world around you. You’re nutty, you’re unconventional and I love you guys. You’re constantly pulling stunts like the one you just staged at the Republican state convention in Nevada, where party leaders had to temporarily shut the convention down because of the disturbance caused by some rowdy Paul supporters in attendance. The process of selecting the state’s 31 delegates to the Republican Nationa Convention was suspended and set to be resumed at a different time after the Paul backers convinced a chunk of the convention’s 1,300 delegates to get a rule change positioning them for more national convention delegate slots than expected. That didn’t sit well with the party honchos, so the hiatus was called and those same honchos now have to regroup and figure out how to outwit the offbeat, reality-challenged supporters of a fringe candidate. Great work Nevada, maybe you should just forfeit your delegates to other, smarter states as stick to what your state does best - gambling and hookers.
- If it wasn’t so utterly predictable, this bit of news would be really sad and distressing. Citing what they idiotically view as an "unprecedented state of health" for the worst postseason setup in all of sports, the BCS, ACC commissioner John Swofford and the rest of the ass clowns running college football announced Wednesday that college football will not change the way it determines its national champion as it prepares to begin negotiations for future television contracts that will probably run through the 2014 season. Umm, if by unprecedented state of health you mean that it’s a total debacle on par with the war in Iraq, has a marginal chance of maybe, possibly getting the two best teams in the title game and has more flaws that Rosie O’Donnell’s flabby physique, then yes, I agree. “We will move forward in the next cycle with the current format,” said Swofford, who serves as BCS chairman. “I believe the BCS has never been healthier in its first decade.” That’s like saying a guy who got run over by a truck and has a broken collarbone, concussion, ruptured spleen, torn ligaments in both knees and is in a coma is healthier than he’s been in days because a paper cut he had on his finger healed up. You morons are so self-serving and hypocritical that it makes me nauseous. The only reason you’re sticking with the current format is because it lines your f’ing pockets with loads of cash. If we had guys in their with both brains and actual working testicles, we would get a new system in no time flat. The decision was made during a five-hour meeting of 11 conference commissioners and Notre Dame athletic director Kevin in which the attendees apparently spent four hours and 59 minutes taking bong hits and drawing in coloring books and one minute deciding on the fate of the BCS. The one man in attendance with the juevos to propose something new and closer to the right choice (an 8 or 16-team playoff) was SEC commissioner Mike Slive, who made the plus-one proposal Wednesday morning but said there was little support among the commissioners. Big 12 commissioner Dan Bebee may be campaigning for chief of the idiots based on his comments regarding the discussion, saying that his league's member schools voted in March not to support any changes to college football's postseason. “There's a strong feeling in the Big 12 that what we have is working well,” Bebee said. “There's great satisfaction with the regular season and the postseason.” Well there’s a strong feeling that your conference members have a combined IQ of 17 if they really did vote that way, Beebe, so suck it you spineless piece of crap….
- File this one under über-creepy and disturbing on so many levels that it could literally make you queasy for days on end. Police in Austria finally found a woman who had been missing for 24 years, locating her in the cellar of her father’s house. She had been kept there for more than two decades and forced to have at least six children after being raped by her father. Authorities found the woman after a tip came in about her whereabouts, and than God for whoever phoned in that tip. This is just as revolting a crime as I can imagine, holding your own daughter captive and subjecting her to such violent sexual abuse….what kind of monster do you have to be to do that? With this piece of crap being 73 years old, he needs to spend every last minute of his remaining life in jail. Just a terrible, terrible story all around.
- Welcome in the most disingenuous nomad to ever coach in the world of professional sports, Charlotte Bobcats fans. The well-traveled, opportunistic, dishonest Larry Brown has reached an agreement to return to the NBA as coach of the Charlotte Bobcats. Brown signed a contract on Tuesday and the 67 -year-old Hall of Famer will be taking over his ninth NBA team. That would set a record for the most teams ever coach in any one pro sport by any one mercenary, er, coach. It will also be his first coaching job since a messy exit from the New York Knicks in 2006 after he teamed with the worst GM in the NBA, Isaiah Thomas, to ruin one of the Association’s preeminent franchises. Brown will replace Sam Vincent, fired on Saturday after going 32-50 in his one season. Brown has had success during his career, winning the NBA championship with Detroit in 2004 and the NCAA title with Kansas in 1988. He was inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame in 2002, is one of five NBA coaches with at least 1,000 victories, but he’s also a mercenary who openly campaigns for jobs other coaches already have and bails on teams more frequently than Elizabeth Taylor bails on marriages. He’s coming back because he has some sort of addiction to coaching, but before Bobcats fans get too excited realize that you’re getting this guy for two seasons, three at most, and that’s not nearly enough time to win an NBA title or even make your sorry squad into one of the top 3-4 teams in the Eastern Conference. Brown is a bigger mercenary than the Hessians and probably would have joined them during the Revolutionary War if they’d had a coaching vacancy.
- I think you all know by now where I stand both on social dissidence and specifically on demonstrations involving the Olympic torch as it makes it way to Beijing, a.k.a. Human Rights Violation Central: I’m for both in a big way. That being said, the happenings surrounding the torch as it made its way through Seoul, South Korea this week were maybe, possibly just a tad over the top. While I fully support anyone wishing to make a statement against the world’s biggest and most frequent violator of human rights and to do so through attacking the Olympic torch, but turning yourself into a human torch to protest the passing of the torch through your city, maybe a tad over the top. Chinese students in Seoul were out in force to greet the torch as it continued its trek to Beijing, throwing rocks and punches at police and creating a nice uprising to continue the torch’s eventful trip around the world. The insane self-igniter was a North Korean defector who attempted to set himself on fire to halt the torch relay, a tactic that for some odd reason did not work. Memo to all current or would-be social dissidents out there: Do not set yourself on fire. It is by far the worst riot idea. Set cars on fire (especially police cars), set buildings on fire, couches, torches, etc., but do not set fire to yourself. I don’t know if you know this, but you really can't come back from burning yourself up. If the fire gets going and consumes you, you’ll die. You are not a human tiki torch, so don’t try to act like one. Clearly this was not a well-trained rioter and it pains me to see uneducated, uninformed rioters make fools of themselves like this. Let’s just move on before this gets depressing….
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