- What’s the price of fighting against oppression, fighting for freedom and standing up against the worst country in the world when it comes to violating human rights? The answer appears to be a jail sentence somewhere between three years to life. That lesson was learned this week by 30 people, including sic Buddhist monks, who had the audacity to take part in violent anti-Chinese riots in Tibet as Tibetans struggled to throw off the oppressive weight of Chinese rule in their country. These sentences could be a huge influence on how dissidents are dealt with in this revolution, as they are the first meted out to individuals who took part in assaulting, burning, looting and vandalizing (four of my very favorite things of all-time) Han Chinese and their businesses in Tibet’s capital city of Lhasa between March 14-16. Yeah, because that’s a great reason to put someone in prison for life, because they had the testicular fortitude to stand up to your overbearing, oppressive regime. Good one, Chinese courts! Keep reacting this way and you’ll shed that nasty rep as a disregarder and trampler of basic human rights and freedoms in no time….or not…..
- A more perfect marriage of entities that are steadily helping to poison and ruin music could not be made in a million years. The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame has become an absolute farce by inducting totally un-rock artists like the Material Skank, Madonna, showing that the only thing rock n’ roll about the place is its name. On the other hand, American Karaoke has done its own significant share of damage by collecting hack karaoke-ers, having them sing wretched renditions of song that generally sucked to begin with or ruining songs that were previously good and giving these losers and the three idiots who are the show’s “judges” the idea that they actually matter. So the announcement that next week’s AK theme will be “music from the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame” could not be more appropriate. (They could save themselves some time and just term every week on the show “karaoke singers show totally blow giving lame performances of typically abysmal songs while egotistical, pompous, self-serving fake judges offer caustic and/or marginally insane and incoherent observations, just saying.) The songs will allegedly come from a list of the “500 Songs that Shaped Rock Music,” so the remaining karaoke singers on the show may have a chance to mangle and pummel some truly legendary songs, maybe even an AC/DC classic or two. This could be the week that the music really does die, or perhaps suffers a serious head trauma, bleeding in the ears and failure of internal organs due to inept, musically un-talented losers wrecking great rock songs.
- Oh, isn’t this just poetic irony at its best….a reading program initiated by a president who has more trouble with that very activity than most first graders is being called a failure. The Reading First program was started by our own Idiot in Chief W., which in and of itself is a problem. You don’t want Rosie O’Donnell starting a nutrition program for kids, you don’t allow Michael Jackson anywhere near kids, you don’t let Heidi Montag to teach your kids how to sing and you most definitely do not allow a borderline illiterate like W. to found a program that helps kids learn how to read. Even if he’s not involved in the day-to-day operations, it’s still bad karma by association. In its short time in existence, the program has been plagued by conflicts of interest, budget difficulties and now by the fact that the U.S. Department of Education says it is no more effective at combating illiteracy among children than programs that were already in place. Studies showed no difference in reading comprehension scores between children who took part in Reading First and those that didn’t. Congress recently cut funding to the program, so this news isn’t exactly going to help convince them that they were wrong to do so. It’s a key part of W.’s No Child Left Behind law, which was supposed to revolutionize the educational system in this country. Either that or offer up more of the same status quo bullsh*t that we’ve had before now. This is just another failure to add to a growing litany of them for the worst president in the history of civilization as he prepares to leave office later this year. But don’t worry, I’m sure he’ll add several more abject failures to his list of accomplishments before exiting stage left….
- Keep trying to pretend like you’re a real sport, horse racing. Last time I checked, true sports don’t have the overwhelming majority of their power, speed and energy provided by an animal. Sports are played by humans, and no, some midget riding on the horsie’s back and whipping him around a big oval doesn’t constitute playing. And oh yeah, I don’t remember any sport other than yours having one of its competitors euthanized on the field of play right after a race. But that’s just what happened at the 134th Kentucky Derby on Saturday, with filly Eight Belles fracturing both ankles, falling to the track and being euthanized on the spot after finishing second in the race. Nice ending, horse racing. Can’t say as I remember Olympic sprinter Michael Johnson pulling up lame after the 400 meter event and being humanely killed on the spot. Don’t recall marathon legend Haile Gebrselassie of Ethiopia breaking his ankles in a race and having to be put down at the finish line. What an awesome image and a great testament to the pageantry and majesty of your “sport.” Gotta love the rich people in ugly pastel outfits, women in butt-ugly hats and $1,000 mint juleps too. Let me help you out here, horse racing. Until the horses are riding on the backs of the humans or the humans are racing the horses around the track, it’s not a sport. It’s also not cool to have a competition where one of the competitors is humanely killed right on the track following the race. So just stop pretending that you’re a sport and just go away…..
- No “Album to Avoid” this week, just a great album that came out back on April 22 that I’ve been listening to regularly ever since I got it. The new disc from Tokyo Police club is called Elephant Shell, and it’s a fantastic album. This is a funky, fast-paced alt/punk album with an unorthodox style, smart lyrics and outstanding vocals all the way through. There’s also some great guitar distortion and a few spots where the guys manage to include a little keyboard action, something I’m usually not down with but enjoyed this time. Songs like the album’s lead track, “Centennial” give off a certain Death Cab for Cutie vibe, just more upbeat. The album’s fourth song, “Juno,” gets started with a catchy percussion sequence that sets the pace for a fast, radio-friendly tune. Another great track, “Your English is Good,” carries a message of not needing to change who you are in order to satisfy your critics. It’s a fantastic album from start to finish, a diverse range of sounds and some great lyrics as well, almost enough to make your forget all about needing a bad album to rip, one for me to tell you to avoid at all costs….aww, who am I kidding? I do have an “Album to Avoid” and it comes from an all-timer in this category, someone who has produced literally dozens of unlistenable albums that have been so bad the mere mention of them makes me ill. Yes, it’s the Material Skank herself, Madonna, back with a new album where in she once again tries to reinvent herself into a new genre while forgetting that no matter what genre she goes with, she still sucks. She’s tried dance, pop, techno…and now, hip-hop. Yup, a woman who is about as ghetto as milk and cookies is bringing her suckiness to a new musical world and I for one could not be less excited. The M.S. recruits hip-hop producers Pharrell and Timbaland (who will apparently whore himself out to any artist, no matter how much they blow, as long as they pay enough - seriously, Nelly Furtado, Justin Timberlake, Madonna, what hack won't this guy produce for?) to try and help her establish some rap cred, an attempt that bombs out miserably. The result is Hard Candy, an album even less appealing than that damn rock candy it takes its name after, a candy that nearly breaks all of your teeth and still manages to be more satiable than this terrible album. Songs like “Give It To Me” are the type of raunchy, garbage tracks you’ve come to expect from the Material Skank. Adding to the atrocious train wreck of an album is the M.S.’s attempt to incorporate another wreteched musical genre inot the mix, possibly the most horrifically bad genre of all-time: disco. That attempt comes on Beat Goes On, a really bad homage to Donna Summer. Yes, this is an ”Album to Avoid” for the ages, a true pantheon album that isn’t worth the cheap paper used for the liner notes…..
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