- No bueno, would-be Spanish drug smugglers. Your attempts
to smuggle a massive stash of hash into España crashed and burned after police
have arrested three people on suspicion of smuggling drugs into the country in
broad daylight by landing speedboats on beaches that are often packed with
gawking tourists and weekend sunbathers. On the surface, this might be one of
the most moronic smuggling attempts ever based simply on its location and the
time of day at which it occurred. According to the Spanish Interior Ministry, a
516-pound stash of hashish was seized along with the boat. A ministry statement
said the boat's two-man crew was observed unloading their cache of hash(e) among
beachgoers along the coast in the Mediterranean city of Malaga. Maybe the smugglers
thought that among the topless sunbathers and people trying to avoid the sight
of the topless sunbathers because no one you would ever want to see topless
ever sunbathes on a nude beach, their drug unloading process would simply go
unnoticed. Perhaps they figured that if they picked the right section of la
playa, they would run into a very liberal bunch of beach goers who simply would
not care what they were up to. Sadly, these fools were wrong on both counts and
the crew were arrested, followed by the boat owner a few hours later. According
to local police, the investigation began when police agents were informed by
citizens that people could often be seen brazenly landing boatloads of
suspicious packages on the popular beach of Piedra Paloma during weekends. They
staked out the beach and from there, it was mere a matter of time and
patience………
- Central
Florida football coach George O'Leary, welcome to the club. You know, the
club of people who got a little too fired up, didn’t have the wherewithal or
mental acuity to process and state their opinion in non-offensive fashion and
ended up using one of the truly regrettable analogies that no one should use
for any reason, ever. O’Leary is already a charter member of another
undesirable club, the one comprised of those in college and professional sports
who lie on their résumés or biographies and lost a job because of it, but his
most recent blunder was slightly different. The UCF coach is angry about a
bogus threat from the SEC and other power conferences in college football
threatening to break apart from the rest of Division I and form their own
governing associations if they aren't granted autonomy by the NCAA. The Power
Five conferences, led by SEC commissioner Mike Slive's threat of forming a
"Division IV" if the league -- along with the ACC, Big 12, Big Ten
and the Pac-12 -- don't get the flexibility needed to create their own bylaws,
are now threatening to hold a gun to the head of the NCAA and lesser
conferences and as a member of one of those conferences – Conference USA –
O’Leary is reaching for the most potent analogy possible. “They sound like the
South during the Civil War," O'Leary said. "If they don't get their
way, they're going to secede and start their own country. ... I think college
football is in real trouble." Sadly, O’Leary actually does have a point. Smaller
Division I schools likely can't afford the changes that the SEC and the major
conferences are seeking and while Division II and III football have their own
rules, the proposed Division IV would be a different entity entirely. "They're
trying to go the other way and create an even wider gap between the haves and
have-nots," O'Leary added. "I think some of these schools have
forgotten where they came from." For now, this all amounts to the SEC
exerting its prototypical SEC arrogance and trying to push everyone else
around, but that arrogance isn’t going away or lowering the volume of its voice
any time soon………..
- It’s tough to see how this one went awry. Burlington, Vt.
was the scene late last week as t he Burlington Police Department
responded to a report of a gun being discharged into an adjacent apartment
located on Maple Street. At this point in the tale, with police responding to a
call of some kook who doesn’t know how to handle a gun accidentally squeezing
off a ground into the ceiling of his humble abode, the odds that the person on
the business end of the gun is an individual of his intelligence and sober mind
are not lofty. Sure enough, police arrived on the scene and found Alexander
Hogan, 23, in a less-than-cogent state. According to the police report, the incident
happened at around 11:45 p.m., when Hogan was cleaning his 9mm handgun inside
his living room of his first floor apartment. At some point in the process,
this Mensa member pointed the gun toward the ceiling and managed to
accidentally fire off a round, when then traveled through the floor and into
the ceiling of the apartment directly above Hogan's apartment. Amazingly, when
police searched Hogan’s place, they found an ounce of marijuana, a marijuana
plant and other drug paraphernalia. What are the odds that someone who
accidentally discharges a gun in an occupied apartment building is either high,
about to get high or trying to set up a deal to sell his latest product so
someone else can get high. Hogan was charged with reckless endangerment and
possession of marijuana, but the good news in all of this is that no one was
injured. Oh, and there is currently one less moron walking free on the streets
of Burlington, so there is also that……….
- Friendless losers, you are one step closer to steely,
automated companionship. Japanese
technology firm Softbank is on the case and has unveiled a new gadget for
socially awkward losers with too much disposable cash and no discernable
conversation skills. This creation is Pepper and Softbank is billing it as “the
world’s first robot with a heart” – clearly, Rosey the robot maid from “The
Jetsons” was not even considered in this debate. Pepper is capable of
recognizing and analyzing gestures, facial expressions and even changes in
vocal tone thanks to an artificial intelligence program, or “emotional engine,”
according to its makers. According to the good folks at Softbank, users would
be able to communicate with this artificial object just like they do with the
family that is ashamed of them and the friends they don’t actually have and
better still, the robot will actually be able to perform certain tasks. "People
describe others as being robots because they have no emotions, no heart,” said
Softbank CEO Masayoshi Son. “"For the first time in human history, we're
giving a robot a heart, emotions." Pepper is also being promoted for its
ability to perform certain everyday tasks and Softbank hopes it could
eventually become an alternative way to care for Japan’s rapidly aging
population. The price tag for Pepper is massive, in excess of $1,900 to be
specific, and trial version are on display at two stores in Japan until the
overpriced robots go on sale next year. Softbank developed Pepper with help
from French company Aldebaran Robotics. Bruno Maisonnier, founder and chief
executive of Aldebara, did his best to drum up hype. "The emotional robot
will create a new dimension in our lives and new ways of interacting with technology,”
Maisonnier said. "It's just the beginning, but already a promising
reality." Whatever you say, Bruno………
- Movie fans did not find much fault in “The
Fault in Our Stars,” sending the critically acclaimed, modestly priced drama
based on the book of the same name to a resounding victory in its debut
weekend. The film was made for $12 million and more than quadrupled that with
$48.2 million, outpacing reigning box office champion “Maleficent,” which fell
to second place but added $33.5 million to its coffers for a two-week domestic
take of $127.3 million. Tom Cruise’s latest, the dystopian future epic “Edge of
Tomorrow,” debuted in third place with a disappointing $29.1 million –
disappointing because this bloated drama cost a whopping $178 million to make. “X-Men:
Days of Future Past” continued to be a solid earner with $14.7 million for the
weekend and has now banked $189.1 million domestically in three weeks of
release. “A Million Ways to Die in the West” continued to die a slow cinematic
death, adding a mere $7.1 million to raise its meager two-week bank roll to $30
million and change. “Godzilla” hung in the top 10 for another weekend as it
added $6 million to raise its domestic earnings for its first month to $185
million. “Neighbors” kept chugging along in its fifth weekend, earning an
additional $5.2 million to make its overall haul $137.8 million thus far. “Blended”
continued to disappoint with $4 million and has managed just $36.5 million in
three uneventful weeks. “Chef” added 674 theaters, remained in limited release
and yet, managed to snag ninth place with $2.7 million. That gives the indie favorite
$10.4 million domestically in its first five weeks. “Million Dollar Arm” locked
down the top 10’s final spot with $1.8 million and has inched all the way up to
$31.4 million in total earnings. “The Other Woman” (No. 13) finally lost its
spot in the top 10 after six weeks……….
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