- Scott Love is a loser. This may seem like a sweeping
generalization to make without actually meeting or even speaking to a person
and crueler still when it is applied to a man whose surname is Love, but just
roll with it because that generalization is about to have the sh*t verified
right out of it. Love had a day off this weekend, like many Americans. Unlike
every other American, he decided to spend his free time combining the
dork-tastic loser-dom of a Comic-Con attendee with the annoying lurking tendencies
of the creeps who stand on sidewalks twirling signs and wearing sandwich boards
advertising mattress sales and tax preparations services. That’s right, Love
dressed up as a comic book character and grabbed a homemade sign so he could
spend an entire day out at the intersection of Northampton Boulevard and Baker Road in
Virginia Beach, Va. protesting against the plethora of potholes lining the city’s
streets. He dressed as Spider-Man in the name of pothole prevention and sported
a pair of signs that he alternated as a way to annoy the hell out of passing
motorists with the actual intent of getting them to speak up and demand
accountability from the city in fixing up its roads. . One read, “Good beaches,
great food, awesome potholes.” Another said, “Say no to potholes” with a number
to call the city pothole line. Love has been waging his war against caverns
carved in asphalt by winter weather for months and said he has called the
pothole line and spoken to various city employees for months, but to no avail.
Obviously, dressing like a superhero and making a fool of himself in public
will get the job done where other tactics have failed………
- It must be spring if Southeastern Conference football
players are lighting up the police scanners of law enforcement agencies in the
southeastern United States. Sure enough, the calendar affirms this fact and so
does the misogynistic case of LSU
starting safety Jalen Mills, who has been suspended indefinitely by the team
after he was arrested early Wednesday on a second-degree battery charge
for allegedly punching a woman in the mouth. Yes, the ol’ “I went Floyd
Mayweather on a woman’s face because she made me mad and because I can” line of
logic is in play here, according to a probable cause documents stating that a
woman says Mills punched her in the mouth on May 4 in his apartment. According
to the woman, she tumbled to the ground following the jab to the jaw and was
briefly knocked unconscious. Police contacted Mills on May 29 – reporting alleged
domestic assaults can take time, yo – and he told them he was in Houston and
would return to Baton Rouge on June 9, the first day of summer school and
football workouts. Because it is clearly possible to dictate the pace of
justice in Baton Rouge, a June 10 appointment was set for Mills to meet with
the police. Amazingly, given his obvious state of responsibility and good
citizenship, Mills did not show up for the meeting and police were unable to
reach him by phone. Thus, a warrant for his arrest was issued. Mills was
finally apprehended and was held on a $7,000 bond. He was also prohibited from
contacting the victim, much like he has been prohibited from making contact
with the playing field at LSU for the time being. Mills had three interceptions
last season as a sophomore and was third on the team with 67 tackles. Past
crimes by SEC players would suggest that Mills will suffer a truly painful
suspension costing him two quarters of the team’s first game against a wholly
overmatched non-league foe, then return to the field as if nothing happened……….
- Venezuela might be looking to prosecute and possibly
execute a trio of dissidents wanted for questioning in an alleged plot to assassinate
President Nicolas Maduro, but the rest of the world should be taking a
different stance on the situation. Venezuela's attorney general has ordered the
arrests of these three brave difference-makers, claiming that they and other
such groups are seeking to destabilize Venezuela's socialist government and
have formed "violent political plans" against Maduro and other
high-ranking officials. Such allegations appear to be complete bullsh*t
fabricated by The Man to facilitate a continued campaign of oppression and
silencing those who dare to disagree, which is why the rest of the world should
seize the opportunity in front of it. Where Venezuela sees arrest warrants for Diego
Arria, a former presidential candidate and United Nations ambassador; Pedro
Burelli, former external director of the state oil company Petroleos de
Venezuela; and Ricardo Koesling, a lawyer who has been a strong critic of the
Maduro administration, the rest of te world should see a chance to enable the
clearly present undercurrent of opposition that is willing to (allegedly) go to
deadly lengths to rid its country of a heinous and repressive leader who is the
handpicked successor of deceased despot Hugo Chavez. That’s not to say a
state-sponsored assassination of a foreign president should happen because that
sort of allegation could launch a world war under the wrong circumstances. It’s
merely to say that if a giant suitcase of some random foreign currency were to
fall off a banana truck in Venezuela shortly after some extremist nut job
happened to do away with Maduro, that would be one hell of a coincidence……….
- Sir Mix-a-Lot likes big woodwind instruments and he cannot
lie; you other brothers can’t deny that when a big, round bass cello shows up
on stage you get….never mind. The point is that the man behind the iconic ‘80s
song “Baby’s Got Back,” an amazing ode to the power of women’s posteriors, has
finally made it to a place it should have arrived long ago. Sir Mix-a-Lot,
a.k.a. Anthony Ray, made his debut with the Seattle Symphony and conducted a
version of his lone hit. He turned the performance into a giant onstage party
as dozens of women from the audience took him up on his offer to be a part of a
new orchestral arrangement of "Baby's Got Back." "Something you really should not do,
but since tonight is orchestral movements from the hood night, I'm going to
leave some of this open if a couple of ladies would like to get up on the stage,"
Ray told the crowd. His appearance at Benaroya Hall came about as part of the
Seattle Symphony's Sonic Evolution series, which commissions new orchestral
work inspired by Seattle's music icons. One would guess that Macklemore is on
the to-get list for the series and an orchestral version of “Thrift Shop” could
be fairly compelling under the right circumstances. Gabriel Prokofiev, a
London-based composer, DJ and producer orchestrated "Baby Got Back"
as well as the 1988 track "Posse on Broadway." "My aim with this
new Sir-Mix-A-Lot inspired Orchestral work was to really get inside the musical
mind of Sir Mix-A-Lot; to understand how his rhythms, textures, sounds and harmonies
worked, and to create a contemporary orchestral composition that was true to
the music of Sir-Mix-A-Lot," Prokofiev wrote in a blog post about the
performance. The conductor went to great lengths to recreate Sir Mix-a-Lot's
electronic arrangements using an orchestra, including "an acoustic
'Scratcher' (made by scratching a credit card against a metal guiro), a
'jackdaw' (a friction drum that creates a frog like noise), bunches of bamboo
cracking against the sides of drums and various drums laden with chains and
cymbals to create distorted drum and clap effects." The orchestra may
never be the same……….
- Lame analogies about not needing to buy the cow when the
milk is free aside, there apparently is truth to the idea that men and women
cohabitating before marrying is a bad idea for one half of the relationship. According
to a new study from the U.S. National
Center for Health Statistics (NCHS), dudes who either stay single or get
married rather than move in with a lady they aren't married to gain significant
health benefits from their decision. Researchers found that men who are single
or married are more likely to visit their doctor on a regular basis than those
men who are living with a partner, but not married. This may not make sense on
the surface, but stick with it. The benefits didn’t carry over to women, so
like many other aspects of relationships, this appears to be a one-way street.
The research team studied people from all three groups - married, single and
cohabiting – and found that men who are living unwed with their partner are the
least likely to have had preventative medicine screenings in the past year such
as blood or cholesterol tests. That suggests live-in girlfriends tend not to
give a damn about their partner’s health, and these findings apply to both
older and younger men. “Cohabiting men are a group particularly at risk of not
receiving clinical preventive services recommended by the U.S. Preventive
Services Task Force,” study author Stephen Blumberg wrote in his findings. Blumberg
admitted that the results came as a surprise and added that he and his fellow
researchers aren’t sure of the reasons for them. He did point out that the
findings indicate those who are living with a man out-of-wedlock may need to
take a more active role in helping their partner make health care decisions,
which seems obvious but is clearly anything but………
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