Tuesday, June 03, 2014

Marathon grandmas, MySpace is still lame and Phil Jackson is ignorant


- Threat disposed of and chron utopia protected. Check and check Uruguay. Thanks to the electoral savvy of a majority of Uruguayan voters, the biggest threat to the country’s new legal marijuana market has lost his party's presidential primary. Sen. Jorge Larranaga seemed like a strong candidate to represent the National Party this year, but clearly the many stoner voters around the country learned of his strong opposition to the new ganja law, which puts the ruling Broad Front government at the center of a regulated marijuana industry, and acted accordingly. Really, this is all on Larranaga for opposing a logical measure that aims to defeat organized crime by producing cheaper, better, legal dank and selling it in pharmacies to registered adults – who then pass it along to anyone with spare cash. "We are going to overturn this law that legalized marijuana growing. Nobody plant anything! Don't plant anything because we're going to knock it down," Larranaga proclaimed ahead of Sunday's primary. Don’t plant anything? Dude, why are you so angry and why are you screaming? You know what you could smoke that would help you calm down? Thankfully, the other leading candidates to succeed President Jose Mujica in October are on the record favoring the legal cultivation and purchase of marijuana for personal use. Larranaga’s loss was congressman Luis Lacalle Pou’s gain and Pou is smart enough to support home-grown marijuana and keeping much of the law as is. Analysts believe the vote is a sign that voters are slanting in favor of the government’s pot program and the favorite for October’s main election is former President Tabare Vazquez, who won the center-left Broad Front's primary Sunday and supports the new law. Either way, it looks like legalize hippie lettuce is on solid footing in a forward-thinking South American nation……..


- Oscar winner Lupita Nyong'o is on a roll. She snagged her coveted Academy Award for her role in “12 Years A Slave” and now, that success has taken her to a galaxy far, far away. Yes, Nyong'o has scored a role in “Star Wars: Episode VII,” which recently began shooting at London's Pinewood studios ahead of a December 2015 release. Nyong'o joins fellow newcomer Gwendoline Christie, best know for her role as Brienne of Tarth in Game of Thrones.” "I could not be more excited about Lupita and Gwendoline joining the cast of Episode VII," says Lucasfilm president Kathleen Kennedy in a statement. “It's thrilling to see this extraordinarily talented ensemble taking shape." The ensemble cast to which Kennedy referred includes several returnees from the first three films in the Star Wars franchise, including original stars Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher and Mark Hamill. In addition to Nyong'o and Christie, other additions to the outer space family include Adam Driver, Andy Serkis and Oscar Isaac. In addition to winning an Oscar and being selected as the next pretty face to be permanently emblazoned in the minds – and on posters pinned to the walls of – basement-dwelling dorks around the globe, Nyong'o was also named People magazine’s most beautiful person in the world, which might not be the sort of esteemed honor a respect actor is looking for, but a framed cover of the magazine alongside an Oscar and a signed contract to become a member of the Star Wars universe makes for a fearsome trio………


- He didn’t know….seriously. New York Knicks president Phil Jackson is new to the job and he’s never been a team executive in the NBA before, so the league really needs to lighten up on the man often known as the Zen Master. Jackson might not be so Zen right now, not after he was fined $25,000 by the NBA for tampering with Oklahoma City Thunder guard Derek Fisher. Since taking over the Knicks and firing their entire coaching staff following a terrible 2013-14 season well short of the playoffs, Jackson has been on the hunt for a new head coach. He has flirted with, talked about or even inquired about virtually every human being who a) played for him when he coached, b) still has a pulse and c) isn't currently incarcerated or committed to an insane asylum. His top candidate, Steve Kerr, turned him down to take the same position with the Golden State Warriors. That left Jackson with a hole to fill and very few candidates who meet his desired qualities of knowing the system (the triangle) he likes to run and having been tied to Jackson during his career. One possible choice is the reason Jackson is digging loose change from the storage big on his Harley and chipping off $25,000 to a charitable organization. Fisher played this season (as long as you have a very loose definition of playing) for the Thunder and delivered little in terms of pushing the team forward. If anything, he was über-slow and clearly a year or two past when he should have stopped playing. His basketball IQ is high and he is widely viewed as a guy who could walk off the court as a player and right into a head coaching job, a la Brooklyn Nets coach Jason Kidd. However, talking about a player under contract with another team for any reason is enough for the NBA to administer a modest fine and thus, Jackson was dinged for $25,000 for statements he made at a news conference last week about possibly hiring Fisher as Knicks coach. The league said in a statement that the fine was assessed to reinforce its annual reminders to teams of the league's anti-tampering rules, which prohibit teams from direct or indirect expressions of interest in other teams' impending free agents. Jackson could feign ignorance, but one suspects he’ll treat the fine with the same utter contempt and condescension with which he treats most situations where someone tries to check him…….


- Wait….MySpace still exists? This is allegedly true and it reportedly could come back to haunt anyone unfortunate enough to have past ties to the long-forgotten social media site. An email sent over the weekend to thousands of former MySpace users featured the terrifying headline, “Your Photos are Back!" According to MySpace, it still possesses 15 billion pictures, amongst which users can find "the good, the rad and the what were you thinking.” Anyone who wasn’t alive and old enough to use a computer in the mid-‘90s may not remember that MySpace was once popular, but it quickly faded once Facebook debuted and claimed the social media throne for a time. Purchases by former man-bander Justin Timberlake, it rebooted in 2013 as a site that focused on music and artists with streaming services, industry news and ways for fans to connect. That overhaul has failed to turn the site into anything more than the forgotten technological relic of the past that it has become and in October, MySpace claimed it had 31 million monthly users, ranking it light years behind Facebook's 1.28 billion infant photo-oversharing parents and grandparents. If someone is lame enough to log on to their old MySpace account, they can indeed find all of those old photos, but any comments and private messages they once received are long gone. According to a company spokesman, the site is reaching out to past users and attempting to “re-engage them through a personalized experience."  Sadly, this personalized experience hasn’t generated much public juice for MySpace and the $35 million Timberlake invested to buy the site is looking like his worst investment choice since the money spent to man-perm his hair back in his N-Sync days……….


- Give it up for the old timers. Specifically, make noise for 91-year-old Harriette Thompson, who kicked all kinds of ass and dominated the course Sunday at the Rock ‘N’ Roll San Diego Marathon. Thompson not only  laced up her kicks and took to the course with thousands of other runners, but she also elbowed her way past the crowd and made her way into the record books by completing her 26.2 miles in 7:17:14. That time may not have earned her the big prize money handed out to the elite runners, but it did make Thompson the oldest person to complete the marathon and set a world record for the fastest marathon time for her age group. But wait….there’s more. Not only did this woman do at the age of 91 what many people one-quarter her age are too lazy and not dedicated enough to do, she made her comeback in a race she has run before after missing the event last year due to being diagnosed with skin cancer. That’s right, she is 91 years old, a skin cancer survivor who is still receiving treatment and yet she is tough enough and committed enough to train for and complete a full marathon – that she flew across the United States from North Carolina to California to take part in. In light of her own cancer diagnosis, Thompson has raised $90,000 for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. “I think the fact that I have so many friends and family and if I can help at all by raising funds, then it’s worth it and also its beneficial to me health wise,” Thompson said. To help keep herself in shape and in a good state of mind, this grandmother of 10 is also a yoga enthusiast and quite frankly, the most badass grandma around……..

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