Saturday, June 14, 2014

Jersey Shore steel walls, NASCAR driver hijinks and down goes Harrison Ford


- The World Cup is barely underway, but Gabriel Herrera’s work is in full swing. Who is Gabriel Herrera, you ask? He would be the man in charge of the Argentine embassy’s legal and consular section in Rio de Janeiro and for the next few weeks, he’ll be working out of a van…down by the beach. Specifically, he’s doing his business out of a blue and white van parked along Rio's famed Copacabana Beach. He is there to assist Argentines in Brazil who have a beer or six too many and lose their passport while cheering their soccer team on to glory. Much like the Australian government sets up a temporary embassy in Munich every fall to assist drunken Aussies who get kerslammered and lose their ID during Oktoberfest, Herrera will be there to assist some 50,000 of his countrymen. His duties will include assisting with lost passports and stolen phones, but could also mean dealing with members of Argentina's infamous hooligan gangs — known in Spanish as "Barras Bravas" — if they somehow find their way to Brazil. "We are expecting the worst, and hoping for the best,” Herrera said. Putting Argentinean and Brazilian fans in such close proximity is usually a bad idea for the geographic rivals and it is expected that Argentine visitors could top 100,000 for the last match in Group F on June 25 against Nigeria in the southern city of Porto Alegre, just a short drive from Argentina. "Having only easy problems would be good," Herrera said. "People have been walking by asking for tickets, which we don't have. So far, that is probably the top request." Fortunately for all involved, the only way the two nations could meet on the field is in the final and that is an extremely unlikely outcome. Argentina has some of the world’s most notorious soccer hooligans, so the sooner their team is eliminated and they can stage their inevitable riot in response, the more peaceful the rest of the tournament will be………


- It takes a bold man to rock the last name Musk and Tesla Motors CEO Elon Musk is proving he has the kahones to do so. Musk announced Thursday that Tesla is making its vast array of technology patents available to the public for free as part of a daring initiative to spur development of electric vehicles in the face of climate change – oh, and create business for itself by increasing demand for its own batteries. Musk explained in a blog post that Tesla has removed framed patents from the wall at the company's Palo Alto headquarters in order to propel the "open source" movement. Simply put, the company will not initiate patent suits against "anyone who, in good faith, wants to use our technology." Going forward, Musk said, the company plans to apply for patents only to protect itself from being hampered by patents taken out by others for the same technology. "Tesla Motors was created to accelerate the advent of sustainable transport," Musk wrote. "If we clear a path to the creation of compelling electric vehicles, but then lay intellectual property land mines behind us to inhibit others, we are acting in a manner contrary to that goal." Tesla’s all-electric Model S sedan and in-development crossover SUV still haven’t gained mainstream acceptance, but the company plans to break ground this month on a "gigafactory" for batteries for electric vehicles and stationary energy storage products for homes, commercial businesses and utilities. As of the end of 2013, Tesla owned 203 patents and had more than 280 patent applications pending with the United States Patent and Trademark Office and internationally. Musk added that it is “impossible for Tesla to build electric cars fast enough to address the carbon crisis,” thus the decision to open the doors to more parties. Previously, the CEO has lamented the puny portion of overall auto production comprised by electric cars – less than 1 percent of the 100 million vehicles sold each year – and perhaps if more automakers join the party, such vehicles could actually become more affordable to the common man………


- This is just depressing. If there was any sure sign that it’s not 1984 any longer and that the Hollywood icons of yesteryear have aged out and should be put out to pasture, this is it. Well, assuming every “Expendables” movie ever made wasn’t enough of a sign. Harrison Ford boldly removed his tacky earring and agreed to be a part of the cast for the reincarnation of “Star Wars,” jumping on board even with George Lucas gone. That was a bold decision made for a big payday and yet, it is Ford who is paying dearly right about now and causing every fan of his best films to feel really old and really dated by comparison. Ford broke his ankle on a garage door and required medical care at a hospital near to the Pinewood Studios in London, where the film is being shot with director JJ Abrams. There is nothing more old-person-ish than snapping your ankle doing something that would almost never injure a younger person and although a spokesperson for Lucasfilm said filming on the title will continue while Ford recovers, having a star hopping around on crutches tends to be bad for business. "Harrison Ford sustained an ankle injury during filming today on the set of Star Wars: Episode VII. He was taken to a local hospital and is receiving care. Shooting will continue as planned while he recuperates,” Lucasfilm said in a statement. The injury reportedly occurred when a door fell unexpectedly, but there’s no way Ford going down like a past-his-prime baller playing 5-on-5 at the local YMCA isn't depressing, Injury not withstanding, the eagerly-anticipated sequel is due for release in December 2015 and it will be the seventh installment of the iconic dork-friendly franchise………


- Auto racing is still not a sport. That doesn’t mean it can't be funny and entertain the masses; it merely means that you cannot consider its drivers to be athletes because they don’t play an actual sport. But even so, the hijinks between Dale Earnhardt Jr. and his pal Ryan Newman are hilarious and should be enjoyed by one and all. Earnhardt and Newman were in a place so many of us have been and their lack of communication led to a brain far that has befallen every band of bros at one point or another. The NASCAR driving amigos were traveling to Michigan for this weekend’s NASCAR Spring Cup Series event at Michigan International Speedway. Thinking like an environmentally responsible person who doesn’t have to pay for his gas anyhow, Newman had arranged to hitch a ride to the track with Earnhardt. Then, in a scene so many people have endured because they have a friend who goes brain-dead at the worst possible time, Newman realized that his plan to fly with Earnhardt to Michigan for this weekend's event, leaving at 8:30 a.m., had gone horribly wrong. Earnhardt took off, made it to Michigan and zipped over to the track without ever realizing Newman wasn’t with him. Earnhardt told reporters upon arrival at the track that it totally slipped his mind after his schedule was moved up 30 minutes for media commitments and that he just woke up, grabbed his bags and drove to the airport for departure without thinking about who should be with him. "I didn't know about (the change). I didn't look at my calendar and when I got up this morning, I didn't look at the clock -- I just got in the shower, went downstairs, got in the car and drove to the airport and got in the plane," Earnhardt said. "I forgot about Ryan." That always makes a person feel good when a pal just forgets they were supposed to be around. “Weekend started off on wrong foot. Left @RyanJNewman at the airport. Forgot he was riding with us. Imma pay for this one,” Earnhardt later tweeted. “I'm hoping and praying that the reason @RyanJNewman isn't responding to my text are because he is at 40,000 feet. Please be at 40,000 feet.” When Newman finally arrived at the airport, he found no Earnhardt and no plane. His wife confirmed to Earnhardt that he found an alternate flight and made it to the track in time……….


- In a long-overdue move, a four-mile steel wall is going up along the Jersey Shore beachfront. The powers that be have finally seen the wisdom of protecting the world from the GTL-ing meatheads who…. wait…. The wall is actually a massive project to be undertaken by the New Jersey Department of Environmental Protection to keep residents safe from storms like Hurricane Sandy? Honestly, protecting the rest of society from the “Jersey Shore” set seems like a wiser use of money, but the wall will be constructed for different reasons and placed on the beach through Mantoloking and Brick. Crews will begin work in a few days, drilling into the ground the anchor the first steel sheets on Herbert Street in Mantoloking, according to Doug Popaca of the Mantoloking Office of Emergency Management. Eventually, the wall will rise along a 12-foot dune in the two municipalities, which were both devastated by Sandy. “We lost 200 houses that either were destroyed the first day of the storm, or had to be torn down,” Popaca said in explaining why emergency management officials a tall, corrugated steel wall is warranted to protect residents. When the wall is finished, it will stand alongside the existing dune and extending some 16 feet above sea level. To make it less of an eyesore, it will be covered with sand and despite reaching 22 feet high, it will be completely obscured from view. The one sour note is that the wall will block the views of the first floors of most homes.. Then again, a blocked view is usually an acceptable trade-off for still having a home once a hurricane rolls through……….

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