- The Palombo family of Plum Borough, Pa. might want to think twice about whether they are suited to be pet owners. Given the fact that the family's alleged favorite Christmas present, a Shih Tzu puppy, fell down an abandoned well in Plum Borough over the weekend, just days after becoming a part of the family, the early answer looks to be a solid no. I’ll allow the dog’s owner, Benny Palombo, to explain: “I woke up. My mom was in shambles, screaming and hollering. She said the puppy fell down in the well. We called 911," said my man Benny Palombo. As with any stuck pet, the fire department was called to the scene and firefighters spent three hours to get little Romeo out of a pipe. Their efforts went for naught until someone got the brilliant idea to hook up an industrial-strength vacuum and found an extension for the machine that sized it down to about 1 inch. Using the tool, they were able to catch on to one of the dog's legs and pull it out. Unfortunately, the pooch wasn't breathing when it came out of the well, so some unfortunate firefighter had to do mouth-to-snout resuscitation for about half of the trip to the nearest veterinarian’s office. Much to that firefighter’s relief, I’m sure, the dog eventually started to breath on its own. A final check by the veterinarian made sure that the dog was okay, but with quality owners like the Palombo family, you have to wonder how long little Romeo will stay that way……
- Welcome back soccer, how I had missed you. No, I’m not talking about dudes in short soccer shorts running around a big grass field randomly kicking a black-and-white ball in every possible direction except that of the goal. That tends to be boring, coma-inducing and to contain approximately 87 fake injuries per game in which players aren’t actually touched by their opponent yet drop to the ground as if they’ve been shot and writhe in pain until the trainer comes out and helps them to the sideline, where they immediately spring up and wave to the crowd to let everyone know they’re okay. What I am referring to is the goonish, brain-dead off-field behavior that soccer players and fans are so famous for engaging in. Whether it’s bagging up urine to lob at opposing fans at games, rioting when your team wins, loses or ties, rioting in the streets after a big win, brawling with the opposing team’s fans, throwing lit road flares at players or clashing with police looking to keep you off the field after a big win, soccer is good for mayhem every month of the year. However, you don’t always see players getting involved, which is why it’s so nice to see Steven Gerrard, the captain of English Premier League leaders Liverpool, charged Tuesday with assault and affray over an alleged bar brawl in Southport, north of Liverpool in northwest England. Gerrard and two other men were arrested early Monday after an incident at a late-night bar that left the club’s disc jockey in the hospital undergoing treatment for facial injuries. not surprisingly, the brawl took place only a few hours after Gerrard’s team, Liverpool, won 5-1 at Newcastle United. Zero to hooligan in under six hours, how very soccer of him. Only in soccer can you go from scoring two goals to lead your team to a win to facing charges of assault occasioning actual bodily harm and affray. Gerrard and his cohorts were arrested at around 2:30 am after a disturbance at the Lounge Inn, an eatery on Southport's Bold Street which doubles up as a music venue. Details of exactly what happened weren’t immediately available, but I’m sure we can find all of that out at Gerrard’s court appearance at North Sefton Magistrates' Court on January 23. Again, a big welcome back for soccer, it had been far too long…..
- On a brief, rare positive, non-bitter note, congratulations go out to two people who have given us more than their fair share of quality music this year. Actress/singer Zooey Deschanel and Death Cab for Cutie singer Ben Gibbard are now engaged. The two made it official just before the holidays, and it’s great to see two people who have put out very good, albeit very different, albums this year find love together. Gibbard also has a second band, his side project known as the Postal Service, while Deschanel released her first album, Volume One, in March with her band She & Him, which consists of herself and musician M. Ward, another of my favorite artists. And in the holiday spirit, I’m not going to hold it against Deschanel that she is currently starring in the latest canned, predictable train wreck of a movie from Jim Carrey, Yes Man. So big ups to Gibbard and Deschanel, if for no other reason than theirs should be one wedding where the music doesn’t actually blow. I do wonder, though, now that Gibbard has actually found love and his soul mate, is he still going to be able to conjure up enough angst, self-pity and soul-searching melancholy to continue writing the great emo songs that he and his fellow Death Cab members have become known for. Guess we’ll have to wait and see on that one…..
- Bad news for you, pervs of the world - well, at least those of you residing in the state of Wisconsin. That’s because a state appeals court there has ruled that a person who is voluntarily nude in the presence of another still has privacy rights against being secretly videotaped. In a decision that bolsters Wisconsin's video voyeur law, the court upheld the felony guilty plea of perv Mark Jahnke, who videotaped his girlfriend while she was naked and while they were having sex. No, not while she was naked and they were having sex, douche bag filmed them having sex AND her naked around the house, two separate things. Actually, these recordings were just the tip of the perv iceberg, as when police searched Jahnke's house, they found 33 audio (33? Seriously? That’s just creepy, prev to the nth degree) tapes of the couple having sex and three DVDs, one of which showed the couple having sex and two which showed the woman nude in her home. And what tipped the woman off that she was dating a world-class freak with a fetish for filming her with no clothes on? Well, she says she became suspicious when she saw a flash of a red light from beneath a pile of clothes in her bedroom. Ah, the old “hide the camera under a pile of laundry” trick, a favorite of pervs for as long as video cameras have existed. How does one defend himself from such indefensible behavior? By arguing that
because the woman agreed to be naked around him, she had no reasonable expectation of privacy. Nice try, freak, but no. Her deciding not to wear clothes around you didn’t mean she was giving you permission to film her and make pervy DVDs and tape collections. What it meant was that she was okay with you seeing her nude in that moment, that’s all. So I have to agree with the argument made by the state’s Department of Justice argued that shared intimacy does not give a person the right to film another unknowingly, just as the court did. Nice try, though, attorney Michael Herbert, arguing that Jahnke had the right to do what he did because the court had found in a previous case that a reasonable expectation of privacy existed when a nude person reasonably believed he or she was "secluded from the presence of others." Only one of the three judges bought Jahnke’s argument: Judge Charles Dykman, the dissenter in the 2-1 decision. Wouldn’t be surprised if he had his own sex tape library based on his reasoning, saying that said the 2001 law does not specifically prohibit what Jahnke did. Right, defend the rights of freaks to violate people’s privacy, good call there. What I don’t quite get is why Jahnke pleaded guilty to illegally making a nude recording in April 2007 and is now changing his mind. The threat of three years' probation and six months in jail, the sentence he received for his plea, must be scaring the hell out of him. Putting that jail time on hold is one side benefit of appealing, but that strategy looks to be running out of time. What’s even more disturbing about this case is the fact that Jahnke was a Waunakee High School chemistry teacher before all of this drama started. Right, because who wouldn’t want a quality individual like Mark Jahnke teaching their child? Let’s all go take a long, long shower to wash the dirty, disgusting feeling of this story off of us and then continue……
- I still may not be able to understand or enjoy her music and her outfits may still be among the most bizarre in music (or any other industry, for that matter), but you can’t knock Icelandic singer Bjork for looking to better her country and the environment through her new business venture. Bjork has partnered with a Reykjavik-based venture capital firm on a fund that will invest in companies that are “socially and environmentally responsible,” while in the process seeking to rebuild an Icelandic economy that has taken a hit just like many others around the world. To help address the problem, Bjork will establish a venture fund with Audur Capital and given her name to it. The stated mission of BJORK (the company) is to assist investors seeking opportunities in new venture creation and the development of small companies with the objective of helping the recovery of the Icelandic economy. A mouthful to be sure, but beneath all the legalese and corporate speak, it’s a noble effort. Audur Capital will run the BJORK venture fund, so no worries about a flaky pop star being at the helm of this thing. I don’t know how much financial savvy Bjork has, but maybe she’ll be little more than a figurehead and a public face for the fund and leave the actual financial work to the professionals. Audur has put down the initial investment of 100 million Iceland kronur ($826,000) and is seeking investors to participate in the fund with investments to close by March 2009. “The fund will invest in sustainable businesses that create value through the country's unique resources, spectacular nature, vibrant culture and green energy," reads a message on Audur Capital's website. So if you’ve been looking for investments opportunities with the side benefit of reviving a vital cog in the world’s economy like the economic system of Iceland, here’s your shot…..
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