- See what one brave soul can start by throwing a couple of shoes at the worst president in U.S. history? Iraqi hero Muntadhir Al-Zaidi may be facing trial next week for the December 14 incident in which he threw both of his shoes at W., but in the process he may have started a shoe-throwing revolution. One simple gesture of disgust and contempt for a complete and total tool on his way out of office inspired several dozen Iranians to throw shoes at posters of W. in Tehran Friday morning. Not the same as throwing shoes at the real thing, but ironically, the poster version of W. is both smarter and a more capable leader…..but I digress. The demonstration was in support of an Al-Zaidi chucking his kicks at W. two weeks ago in Baghdad. Big ups to Iran's Revolutionary Guards Corps, which sponsored the shoe-throwing events near Tehran University and the U.S. Embassy. Also, props to the 70 people who took a minute out of their day and stopped to toss their shoes in a show of solidarity against incompetent governance and sheer stupidity as they walked to Friday prayer meetings on the main campus of Tehran University. This display comes on the heels of statements made by several high-ranking Iranian clerics and members of parliament in support of al-Zaidi. But perhaps his actions were best characterized by Iran's Revolutionary Guards Corps, who have called al-Zaidi "a brave journalist who, by throwing his shoe at the Great Satan, had committed a heroic act." Could not agree more and for that reason, could not be more pumped about the fact that W.’s abortion of a reign is coming to an end in just over two weeks, good times…..
- It can be tough to tell whether someone would be a good parent before they actually have children. Sure, you can stick them with someone else’s kid for a day and see how it turns out or get them a puppy as a trial run, but you can't really know for sure - except with people like Meagan McCormic of Miami, Fla. See, when someone goes in front of television cameras on Christmas Day to plead for the return of their missing 5-month-old son who later turns out to be completely fictional, then admits that the whole stunt was a feeble attempt to lure an ex-boyfriend back, I’m free to conclude that this person is a total scumbag. "I don't even know if he's dead or alive," McCormic said during her fraudulent interview. No person with a soul or conscience could conjure up a fake infant son as having a mohawk, a single tooth and a fake tattoo….hang on for just a second. What the hell kind of kid is that, anyhow? A mohawk, fake tat and one tooth? Was he also sporting a tiny leather jacket, smoking a baby cigarette and riding a miniature Harley? Not that I advocate making up an imaginary child for criminal purposes, but if you’re going to do it, at least make it believable and not some mini-James Dean type. How little respect and consideration for people who actually do have missing children to pull this kind of crap? Your lie triggered a statewide search this week, but thankfully it has also triggered charges filing a false police report. Better still, if convicted, McCormic could be forced to pay authorities for the cost of their search. Before we move on though, let’s examine some of the other oh, so believable details of McCormic’s story. She claimed the infant’s name was Riley Buchness and that she had left him with a nanny who had a French accent and a gap between her teeth. A gap-toothed, French nanny? What, no eye patch? Did she walk with a limp and have a lazy eye as well? Sadly, the story was enough to lure the boyfriend back, and when he showed up and asked to see the child, McCormic allegedly told him the boy was missing. John Buchness actually attended a Christmas Day news conference with McCormic under the impression that he had a son who was missing. Authorities around Florida began looking for the boy and nanny, using the descriptions McCormic supplied, but oddly enough they found no trace of either. In attempting to keep up the charade, McCormic also allegedly downloaded of a child from the Internet and tried to pass it off to police as her child. Smooth move, very smooth. But I’m guessing, given the relative lack of intelligence McCormic showed throughout her little scam, that she didn’t clear her browser history or wipe her hard drive and that police had little trouble recovering the real source of the image. All in all, just a despicable story, both from the total lack of character standpoint and the total stupidity standpoint, but I’m probably more disappointed that another so blatantly stupid person lives in this world……moving on……..
- Tomorrow is a huge day in the NFL. By now, you should know that I am in no way referring to the multiple playoff spots and division titles on the line when teams take the field tomorrow afternoon. I couldn’t care less who wins the NFC North, the AFC East or the final wild card spot in either conference. The playoffs should be fun to watch regardless of who gets those spots; the real spotlight needs to be on Green Bay at 1 p.m., when the Packers host the 0-15 Detroit Lions in the game of a lifetime. Never before has anyone seen a team have a chance at 0-16 and honestly, we may never see it again. This is all of our shot at immortality and the Lions merely need to do what they’ve been doing this season, or more specifically, not doing what they not been doing all year: playing hard, smart, tough and skilled football for 60 minutes. Turn the ball over early and often, don’t convert third downs and don’t come up with big defensive stops at key moments. Allow the other team to impose their will on the game and get into a rhythm on offense. Basically, just give the same lackluster effort you gave last Sunday in your home finale against New Orleans. And yes, I realize that at this point in a long season, it’s easy to slip up and lose focus….or in this case, to suddenly gain focus and start playing well. So to each of the 53 players on tomorrow’s active roster, I say this: If you find yourself in a position where you are playing well and winning, just ask yourself if that sort of play is what got you to this point. Dig deep inside and quit. Immediately stop doing whatever it was that got you a lead. This is your one shot at immortality, guys, so do not blow this…..
- Enough vapid, self-important, egotistical tools who have contributed absolutely nothing to the world (I’m looking right at you, Paris Hilton, along with those two knobs Heidi and Spencer from The Hills) have been able to make a name for themselves via reality TV, so why not give a show to someone who is actually affecting the world in a positive way, even if that person is a controversial, rule-bending figure? That’s how I’m choosing to look at a new reality series fearing Maricopa County, Arizona, Sheriff Joe Arpaio, a man whose unique view of justice leads him to take unconventional steps like making jailed inmates wear pink underwear and using actors to trick suspects. His showman’s approach to justice has led to charges of discrimination and civil-rights abuses, but it has also created a sort of cult-figure status for Arpaio among fans of his tough-on-crime attitudes. Now, the sheriff will have an actual show on Fox Reality Channel, a show called "Smile: You're Under Arrest." The show features Arpaio and other officers using elaborate scripted settings crafted by comedy writers and carried out by professional actors to arrest suspects with outstanding warrants. One example is a suspect being invited to a phony fashion shoot and to “become a supermodel,” but is predictably arrested when he shows up. "It's kind of fun to show how stupid they are and, as I say, the looks on their face," Arpaio said. Not everyone is a fan, though; critics say the show will shine an unjustifiably positive light on Arpaio’s tenure, which has a decidedly darker side if you do a little digging. "It's going to celebrate a sheriff that's frankly scaring this community, a sheriff that has seen violent crime increase significantly in his county, a sheriff that is racially profiling the Latino community, and I doubt that the show is going to reflect that," said Paco Fabian, spokesman for the immigrant-rights group America's Voice. Not sure how legit those charges are, but on the group's Web site, Arpaio is labeled a "modern day Bull Connor," comparing him to the public safety commissioner in 1960s Birmingham, Alabama, who unleashed attack dogs and firehoses on civil rights demonstrators in blatant and violent shows of racism. Whether Arpaio is cut from the same cloth is open for debate, but what isn’t in dispute is the fact that he forces many of his county's 10,000 inmates to live in tents, has reinstituted chain gangs -- including crews for women and juveniles -- banned smoking, coffee and movies in his jails and required all inmates with money in their jail accounts to pay for their own meals. Oh, and dude forces inmates to wear pink underwear because in his words, they were stealing standard white underwear and smuggling the underwear out of the jail. But back to those allegations of racist behavior….seems that earlier this year, the mayor of Phoenix wrote a letter to the U.S. attorney general's office, asking the FBI and the U.S. Justice Department's civil rights division to investigate Arpaio's aggressive illegal immigration crackdowns. Mayor Phil Brown wrote in his letter that Arpaio’s approach to the issue shows "a pattern and practice of conduct that includes discriminatory harassment, improper stops, searches and arrests." In addition to the mayor, others who are not big fans of the sheriff would included the hundreds of people who have filed lawsuits against him and the critics who say his patrols use racial profiling to unfairly target Hispanic drivers and pedestrians. But hey, he wouldn’t be the first racist/bigot on the air, and he does appear to be doing at least a little good, so let’s cue the cameras and get this show rolling…..
- Let’s draw a key distinction here: just because you claim something is a joke or even if it is your attempt at a joke, that doesn’t make it okay if your “joke” is some bigoted, racist, offensive bullsh*t. You can’t just say or do something totally inappropriate and over-the-line and then when people get upset, say, “It was only a joke, just kidding, ha ha. Don’t get so angry, all in good fun!” Doesn’t work that way now, it never has. Tennessee Republican Chip Saltsman, you really need to learn this lesson. Not that your idiotic actions surprise me; one of my tried-and-true rules in life is to never, ever trust, like or do anything other than mock and doubt dudes named Chip. The only Chip I’ve ever known who wasn’t a total tool was Chip the chipmunk of Chip N’ Dale: Rescue Rangers, a kids TV show - of course, that Chip didn’t wear pants and talked like he’d just ingested a tank of helium, both of which still leave him several notches above you on the intelligence and class scale, Saltsman. That’s big the chipmunk version never sent a CD to Republican National Committee members for Christmas that included a song titled "Barack the Magic Negro" set to the music of well-known children’s song "Puff the Magic Dragon." Saltsman, a candidate (not anymore, I hope) for the RNC chairmanship, claims that his racist CD was clearly intended as a joke. "I think most people recognize political satire when they see it," he attempted to explain. "I think RNC members understand that." Hey ass hat….this isn’t about your fellow RNC members, not any more. Never a good sign when you’re pulling songs that were first played on Rush Limbaugh's radio show, as this song was back in 2007. See, Limbaugh is a bigoted, loudmouth blowhard who isn’t a high-ranking member of a political party. He’s on the radio to shock and offend, which he usually manages to do. He can get away with this type of garbage; you cannot. Just because there was once a column in the Los Angeles Times that suggested Obama appealed to those who feel guilty about the nation's history of mistreatment of African-Americans doesn’t mean that you, a rich, white dude, can put together some racist mixed tape album for your fellow rich, white dudes on the RNC and everything will be cool because you say it’s a joke. Not when the CD is titled "We Hate the USA" and also includes songs such as "John Edwards' Poverty Tour," "Wright place, wrong pastor," "Love Client #9," "Ivory and Ebony" and "The Star Spanglish Banner." Hard to see where former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee's presidential bid went wrong with a genius of political sensibility like Saltsman at the helm. Grow a brain, remove your head from you ass and you just might have a shot at ceasing to be a complete and utter tool, Saltsman….
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