- I always applaud estranged couples being able to patch up their difference and reconcile, but it’s also nice when they can make amends without one of them getting shot by the other in the process. Not everyone is so fortunate, as some end up like Carolyn Havens of Springfield, Ohio. Havens was in the midst of reuniting with her estranged husband, Timothy, via an, um, conjugal visit when something went very, very wrong. The exact order of events is disputed, but what we do know is that each of the following happened: 1) the coupled sexed it up, 2) Carolyn Havens was shot in the chest, and 3) Carolyn Havens was admitted to and later released from Miami Valley Hospital. While at the hospital, she was treated for her gunshot wound and at one point, listed in critical condition. The dispute comes in when it comes to the issue of when and how she was shot. Carolyn Havens insists that she wasn't shot during sex, a claim her husband backs up. "My husband pulled a gun out of the holster and it went off. It was an accident. When he called 911, he was in panic and didn't know what to say," Carolyn Havens stated. "We had earlier, in the living room and in another room. We were going to go into the bedroom but it wasn't in the middle of sex, no." However, at the time of the shooting it wasn’t so clear what happened and police arrested Havens because his wife had a protection order out against him that he had already violated once before the shooting. Still, as the situation was sorted out, both husband and wife were telling the same story. . "So far, (Carolyn Havens) is confirming it was an accidental shooting also," Champaign County Sheriff's Sgt. Matt Melvin. The tale told by Tim Havens is that he was moving the gun off the bed when it went off, hitting Carolyn in the side of her chest. So after all of this, what lies ahead for a husband-wife team that has 1) been legally separated, 2) had the wife file a restraining order against her estranged husband, 3) had the husband violate said restraining order, 4) had the husband shoot the wife under bizarre and possibly accidental circumstances? A permanent reunion, it would seem, is the answer. I love him. I'm trying to get him out and I need him home to help me," Carolyn Havens said. "It's embarrassing. So, hopefully we can just take care of this and move on." She went on to say that she was planning to drop the divorce proceedings against her husband, so they will be staying together. I have to say, it’s an all-around positive ending, as keeping these two whack jobs in one place probably makes for a safer world for the rest of us as opposed to having them in two separate places…..
- I am losing what little faith I still have left in you, American movie-going public. This makes two straight weeks you have made a complete bomb of a film, Four Christmases, the No. 1 film in the nation. Admittedly, this weekend was such a pathetic earnings total ($18.2 million) that any reputable studio wouldn’t exactly be thrilled even with the top spot, but that doesn’t make what you’ve done acceptable, America. After all, that $18.2 million figure brings the holiday comedy's two-week sum to a sweet $70.8 million, meaning it has now earned $70,800,588 more than it should have made. Yes, that’s right, do the math. I’m saying this movie should have made negative $8, you read that right. The films directly behind Four Christmases in the earnings race also remain mostly static from the previous week – i.e. their order changed, but the content was the same. Teen vampire romance flick Twilight moved back up to the No. 2 spot with a $13.2 million haul, giving it an impressive three-week tally of $138.6 million. Clearly, movie fans weren’t too impressed with the weekend’s new offerings, as the most notable new release, Punisher: War Zone finished in eighth and grossed a mere $4 million in 2,508 theaters, down significantly from the $13.8 million that The Punisher premiered with in 2004. Another semi-notable new release, Cadillac Records, didn’t do any better, bringing in only $3.5 million in 686 locations. The most successful debut for a film was from one that only came out in three theaters. The hyped, cult-following-ish drama Frost/Nixon raked in an amazing $60,049 average in three theaters in New York, Los Angeles and Toronto. The movie is considered a leading Oscar contender, meaning those associated with it have a good chance to be very popular on the self-congratulatory, self-important, pompous award show circuit. Surprisingly, overall earnings for the weekend were up more than 6 percent from the same weekend a year ago, when The Golden Compass was the big flip. Overall, here’s how the top 10 shook down: 1) "Four Christmases," $18.2 million, 2) "Twilight," $13.2 million, 3) "Bolt," $9.7 million, 4) "Australia," $7 million, 5) "Quantum of Solace," $6.6 million, 6) "Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa," $5.1 million, 7) "Transporter 3," $4.5 million, 8) "Punisher: War Zone," $4 million, 9) "Cadillac Records," $3.5 million, 10) "Role Models," $2.6 million. I would say that’s an awful collection of movies, but looking at the list, I don’t think I need to tell you that, America. I think you can figure out all on your own that now is a time to be very, very ashamed of yourselves….
- I think I’m pretty safe in saying that most of us have shared with our parents the same kind of special bonding moment that Sherri A. Feuston of Selma, Indiana, and her 9-year-old son shared recently. Feuston was arrested after her son told police she held him down and used a crayon to scratch a derogatory word onto his forehead before sending him to school. And what word was it? Well, let’s just say it would adequately describe the role the Detroit Lions have played to their 13 opponents this season….yes, b*tch. The police showed up at Selma Elementary School after school officials called them on Tuesday when the fourth-grader showed up with the profanity scrawled on his forehead."When little kids at school came up asking him what happened to his forehead he became embarrassed and cried," said Delaware County investigator Nancy Marvin. "That made his face red. It stood out even more, which made it worse." Aww, come on, kids would never do anything to embarrass another kid and make him or her cry, I don’t believe that. Elementary school students are renowned for their understanding and compassion when someone they know is in any way different or disfigured. Regardless, I’m guessing that even if no kids had teased Feuston’s son, at least one of his teachers would have taken notice. Thus, the end result was going to be police having a not-so-friendly chat with Sherri Feuston and asking her why her son had a profanity written on his forehead. What did Feuston tell the cops? Well, she claims that she was just playing around with her son and that she sat on the boy's chest and wrote the word as they were roughhousing. Seriously, that’s the best you’ve got? You and your kid were horsing around and you thought, “Hey, know what would really make this a fun, memorable mother-son moment? If I found the nearest writing utensil and etched ‘bitch’ into my child’s forehead. That would be fun and it wouldn’t emotionally scar him at all!” Better still, Feuston's 11-year-old and 2-year-old daughters were also in the home at the time, so they too have a fine family memory to cherish. Actually, they do have something good to remember from this incident, namely that all three of them have been placed in the care of family members. Meanwhile, their mother has been preliminarily charged with neglect of a dependent, battery and criminal confinement. Look for her book of helpful parenting wisdom to be published and available in your local bookstore and online right around the 15th of never…….
- If you are a driver in the state of Indiana, leave your smile, your glasses, hats and scarves at home when you go to renew your driver’s license. The Indiana Bureau of Motor Vehicles is cracking the whip when it comes to how you can look in your driver’s license photograph, but it’s allegedly not because the government is looking to restrict your freedom of expression – uh huh, sure it is. The new rules were purportedly put in place last month so as to better facilitate facial recognition software can spot fraudulent license applications, said BMV spokesman Dennis Rosebrough. The software compares applicants' new pics with old ones on file to protect them from identity fraud. "We take very seriously our responsibility to help protect the personal identity of Hoosiers, and the employment of this innovative technology is yet another important step forward in doing just that," said BMV commissioner Ron Stiver. The BMV would have you believe that this is merely a more technological way of doing something they have been doing for a long time in comparing images to ensure ID protection. Rosebrough claim that BMV employees always have looked at the old photo of a person to see if it looked like the person seeking a new license. Personally, I have always thought the biggeest problem with license fraud was all the aspiring McLovin’s out there conjuring up fake IDs to buy booze or sneak into clubs, but whatever. Indiana is actually one of almost 20 states using the facial recognition technology and officials would have you believe that the no-smiles policy is commonplace in those states. The restrictions go right down to the most mundane, controlling details, such as hair hanging in a person’s face, which the new rules mandate must be swept aside. Why the ban on smiling, by the way? Well, smiling is also restricted because it can distort facial features measured by the software, Rosebrough says. He went on to state that so far, people have been mostly understanding and accepting (spineless sheep, cough, um, er….) of the new rules. "If people understand why we're doing something, our experience is the great, great majority of our customers say, 'Fine, we get it,"' Rosebrough droned on. Score another blow for oppression, Big Brother restricting the common man’s freedom of expression and add another bad thing to the list about going to the BMV, at least in Indiana and 20 other like-minded states……
- Any episode of Prison Break that begins with an all-out siege is a good one in my book. To be fair, now-former Homeland Security agent Don Self’s raid wasn’t exactly Rambo-esque, but he and Gretchen did shoot tear gas canisters into the warehouse where Michael Scofield and his team have made their home this season. Just as it seemed Michael and Co. would be smoked out into the open, Linc was able to sneak up behind Self on the pier after hanging out there as a lookout, and take out the enemy. Linc walked Self back into the warehouse and some tense negotiations got underway and were soon interrupted when Gretchen came storming in, guns literally blazing. However, Linc and Sarah Tancredi also have guns and to the standoff ends with Self offering Michael and his team an in on the deal he and Gretchen have with the buyer they’ve lined up for Scylla if Michael turns over the one small piece of Scylla he has held back and which has necessitated Self’s assault on the warehouse. However, the whole assault turns out to be merely a ruse so that Self could shoot a sensor and camera into the building disguised inside one of the tear gas canisters. That camera scans the warehouse and its technology allows its lens to see through walls, barriers, etc. so that Self can see where Michael is hiding his piece of Scylla. While they wait to find that out, Gretchen and Self hole up in the Fauntleroy Hotel in downtown L.A., unaware that while they were inside the warehouse, Sucre hid inside the trunk of their car under a false bottom he made. That allowed Sucre to ride along to the hotel and call back to alert Michael of Gretchen and Self’s location. They weren’t the only ones aware of where Gretchen and Self were, as the Company had all of its resources set on scouring traffic camera and surveillance footage from around the city in an attempt to track down Scylla. When they finally ID’d Gretchen and Self on a surveillance feed from outside the hotel, General Krantz ordered his men to close in. However, Michael, Linc, Sarah and Sucre were already there. Using some bribes to the desk clerk, they found out the right room in the hotel and with some leftover gas canisters Sucre pilfered from the car and the use of some plastic tubing from an alley and cans of hairspray, Michael created makeshift launchers for the canisters. That was enough to smoke Self out of the room, right onto a fire escape the Michael had rigged to malfunction, sending Self falling to the pavement below and allowing Michael to snatch Scylla from his clutches. Gretchen also left the room to surveill the hall and Sucre was waiting for her, ambushing Gretchen and starting a brutal fight that also included Sarah coming in at the end to toss Gretchen down the stairs. But in the end, the plan to get back Scylla failed because of the elephant in the room, the growth on Michael’s brain that is slowly killing him. His nosebleeds returned with a vengeance, as did his seizures. Shortly after stealing Scylla from Self, Michael passes out in an alley and Self catches up. He takes Scylla back, leaving Michael lying in the alley. There, Michael is found by Company men and taken back to Company HQ, where something interesting happens. The General orders his people to run a full battery of tests to determine the extent of Michael’s condition and actually has him readied for the surgery he so desperately needs. When Linc, who saw Michael snatched from the alley, shows up to find his brother, the General makes him an offer: work for the Company to retrieve Scylla and Michael gets the surgery he needs, or don’t work for the Company and Michael dies. Linc is handed a dossier for a project called “Tombstone II” and left to make his decision. All of this comes at a bad time for Alex Mahone, who disappeared at the end of last week’s episode only to reappear this week as part of the plan one more time. He meets his old partner, Felicia Lang, and asks her for help in bringing Scylla and the intel on the Company to the FBI. She agrees to help him and sets up a meeting with Agent Wheeler, the man who nearly found Mahone out in Season 2 when he was still working for the Company. Wheeler now has his own FBI field office, so he is in a position to help Mahone and get the information on the Company to the Attorney General. The three meet in a diner and Mahone waits for word from Linc and Michael that they have Scylla so he can pass it along to Wheeler and the AG. However, when Self retakes Scylla and Mahone admits as much to Wheeler, things take a decided downturn. Mahone goes outside and gets in the car with Lang and Wheeler, but must sit in the back behind the wire mesh divider in the spot reserved for criminals. He realizes that he’s not going to Washington to meet with the Attorney General, but rather is being taken into custody and headed off to jail. Of course, the preview for next week shows him jumping from that same moving car, so don’t feel too bad for Mahone. You may want to feel bad for T-Bag, who remained at his post at Gretchen’s house, guarding her sister and the young girl who is Gretchen’s daughter but who is being raised by the sister. The situation becomes more complicated when a knock on the door leads to a confrontation with what appears to be a pushy Bible salesman. T-Bag is spooked because the man is sporting a ring from a military academy and he assumes that the man is Company and not an actual Bible salesman. Over the next couple of hours, T-Bag assaults the man, calls Self to find out what to do with him and ultimately decides to kill him. Gretchen’s sister tries to talk him out of it, advocating for him and trying to get T-Bag to let him go. In spite of that, T-Bag is ready to shoot the man and go back to being T-Bag, the convict, instead of Cole Pfeiffer, the successful identity he had assumed earlier this season. Just as he pulls out a sheet to keep the blood from splattering when he shoots his victim, a crisis of conscience hits T-Bag. He recites a Bible passage he remembers from his childhood and when the man he’s about to shoot knows the obscure passage from Psalms, T-Bag assumes he’s who he claims to be. Having had an epiphany, T-Bag lets Gretchen’s sister leave with her adopted daughter, Emily. However, it turns out that T-Bag should have stuck to his initial gut feeling because the Bible salesman overpowers him and apprehends him, then calls the Company. Now, T-Bag is in Company custody and headed back to the same place Michael and Linc are. As for Scylla, Self and Gretchen go to an empty pier and wait for her contact that will facilitate the exchange between them and the buyer. Scylla is tested to ensure its authenticity and when Self is assured that the buyer is on his way, he shoots the contact and his associate, telling Gretchen he won't share a percentage of the sale with this guy just for making introductions. So now Gretchen and Self are waiting on the buyer to arrive, unaware of who is coming after them to get Scylla back for the Company - Linc, Sucre, Sarah and T-Bag. All of that will unfold next week in the final episode of PB before the holiday break, so be sure to tune in…..
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