- New York Gov. David Paterson, you’re both right and wrong. When you say that "Saturday Night Live" isn’t funny, you’re right. But trying to limit it’s un-funniness to its portrayal of one legally blind governor is wrong. "SNL," is known for parodies of political figures, some of them funny but not in a long time. Those skits have begun to suck immeasurably, just like the rest of the show and its lackluster cast. So when the show portrayed the governor in a four-minute "Weekend Update" segment as confused and disoriented, it wasn’t funny but it also was nothing new for “SNL.” Cast member Fred Armisen portrayed the governor, with one of the more controversial lines referring to cocaine use, with Armisen saying he became governor because of a "sex scandal I was miraculously not at the center of. Come on, I'm a blind man who loves cocaine who was suddenly appointed governor of New York. My life is an actual plot from a Richard Pryor movie." Paterson took great offense to something that he shouldn’t have even bothered to address, attempting to drag another oft-belittled political figure into the process: Sarah Palin. "Now that [Alaska Gov. Sarah] Palin's not around, they seem to have run out of material," Paterson said. "The idea of a person rolling around the stage in a chair, being disoriented, can't find anything, bumbling, in a sense looking like a clown is a way disabled people are portrayed all the time.” Look, I can see where you might be sensitive about this issue, being a blind man in a world where there are a lot of insensitive a-holes who treat disabled people poorly. But this skit wasn’t over the top, it wasn’t grossly offensive and at worst, it was in bad taste and a bad idea. but for, a spokeswoman for Paterson to label the skit as offensive to all people with physical disabilities is overboard. Yeah, I would expect an advocacy group like the National Federation of the Blind to criticize the skit, which they did, but that’s their job. The governor’s job, as I understand it, is to be the chief executive of the state he governs. Taking time out to take shots at some past-its-prime, non-funny primetime comedy show doesn’t exactly fall under those duties, so let it go and realize that most Americans stopped regarding “Saturday Night Live” as relevant and/or paying attention to it years ago…..
- America, could you excuse me for a minute? I need to have a private motivational chat with my current NFL team of choice, the Detroit Lions. Yes, the Lions lost to Indianapolis Sunday, 31-21, to drop to 0-14 and keep my dream of an 0-16 season alive. But I saw a lot of things in that game which concern me greatly, so I’m going to have a chat with the Lions if you don’t mind…..okay, now that everyone else has had time to vacate the premises, it’s just you and me, Lions. What the hell was that? You were down 21-10 at halftime, on the road, against an uber-hot Colts team that is a near lock for a playoff berth. In that situation, you need to roll over and die. Trying is not an option, not when history hangs in the balance. Quarterback Dan Orlovsky, you are one of the main problems. Running around making plays, throwing accurate passes and leading your team to touchdowns is reprehensible. And to your favorite target, wide receiver Calvin Johnson, you need to stop making athletic catches in traffic, juking defenders and lunging into the end zone for touchdowns that keep your team in the game. Now I realize that the Colts didn’t help matters because a man I now loathe, punt returner Keiwan Ratliff, fumbled two punts to set the Lions up with great field position, but moments like that are when you need to step your game down, Lions. If the other team tries to hand you great field position, you refuse to accept the gift. Either don’t recover the fumble or respond with one of your own, fellas. It’s not as if you don’t know how to turn the ball over; it’s a key part of what has enabled you to lose all 14 of your games this season. Don’t suddenly starting playing all competent and effective; keep not doing what it takes to win. Coach Rod Marinell is also a huge problem here, because he has an indomitable will that is infecting his team and inspiring them to actually try. I wish the Lions would fire him before he ruins this season by leading his team to a win, but I’m realistic enough to know that won’t happen. So instead, I’m imploring every Lions player to have the worst week of practice possible, slack off, fail to focus and do everything it takes to lose Sunday’s game against the New Orleans Saints. The Saints have a stellar offense and a great quarterback, so it won't be hard. Heck, it will even be fun to watch Drew Brees, Reggie Bush and Co. do their thing, so sit back, relax and enjoy, Lions players. Because the effort I saw from you yesterday, when you battled back to tie the game 21-21 in the fourth quarter, that’s inexcusable…..
- Much has been said about an angry Iraqi man throwing both of his shoes at W. Sunday as our un-esteemed president made a farewell visit to Baghdad. After W. he met with Iraqi leaders, he spoke at a news conference with Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki at the prime minister’s palace. There, an angry Iraqi man who jumped up and threw shoes at W., who managed to duck both of them the same way he dodged actual combat duty in the war in Vietnam. People have cracked wise about W.’s reflexes and made all sorts of jokes, but personally I’m pissed. No, not that some ungrateful bastard in a foreign country had the audacity to hurl shoes at our leader. What pisses me off is that no one here in the United States was the one to do this and that once again, we left it to another country to take care of our dirty work. Yes, W. had f’ed over Iraq the past six-plus years, what with invading their country on fabricated evidence, unleashing the biggest abortion of a war in Americna history and refusing to leave that country even when its citizens want our troops out. However, he has done infinitely more to f**k over America during his time in office, from the war in Iraq to the failing economy, the failed war on terror in Afghanistan to the secret torture of terrorism suspects in covert CIA prisons in foreign countries. For all he has done (and not done) and lied about, you’re telling me there isn’t one American out there with the balls and motivation to hurl a shoe at W.? It’s not like you couldn’t sneak them into a news conference here; everyone needs shoes, so you can walk right in with them on. Better still, a woman would be perfect for this because she could wear sharp, spiky heels and throw them, which would be the most painful of all shoes to throw. Instead, an Iraqi shoe-thrower has to do our dirt work, chucking two shoes and yelling in Arabic: "This is a farewell ... you dog!" Yes, the man was dragged out of the room, screaming, and he faces two years in prison, but to get that kind of slam in on a tool like W. would be worth it. When you consider that hurling shoes at someone is considered an serious insult among Muslims, this is an even better story. So I salute this brave hero and applaud his efforts, even if his throws did sail a bit high and wide…..
- The last episode Heroes for the year was contained to two settings, one being Primatech and the other Pinehearst. The two rival organizations run by Angela and Arthur Petrelli, respectively, were host to plenty of drama. Arthur’s reign at Pinehearst actually came to an end last week, when his son Peter tried to shoot him and Sylar stopped the bullet in mid-air before restarting its flight, right through Arhur’s forehead once Arthur lied one last time about beign Sylar’s father. Taking over at Pinehearst is Nathan, Arthur’s oldest son. Last week, Nathan demanded to take over the organization and Arthur capitulated. As Nathan began overseeing the administration of the newly perfected formula that gives powers to anyone on dozens of marines who volunteered for the experiment, the fireworks begin. Only one marine, Scott, is injected before Nathan leaves to see why Arthur hasn’t returned. He finds Peter and Arhtur’s dead body in Arhtur’s office, after which Peter explains what happened. Nathan tells Peter what he’s up to and when Peter opposes the plan to mass produce the formula and use it to “change the world,” Nathan tells Peter he is either with him or against him. A fihgt breaks out in which Peter nearly shoots his own brother, but elects for a swift jab to the face instead. After that, he storms into the Pinehearst lab, gun drawn, and confronts Dr. Mohinder Suresh, who is busy working on the formula and preparing to injkect himself with some of it so he can reverse the disastrous effects of the unfinished version of the formula he gave himself earlier this season. Peter stops him, fights him as well and when he takes Mohinder out, begins destroying the entire supply of the formula. He receives help from Knox and Flint, the two villains formerly in Primatech custody who escaped and have been on the run this season, including time with Peter when he was trapped inside the body of another escapee, Jesse. The three of them set about destroying the formula, but as they tip over the final vat, it spills all over the lab, with Mohinder ingesting some of it and finding that as he hoped, it does heal his illness. Around that that, Nathan escapes from the office where he was being held prisoner by Knox. Nathan’s lady friend Tracy Strauss sneaks into the office, uses her freezing ability to turn Knox into a human ice cube and see him shatter into pieces and sets Nathan free. He goes to the lab to stop Peter, but Flint uses his flame-throwing power to ignite a blaze using the formula, which is highly flammable. It appears that Nathan will die in the blaze, except that Peter finds one last dose of the formula, which restores the powers that Arthur stole from him at the beginning of the season. Doing so goes against everything he has stood for against Nathan and using the formula, but it’s the only way to save his brother. Powers back, Peter grabs Nathan and flies to safety. Once the pair stops in a nearby forest, Peter touches down and another argument breaks out. Nathan calls Peter a hypocrite and says what he did, “Wasn’t what I would have done,” before flying away. Pinehearst was also a key point for the rescue of de-powered hero Hiro Nakamura from 1992, where he was stranded without his powers after Arthur Petrelli traveled back in time to steal his powers (and the catalyst to complete the formula) last week. Stuck hanging on a flagpole and later inside the Deveaux Building, Hiro tries to find a way to solve his dilemma. Without the power to time travel, he instead focuses on destroying the formula so it can’t cause all of the trouble it brings about in 2008. With the help of his past self, Hiro breaks into his father’s office and tries to steal the formula. Unfortnately, his father Kaito catches him and attacks 2008 Hiro with a sword. Hiro tells Kaito the formula must be destroyed, but as he is about to rip it up, something odd happens. Back in 2008, his friends - Matt Parkman, Daphne Millbrook and Ando - are looking for ways to travel back in time to save Hiro and bring him back to 2008. With Daphne’s help, Ando and Parkman hatch a plan. Working out of Suresh’s (and Isaac Mendez’s) old loft in Brooklyn, they decide to break into Pinehearst to find Suresh and a vial of the formula so Ando can use it to give himself powers, hopefully the power to time travel and go back for Hiro. Daphne uses her super speed to invade the Pinehearst lab with Ando, snatching a vial of the formula for Suresh as he’s about to inject himself and is arguing with Peter. Back at the loft, Ando injects himself….then blacks out. When he comes to and tries to time travel, he fails miserably and thinks he still has no super powers….until he bangs his hands on the table in frustration and some sort of weird electrical jolt pulses through him. When he comes into contact with Parkman and Daphne, their powers are somehow supercharged, with Parkman able to read the minds of people for miles in any direction and Daphne’s super speed even faster. Ando’s power turns out to be amplifying the powers of others. Using his power and incorporating Einstein’s theory of relativity as it relates to moving faster than the speed of light and moving through space and time, Ando and Daphne team up to super-speed in reverse and travel back to 1992. There, they find Hiro and snatch him up just as he’s about to destroy the formula right in front of his father, circa 1992. Instead, he’s snatched up and taken back to 2008. Because of that, Hiro must find a way to destroy the formula in 2008. He and Daphne head back to Pinehearst, where they confront Tracy Strauss and when she mocks Hiro and says he’s a chump, he punches her in the face and takes the formula. Back at the loft, he is finally able to destroy the formula and finish his mission. The other setting for the night was Primatech, where Sylar caught up to Claire Bennet, her father H.R.G., her biological mother Meredith and Angela Petrelli. Sylar uses his catalog of powers to lock down the building and spend the night torturing the quartet to show that they are monsters, just like him. He offers to let Claire, H.R.G. and Meredith go - if Claire kills Angela. He murders security guards and murders three Level 5 prisoners whom H.R.G lets out of their cells to use as bait to lure Sylar out of hiding. Among those killed is Eric Doyle, the puppet man from early in the season. Sylar then doses Meredith with adrenaline, causing her fire-starting powers to surge out of control. He then tricks H.R.G. into a locked-down cell with her, theoretically to force him to make the choice to shoot her and save himself or die when her heat blasts get out of control. Instead, Claire finds them and using Meredith’s heat ability and H.R.G.’s gun, combined with pressure on the outside of the glass wall from Claire, break the wall down and escape. Meanwhile, Sylar got some alone time with Angela and with his new power to always know when people are lying to him, he gets the truth about her not being his mother and why she used him and his powers. Just as Sylar was about to kill her, Angela saved her own life by telling Sylar she knew who his real parents are. He demands to know the truth, but just then Claire ambushes him from behind and stabs him in the one place that he is vulnerable despite his power to heal from any wound - the back of the skull, at its base. So Sylar is “dead,” although we’ve seen this twice before (at Kirby Plaza at the end of Season 1 and earlier this year in Costa Verde when H.R.G. slit his throat), so don’t expect him to stay gone long. All of this brought “Chapter Three” of the show to and end, which has been the term applied to the first two seasons of the show. However, Chapter Four begins in February, so not sure what to make of those labels. What I do know is that in the first scene of the fourth chapter, which ended this episode, Nathan - not without the formula and pissed at all that Peter has done to destroy the work of Pinehearst - uses his power as a U.S. senator to lobby the President of the United States for the resources to start a program to hunt down and imprison people with powers. That will be the theme of this next “chapter’s” episodes - those with powers hunted and thrown in prison. Should be fun, tune in on the first Monday of February to see where this goes…..
- Where was this research when I was in high school? Researchers at the University of Kentucky in Lexington have done some stellar work in proving that teenagers who fall asleep in class may not be able to help it. Based on their findings, these researchers point to early school start times and the circadian rhythms of teens as the real culprits. In studying the issue, researches determined that teenagers need eight to 10 hours of sleep, compared with the six to eight hours for adults. In spite of that, teenagers tend to go to bed and wake later than adults. When you combine those sleep habits with early morning high school schedules, you get nappy time in the middle of chemistry class. How to address the problem? Well, research conducted found that when Fayette County high schools delayed their start time by just one hour, the percentage of students getting at least eight hours of sleep per night jumped from 35.7 to 50 percent. More than 10,000 students in the Kentucky county took part in the study. They were surveyed before and after their schools changed the start time from 7:30 to 8:30 a.m. What’s odd is that one of the study’s co-authors actually likened the phenomenon of tired teens sleeping through school to jet lag. "It's as if they are jet lagged, like they've just flown into Atlanta from San Diego," said Dr. Barbara Phillips, a co-author in the study. "For people who live in Atlanta, it might be 8 a.m. For a teenager, it feels like it's 5 o'clock in the morning. They're sleepy and don't do well." Odd, yes, but the facts tend to bear out that when the start time for school is pushed back, the effects are positive and not just in the classroom. Two years after the change in Fayette County's school start time, the crash rate for teen drivers dropped 16.5 percent, while at the same, crash rates increased 7.8 percent in the rest of the state, where the schedules weren’t adjusted. This is a study that teenagers around the nation should get behind and print copies of to put on the desk of their principals and teachers….assuming that you can wake them up, that is….
No comments:
Post a Comment