- Philadelphians, keep this up and you won't just be known as the jerks who boo Santa Claus and throw loaded snowballs at the buses of visiting football teams when they come to town to play your Eagles. No, keep this up and you will also be known as a place where losers steal 12-pound, foot-long statues of baby Jesus. The theft occurred at a Nativity scene in front of Independence Hall that has been operated by
the Ancient Order of Hibernians and the Knights of Columbus for the past four years. Some time late Saturday or early Sunday, the figurine of the baby Jesus and the bolted-down crib where it lay were stolen from the Nativity scene. As usually happens in the cases, it was a maintenance worker who discovered the theft. And this isn't just any plastic, run-of-the-mill baby Jesus, either; the stolen figurine is valued at $600.
Motivation for the theft could have something to do with the fact that the wooden 12-by-15-foot creche, with a half-dozen near-life-size figurines, is just in front of a globe that bears the inscription, "Peace on Earth . . . From your friendly neighborhood atheists, freethinkers and humanists." Wonder if some of those “friendly neighborhood atheists” didn’t take kindly to the nativity scene and decided to have a little fun with it.
Members of Immaculate Conception Roman Catholic Church in Jenkintown were quick to help with the suddenly incomplete nativity, rushing to the scene with a replacement baby Jesus in time for a dedication ceremony attended by close to 50 people. However, the replacement Jesus could only be used for the ceremony because it had to be returned to Jenkintown later in the evening for that congregation's creche. To whomever committed this theft…..this is coming from someone who doesn’t especially enjoy any sort of Christmas decoration and overly enthused about nativity scenes….you totally suck. If you were trying to make a serious statement with your theft, you did send one, just not the message you wanted to send. Your message is that you are a total tool, an immature, idiotic knob who has no respect for anyone else’s belongings. Return the pilfered baby Jesus, try to stop being a moron and see if that doesn’t help your life immensely……
- This is getting good, really good….unless you’re a New York Knicks fan, then it probably sucks big time. I am, of course, referring to the running debacle that is the showdown between the Knicks and disgruntled star and tattoo-on-side-of-head-wearer Stephon Marbury. Starbury has banished from the New York Knicks after being inactive much of the season despite earning a $21 million salary and also after refusing to play in two games for which his team was shorthanded due to two trades they had made but not finalized. After all of that, Starbury, the NBA Players Association and the Knicks tried to hammer out some sort of agreement for the two parties to part ways, but that didn’t happen. So the team banished him and basically agreed to pay dude to not be a part of the team. Well, last night the Knicks were in Los Angeles to play the Lakers and who else was sitting in the front row, alongside the many celebrities who love attending Laker games, but Starbury? He was in town to attend to his residence there and conduct some business, so he figured he would buy a ticket for the game and sit baseline and courtside, not far from Spike Lee. He spent a lot of the game talking on his cell phone, which isn't the least bit surprising. He wasn’t there to see the game, he was there to be seen and to be a spectacle, to draw attention and try to make the Knicks look bad. The game he saw between phone calls was a familiar sight, with the mediocre Knicks coming from ahead to choke away a double-digit halftime lead and lose in the final minute, 116-114. Additionally, Starbury held a halftime chat
with a group of reporters. No Knicks players seemed amused at his presence when asked about it, and one team official was quoted as saying: "This is exactly why we sent him away in the first place." And how does Starbury feel about the situation? Well, as you might expect from a guy making $21 million for doing nothing, he feels pretty damn good. "I didn't create this, this is all their doing," Marbury declared. "I'm still earning my check by doing nothing. I'm staying in shape. My mind-set is to enjoy my life." He went on to say that he’s not impatient about the lack of progress in negotiating a buyout of his contract, which again, makes sense. If only he could stop acting like such a smug a-hole, this would be straight-up hilarious comedy…..
- Riot Watch! Riot Watch! I told you I was sticking with these Greek riots for the duration and now you know why: this siutation just keeps getting better – and by better, I mean more contentious, disatrous and destructive by the minute. Now, not only are angry anarchists (still one of the best phrases in any language) clashing with police, burning and looting things, they have stormed the headquarters of state television station ERT in Athens yesterday, interrupting broadcasting and unfurling a black banner that read, "Do not watch television. Everyone out on the streets." Flat-out awesome. That is a freaking memorable moment, one your country won’t soon forget and which is a memory to treasure, for sure. Good drama, a certain bad-ass quality to it and storming the set of a live broadcast and taking it over is fantastic. Among the witnesses was ERT chairman Christos Panagopoulos, who said 40 protesters snuck into the building in small groups and posing as guests. So add stealth and craftiness to the list….like I said, this just keeps gettgn better. Yes, these protestors have shown they can go mano-a-mano with police, trading Molotov cocktails, tear gas, rocks and eggs, but they are now showing that the can stage a thinking man’s act of social dissidence as well. They have staged daily protests and riots that have thrown their nation into chaos and brought other areas where the national government has been falling short under closer scrutiny. And really, what’s a good social movement if it doesn’t have an endgame in mind? Rioting for rioting’s sake is fine and all, but the truly great ones all have a cause in mind. To that end, storming the TV station and taking over a live broadcast by overpowering technicians in the master control room are great steps forward. It’s even more impressive when you consider that the station had stepped up security in anticipation of such an effort. So ERT can post all the messages it wants on its website “denouncing” the actions of the protesters, but it’s sour grapes. Get over it and get over yourself, ERT. These protestors are using your airwaves for a greater cause and you need to shut up and get out of their way…..
- Can someone check the calendar for me? Is it 1994 and I missed it? Did we all travel back in time, a la Monday night’s episode of Heroes? Because there’s no way that it’s a few days from 2009 and I’m hearing about plans for a return of Hootie & the Blowfish to the music scene. Yes, frontman Darius Rucker has delved into that most abysmal, abhorrent segment of the music world – country music – and in so doing, become even more dead to me than he already was (musically speaking), but he says he and the Blowfish will be back in early 2009. "To be honest with you, we're not even split up right now, and we're not really thinking about splitting up," Rucker explains. "We have four shows coming up in March. But it was more the group wanted to stop touring every summer, to not go on the road every summer just 'cause we can. People wanted to do other things with their lives. We're still a band. Even if something were to happen and we didn't play for years, we would still consider ourselves a band. We've been doing this more than half of our lives." Okay, so it’s not a ginormous comeback, but it still counts….I think. As for an album, Rucker says that will happen “some time down the road. It's not going to be this year or next year, but I'm sure we will.” The band’s last album "Looking for Lucky," came out in 2005, with lukewarm reception from both fans and critics. In the meantime, Rucker has lost his music mind and soul by going country with "Learn To Live," his second solo album and first country effort. Actually, when you take that into consideration, maybe getting back to Hootie & the Blowfish isn't such a bad thing. True, they’re not exactly Nirvana, Pearl Jam, the Beatles or U2, but anything is better than going country, other than dance/techno and polka…….welcome back, Hootie & the Blowfish, we missed you, kind of……
- It’s important for fathers and sons to spend time together and to do things together. Typically that would involve playign catch in the back yard, going to a ballgame, going fishing or golfing, that sort of thing. For the father-son tandem of Bruce and Joshua Turnidge, those traditional activities just weren’t good enough. Instead, the Turnidge’s teamed up for a father-son bank bombing, the first of its kind to my knowledge. Joshua Turnidge was arrested yesterday after last Friday's blast at the West Coast Bank in Woodburn, Oregon, that killed Bill Hakim, a state police bomb-disposal technician, and Woodburn Police Capt. Tom Tennant. Joshua Turnidge left a suspicious device outside the West Coast Bank followed up by a suspicious, threatening call to police. When the cops arrived on the scene, they found a "suspicious object" that they determined was not dangerous. Hakim, the bomb technician, took the device inside the bank because he believed it, too, was harmless. It then exploded. Following his arrest, the younger Turnidge has been charged with aggravated murder, attempted aggravated murder and assault. Initially, his old man was only hit with charges of conspiracy to manufacture an explosive device and conspiracy to possess an explosive device, but after further consideration by police, it appears father and son will also face similar criminal charges together. Just like his son, Bruce Turnidge has been charged with aggravated murder, attempted aggravated murder and assault. That announcement came from the Marion County District Attorney's Office, which said in a news that the decision came after a "careful review" of the evidence. All told, Bruce Turnidge faces six counts of aggravated murder, two counts of attempted aggravated murder, conspiracy to commit aggravated murder and a couple of assault charges, according to the district attorney. But that tends to happen when you construct a dangerous incendiary device and place it near two banks that are less than 150 feet apart. My question is how this happens in a place like Woodburn, Ore., which is in the Willamette Valley, about 30 miles south of Portland. Isn't the Pacific Northwest the home to lots and lots of stoners, mellow-living, easygoing people who wear flannel, listen to grunge rock and enjoy nature? How does a place like that produce two douche bags so horribly messed up in the head as to produce a despicable act like this one? Never mind don’t answer that, I think not knowing is probably a lot better for my mental state….
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