- Those residing in the congressional distract represented in the House by Rep. Ileana Ros-Lehtinen, you may want to prepare yourselves for a tough net four years. President-elect Barack Obama may not be inclined to do you many favors after your fair representative hung up on both he and his chief of staff designate Rahm Emmanuel on Wednesday. Ros-Lehtinen claims that she thought the calls were a joke, so she shut down both Obama and Emmanuel. According to one of her representatives, someone called her from a Chicago phone number, claiming that Obama wanted to talk to her. For some odd reason, the man on the phone introduced himself as Barack Obama when he was, in fact, Barack Obama. Almost immediately,
Ros-Lehtinen told him she thought the call was a joke and hung up. To be fair, it is common practice for an aide to call in advance to verify when a high-ranking official is going to call someone, but even that doesn’t take Ros-Lehtinen off the hook. “This one was just out of the blue he's calling me. And I said, 'Boy, you're a much better impersonator than that guy on "Saturday Night Live,"' and he's laughing and he's thinking I'm kidding," she said. So after you hang up on the next leader of the free world, what happens? Well, in the case of Ros-Lehtinen, you receive another call, this time from Obama's chief of staff designate Rahm Emmanuel.
Either this is one very dense woman or she’s just way too skeptical, because Ros-Lehtinen again didn’t believe that the person on the other end of the line was who he claimed to be. So she hung up on Emmanuel, too. Said Ros-Lehtinen, "I said I really do appreciate it. I love these pranks more than anybody and I'm honored that you would prank me, but I'm gonna hang up." In order for it to actually get through to Ros-Lehtinen that Barack Obama really had called her, Howard Berman, chairman of the Foreign Affairs Committee, had to call her up (and amazingly, she believed that it really was Howard Berman – but not right away) and tell her that Obama really did call her. Even then, Ros-Lehtinen asked Berman to tell her an inside joke about a colleague that only they would know to make sure the phone call was legit. Seriously, who the hell does this woman think she is? Either you have an extremely inflated sense of self-worth or you are friends with a lot of 12-year-olds if you think you’re going to get that many prank calls. In evaluating her mistake and trying to explain why she’s such an idiot, Ros-Lehtinen stated, "I was just flabbergasted. I just hung up on the most powerful man on earth -- twice." And what was Obama calling for, anyhow? Well, he was attempting to congratulate Ros-Lehtinen on her re-election and to say he was looking forward to working with her as the ranking Republican member of the House Foreign Affairs committee. Yeah, well listen here, Mr. President-elect. Ileana Ros-Lehtinen doesn’t need your congratulations, so stop bothering her, okay? But Obama was able to laugh at the sleight and he made another call to Ros-Lehtinen, who managed not to hang up on him this time. In the aftermath of the double hang-up, Ros-Lehtinen fielded calls from angry constituents who think she hung up on Obama on purpose. No word on how many angry calls she received from constituents who were pissed off about being represented by a moron in Congress……
- This is exactly the type of thing I don’t want to hear about in regards to the Detroit Lions. I live in mortal terror that the Lions are going to inexplicably starting playing their asses off, making plays, showing heart and doing what it takes to win a game. Chief among the problems in them making a run at my (and many others’) dream of an 0-16 NFL season is coach Rod Marinelli, who for some reason seems to want his team to win a game. Thus, when the Lions assembled for a meeting Monday, Marinelli put the team picture on the big video screen in the locker room, accompanied by a message: that the Lions do not want that photo on exhibit at the Pro Football Hall of Fame in Canton, Ohio, to represent the NFL's first 0-16 team. "Where we're at right now, we need a win," Marinelli said. "I think they feel that urgency to go out and win. ... Each loss is a stake in your heart." No, no and no. You don’t need a win, that is your foolish pride and fear talking. Yes, there is always a fear of the unknown and because no one has gone 0-16 before, it’s uncharted territory. But don’t be afraid and don’t look at losses as stakes to the heart. For God’s sake, what are you, a vampire? No one thinks about stakes being driven through hearts unless they are a vampire or hunting vampires. The last thing we need is your “can do” attitude infecting your players and inspiring them to play hard, and that’s just what it looks like is happening. "Nobody wants to be 0-16," running back Aveion Cason said. "Nobody wants to be a part of history, man. You don't want to go to Canton that way." Well Aveion, none of you are going to Canton any other way, so it may as well be for going 0-16. In fact, you not only have a chance to make history, you have a chance to right one of the most hurtful wrongs in my history as a sports fan this Sunday. See, back in 2001, the same Detroit Lions fired out of the gate 0-12 and inexplicably won their 13th game by defeating the Minnesota Vikings behind the inexcusable efforts of backup quarterback Mike McMahon. 2001. The opponent for the Lions this Sunday? The Vikings, who they lost to 12-10 earlier this season. Thankfully, Aveion Cason will see next to no time on the field because he’s a lowly backup. His attitude really concerns me, as do comments like the following one that Cason relayed from one of Marinelli’s speeches to the team. "He said, 'We're not going 0-16,' " Cason said. "We're not going 0-16, man." Kicker Jason Hanson also chimed in and I have a feeling he may have a better grasp on the gravity of this situation. "Right now, something big is in front of us, and we have to do something about it. Again, whether we can or not, I don't know. But we should come out and look like a hard, great-effort football team and see what happens," Hanson declared. Now I’m going to ignore the sentences he spoke before making that comment and take what he said out of context so it appears that Hanson is agreeing with me. Because while he may maintain that he was speaking about the chance to avoid 0-16, I prefer to think that he realizes that an 0-16 season is that something big for the Lions, and yes they do have a chance to do something about it. What they can do is to keep doing what they have been doing, or more accurately, to keep not doing what they haven’t been doing. Immortality is yours, Lions, no matter what your coach seems to think, so doing screw this up…..
- The West Bank is no stranger to riots. As the epicenter of tensions between Jewish people and Muslims, the region is a regular site for mass violence. However, on special occasions something happens that rises above the norm and is cause enough for a special edition of….. Riot Watch! Riot Watch! Yes, it’s time for one of my favorite features, Riot Watch! This time, we look at Jewish who settlers are on what is being called a "terror" rampage in the West Bank city of Hebron. These settlers are extremely pissed off about the Israeli military's seizure of a disputed home. "What's happening in Hebron is terror by the settlers," Hebron’s mayor, Khaled Osaily, explained. "They are attacking houses, setting fire to property and injuring people."
And the problem is? Torching things? Destroying buildings? Throw in overturned cars, clashes with police and tear gas and you’ve got a solid riot, so what’s the issue? Oh, and a healthy dose of violence against opposing ethnic groups always boosts the quality of a riot, so what have you got in that category? Let’s see…well, some of the rioting settlers opened fire on Palestinians, critically injuring one, and five other Palestinians have been wounded in the rioting, so check that off the list as well. Things got off on the wrong foot when Israeli police and military forcibly removed a group of settlers from a disputed home in Hebron.
The settlers inside the residence were there despite court orders to vacate the house, which a Palestinian man claims belongs to him. As such, police felt compelled to step in and evict the settlers, which almost instantaneously ignited more fighting. The evicted settlers’ bags had barely hit the street in front of their now-former home when the rioting began. The violence was severe enough for the Israeli military declared the southern part of the West Bank, including the entire city of Hebron, a closed military zone. That’ll happen when you have angry Israeli settlers vandalizing Palestinian residences in the Hebron area, including setting fire to some homes. That precipitated police using….wait for it….wait for it…..yes, stun grenades and tear gas to subdue the rioting settlers. Awesome! Grenades and tear gas? Score! You know you have staged a quality riot when The Man breaks out the stun grenades and tear gas, no question about it.
Local leaders are bent on characterizing these settlers/rioters as a small sect of rebellious jerks who refuse to abide by the same rules as everyone else, and honestly, I don’t give a crap. Right or wrong, these people staged one heck of a riot and I tip my hat to them……
- Ready for another hollow, self-congratulatory, pompous, self-important awards show? While I realize that it’s been a preciously short amount of time since which ever awards show was held last week (there’s one every week, sometimes two), ready yourself for one of the lamest, most worthless of all awards shows, the Grammys. Widely recognized as a show that honors the same damn people every year and doesn’t have the kahones to stray off the mainstream and actually recognize artists who aren’t already popular, the Grammys figure to be more of the same this year. Don’t let the fact that from time to time, one or two of the artists that win a Grammy don’t suck distract you from the fact that most of them do. For example, this year,
rapper Lil Wayne garnered the most Grammy nominations, receiving eight, and a group that doesn’t suck, Coldplay, earned seven as the Recording Academy announced this year's nominees. Actually, Lil Wayne and Coldplay will be facing off for the album of the year award at the 51st annual Grammy Awards. Nominations
Other top nominees were rappers Jay-Z and Kanye West and R&B hack Ne-Yo, all of whom received six nominations. Other gawd-awful artists like country twanger Alison Krauss and Jazmine Sullivan (whoever the frak she is) received five each, as did mellow rocker John Mayer, former Led Zeppelin leader Robert Plant and Radiohead. To add an extra layer of pomposity and self-indulgence to the proceedings, the Grammys actually held a concert to announce the nominations, which was a first. Mayer, the Foo Fighters, emotional train wreck and well-past-her-mediocre-prime Mariah Carey performed at the show, as did teen country “singer” Taylor Swift, who honestly should not be performing anywhere that people could hear her, as she does sing country music. Ironically (partly because she performed at the concert and partly because she sucks and thus should have been guaranteed multiple nominations), Swift didn't receive a single nomination. Even though her albums, including one she released last month whose name I don’t care enough to look up, weren't eligible for the competition, she did release several singles during the Grammy consideration window, which ran from October 2007 to September. But hey, there was a nomination for the latest Gwen Stefani rip-off, Katy Perry (and if there’s anyone you want to emulate musically, by all means, it’s a legendary, talented and iconic artist like the great Gwen Stefani, she of amazing hits like…..like…..never mind, moving on) , who earned a nomination for best female pop vocal performance.
Other nods went to hack jobs like Duffy, who was nominated for three Grammys, including best new artist, Adele (record of the year) and Leona Lewis, whose sickening pop single “Bleeding Love” would have driven me insane if I actually listened to mainstream radio and had to hear it for more than a few seconds standing in line at a restaurant or waiting in an office. One actually good artist who did score several nominations was Radiohead, so good for them. But mostly or totally left out were artists who released kick-ass albums this nomination period such as the Black Keys, What Made Milwaukee Famous, Tokio Hotel, Tokyo Police Club, the Weepies, Metro Station, We The Kings, the Raconteurs, the Hives, Vampire Weekend, Fleet Foxes, etc……..shocker…….
- This ranks right up there with seeing the Loch Ness Monster, riding a unicorn, visiting Atlantis and having lunch with Elvis and Jimmy Hoffa as life events you never thought you would experience. Seeing O.J. Simpson going through an actual sentencing hearing for a rime he has actually been convicted of is surreal to say the least. Yet there was the Juice, sitting in a Las Vegas courtroom awaiting sentencing on convictions for armed robbery and kidnapping. The Juice’s lawyers have argued that he deserves leniency in sentencing as he is a ….hang on, trying to suppress a laugh….trying….okay….first-time offender who showed no criminal intent. I’m sorry, but attorney Gabriel Grasso, how can you make that argument with a straight face? O.J. Simpson a first-time offender. That’s like saying a dude who gets drunk, drives home from the bar without seeing a cop and then gets pulled over for drunk driving when he repeats the feat the next weekend is a first-time drunk driver. Just because the Juice doesn’t have a conviction on his record doesn’t mean that he’s not a double murderer and that he didn’t turn his ex-wife and her boyfriend into human Pez dispensers. But moving on…..Grasso argued that Simpson should receive the minimum sentence, six years, because of the aforementioned reasons. He acknowledged that Simpson “clearly….was not using good judgment" during a 2007 hotel room confrontation over sports memorabilia. Judge Jackie Glass didn’t buy Simpson’s argument, and in her remarks at senctencing she excoriated the Juice, his attorneys and co-defendant Clarence "C.J." Stewart, both of whom were sentenced on 12 charges, including conspiracy to commit a crime, robbery, assault and kidnapping with a deadly weapon. Judge Glass was all business and noted that what Simpson had done went well beyond simple stupidity, as he had argued, and that he staged and participated in a violent, dangerous crime that fortunately ended without anyone getting shot. Thus, she hit Simpson and Stewart with near-maximum sentences, with the Juice headed to prison for as many as 18 years. He could be paroled in 5-6 years, but somehow I don’t see the parole process going in his favor. His deal with the devil to get away with anything he does on this Earth has clearly expired and despite the dismayed, disbelieving look on O.J.’s face during sentencing, his new reality is prison. It’s a day I never thought I’d see and although Judge Glass insisted her sentencing had nothing to do with retribution for the 1994 jury in the Juice’s murder case having a collective brain fart and wrongfully acquitting him, it was nice to see him finally receive some jail time, given that he’s pretty much the worst guy ever. It will never cease to be amazing that a dude can (allegedly) murder two people and go free, yet try to take back gear that belongs to him (albeit via illegal means) and the latter offense is what sends him to prison. Thanks for proving that the justice system works at least some of the time, Jackie Glass, well done…..
No comments:
Post a Comment