Friday, December 26, 2008

Life getting worse for Plaxico Burress, W. fouls up a pardon (stunner) and Germans attack pirates so I attack Germans

- To quote Scooby Doo, “Ruh roh!” Life definitely isn’t getting better for Plaxico Burress, and there’s a decided chance that it is about to get much worse. Already charged with two counts of second-degree criminal possession of the gun with which he shot himself in the Latin Quarter nightclub in Manhattan on November 28, Burress had his home searched by police this week. Investigators found a 9 mm handgun, a rifle, ammunition and clothing, all of which were confiscated during a search of Burress’ home on Wednesday. Included in the confiscated clothing were the sneakers and blood-stained jeans worn by Burress when he accidentally shot himself in the leg. All of the items were found at the expansive Totowa, New Jersey home where Burress lives. Police say that at this point it’s unclear whether Burress has permits for the weapons found in his home Tuesday. If he doesn’t, then his life is about to take another turn for the worse, with additional charges likely to be filed. Oh, and I have to imagine that Burress’ wife, who was present during the search, can’t be too happy about having to watch as the cops tore through her home and rifled through drawers, closets, furniture, etc. Think she might hold it against her husband for being the cause of that experience? But hey, at least she had company. Also present were New York Police Department officers, investigators from the Manhattan district attorney's office, Totowa police and an associate from the office of Burress’ attorney, Benjamin Brafman. Oh, and Burress is still facing up to 15 years in prison if convicted on the two counts he currently faces, so there’s always that to fall back on. That and the fact that his team, the New York Giants, appear fed up with all of his antics and ready to be rid of him. The team suspended Burress for the regular season's four remaining games and placed him on the reserve/non-football injury list, which ended his season. Quite a fall for a guy who caught the winning touchdown pass in the Super Bowl just eleven months ago, yet was fined and suspended from the Giants’ October 5 game for reportedly missing a practice without notifying the team and fined $45,000 by the NFL after an October 19 game during which he argued with a referee and threw a football into the stands. Happy holidays, Plaxico, hope your life is as joyous up close as it appears to be from afar……

- Why does this not surprise me? Coming to the end of an abortion of an eight years in office, W. is going on in very W. fashion, finding a way to f’up the requisite slate of presidential pardons that every outgoing Commander in Chief doles out on his way out the door of the Oval Office. Just a couple of days after handing out 19 presidential pardons, on Wednesday W. ordered one of those pardons to be re-examined before making a final decision. The pardon in question was for Isaac R. Toussie, a 36-year-old New York developer who pleaded guilty in 2001 to making false statements in a Long Island mortgage fraud scheme. An all-around good guy who I’m sure is simply misunderstood, Toussie and his father were accused of conspiring with lenders and others to build and sell substandard homes. W. was all set to pardon Toussie, but according to a senior administration official, the White House learned new information about Toussie's case Tuesday night -- only hours after announcing his pardon. This new information is being called "additional information about the nature of fraud [Toussie] carried out." Call me crazy, but isn’t that supposed to be the sort of thing you consider before deciding who to pardon. This isn’t some term paper for your freshman history class in college that you wait until two hours before it’s due to really get cracking on - it’s a freaking presidential pardon. Feel free to do a little research before deciding who to pardon, W. I’m not 100 percent certain, but there isn’t an ongoing investigation into Toussie’s case, so all of the known information about it is the same now as it was several months ago. Thus, this “additional” information is something you and your staff could have known - if you weren’t a dunder-headed ass with an IQ of 47 and the worst president in U.S. history. And just what is this new information, anyhow? Well, it appears that Toussie's father made numerous contributions to leading Republican politicians in 2008, including almost $40,000 to Arizona Sen. John McCain, Minnesota Sen. Norm Coleman, Oregon Sen. Gordon Smith, and Virginia Rep. Eric Cantor.
After all this scumbag has done, the deciding factor is his father making campaign contributions to other members of your party? Maybe you should have held off on announcing that he would receive a pardon until you were sure, W. Now will someone please help me put up my “Countdown to the End of the Worst Presidency in World History” wall calendar so I can start counting off the final days of this abortion……

- What says “feel-good holiday movie” quite like a Nazi drama about killing the world’s most brutal and heinous dictator to ever live? Furthermore, who doesn’t love a Nazi drama starring a total nut job who likes jumping on couches, berating people he barely knows for the medication they take and attempting to cram Scientology down to throats of those he meets? That’s why I think “Valkyrie,” the latest film from confirmed psychopath and the man who destroyed all that was good about nice, sweet Katie Holmes, Tom Cruise. This is a movie that was constantly beset by drama during production, mostly because of Cruise’s ego trips, but one that finally got made and thank God for that, because if a man plotting to kill Adolf Hitler doesn’t brighten your yuletide spirit, I don’t know what will. Cruise stars as Col. Claus von Stauffenberg, a German famous to his countrymen for his resistance to the Nazi reign of terror but less known outside the country. After coming up as a respected, loyal soldier and reaching the rank of officer, von Stauffenberg become increasingly unhappy with the Führer's leadership, with that dissatisfaction growing exponentially after the colonel suffered several severe wounds suffered during battle in Tunisia, where he lost a hand and an eye. Seeing Stauffenberg’s assassination plan come together, with help from a network of dissident army officers and political leaders, was mildly interesting, but Cruise’s portrayal of the conniving colonel was less than stellar, to say the least. As any history buff knows, the real-life plan to plant a bomb in Hitler's presence on July 20, 1944 failed because the bomb did little damage and the Nazi leader survived with minor scratches. His loyal followers shut down the coup and Stauffenberg lost his life because of it, along with scores of others. The movie is likewise a failure, with director Singer trying unsuccessfully to blend the conspiracy thriller and history genres. What’s surprising is that such a mediocre movie could come from a script written by Christopher McQuarrie, who penned a legendary film like The Usual Suspects. The best part of the movie is the continual string of striking, jarring and realistic visual imagery, but that isn’t enough to prop up a mostly lackluster performance by the cast. In other words, go see one of the other new films out this holiday season and you’re very likely to do better than you would by seeing this clunker…..

- Fans of good music, I’ve got a destination for you…..assuming you have the spare cash to travel to Europe this summer and pay for a ticket to the 2009 FIB Heineken Benicassim Festival. If you fit those criteria, you’ll want to mark your calendar for July 16-19 and set your GPS for Spain, where great acts like Kings of Leon, Franz Ferdinand and former Jam front man Paul Weller will headline. The 2009 festival will be the 15th annual Benicassim event, and it has become a definite favorite with international music fans, especially from the United Kingdom and Ireland. Last year, the event drew 150,000 fans to its site on Spain's east coast in 2008 to see a fantastic lineup that included Leonard Cohen, Morrissey, My Bloody Valentine, The Raconteurs, Babyshambles and the Ting Tings. London-based live music entrepreneur Vince Power (real name? I think not) has a controlling interest in the event, which he can devote a lot of time to since selling his stake in the Mean Fiddler Music Group, which he founded in the United Kingdom, to Live Nation and Irish promoter Denis Desmond in 2005. At this point, you need to hurry if you want tickets for the festival, as A limited number of advance tickets for Benicassim are available via online ticketing giants seetickets and lastminute until Jan. 15. After that, finding a ducat will be much tougher and more expensive, but if you can make it, it should be a stellar show…..

- Y’know, I’ve never really liked the Germans. Sure, they make some bitchin’ lederhosen and tasty bratwurst, but beyond that I’m not sure they have that many redeeming qualities. That hypothesis was backed up the instant I learned that German sailors foiled an attempt by pirates to hijack an Egyptian cargo ship off the coast of Yemen, yesterday. The offending Krauts are crew members of the German navy frigate Karlsruhe, which inexplicably received and responded to an emergency call from the Wabi Al Arab Thursday morning. How Good Samaritan of you, Karlsruhe crew. Did you stop to help any old ladies cross the street in on your way to help the Wabi Al Arab? Have you no respect for the hard work pirates are doing, stealing things that don’t belong to them and holding them for ransom? What gives you the right to send helicopters to the distressed vessel? Thanks to your stupid helicopters, these pirates were forced to break off their attack and a hard day’s pirating on the open seas went to waste. All they got out of it was the chance to wound one crew member on the Wabi Al Arab, that’s it. On top of that, the German sailors captured the pirates and disarmed them, destroying the weapons. Great, so not only did you foil their attack, but you kept on harassing them and destroyed their weapons? Shiver me timbers, that’s terrible. Thankfully, the German government in Berlin had the good sense to order the Somali pirates released because they were not caught while harassing German interests. Good to know that no all Germans are pirate-hating ass hats…….

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