- Last week I wondered about the reason for a break in the run of new Prison Break episodes, with this Monday providing an unwelcome interruption in a string of the five remaining new episodes. Well, now that I know the reason, some of you might think that I’m feeling a little bit foolish, given the fact that the State of the Union speech is the reason for this situation. After all, it’s the President of the United States addressing the nation, so that’s got to trump a new episode of Prison Break, right? Wrong. Now that I know the reason, I’m even more pissed than I was before. My favorite shows aren’t on because that ass hat W. is hogging every major network, going on for more than an hour, mangling the English language, spouting lies and half-truths and fumbling through a speech someone else wrote for him? I’m missing PB so I can hear a president on his way out talk about what a mess he’s made of our country? Thank God there’s college basketball and some pro wrestling on, because either of those is a far superior choice to W. The State of the Union address is compounded in its horr-a because the idiots there to hear the speech in person stand up and applaud every time the president says two words. If there was ever a time to be grateful for the advent of cable television, tomorrow night would be it. I may not have the show I really want to watch on, but I have lots of other alternatives that are better than W., including the Food Network, QVC, ESPN, ESPN2, ESPN Classic, ESPNEWS, Lifetime, TNT, TBS, CSTV, NFL Network, ABC Family, Fox Sports, Hallmark Channel, History Channel, MTV, MTV2…….
- Guess what should have happened yesterday? If you said the Super Bowl, you’re right? Someone, anyone, please explain to me why it’s a good idea for the NFL to wait two freaking weeks between the conference championship games and the Super Bowl. It sure can’t be because there’s enough to talk about during those two weeks to build interest for the big game, because Lord knows we ran out of pertinent points to discuss midway through last week when images of Tom Brady traipsing around the Upper East side were running nonstop on news outlets. It can’t be because the teams need two weeks to prepare, because NFL teams prepare for games all year, including the playoffs, with one week or less to get ready. It also can’t be because you need an extra week to build the buzz for the game, because it’s the f’ing Super Bowl. If people aren’t already interested with one week of prep time, I really don’t think you’re going to win them over with an extra week of speculation about whether or not Tom Brady is walking with a noticeable limp at s Super Bowl rally held in Boston to send off the Patriots with a boost to Glendale. I’m as big of a football fan as anyone, but I can say truthfully that having that extra week before the game kills a lot of the buzz and severely dampens my enthusiasm for the Bowl. By the time it finally gets here, I’m pissed and just ready for it to be done with already because we’ve been talking about the damn thing for two weeks.
- Boy, you know there are a lot of pissed off degenerate gamblers out there right now. Never mind that a fire hit the 32-floor Monte Carlo Casino and Resort in Las Vegas and may have done serious damage to the structure. Never mind that debris rained down from the building and forced the evacuation of many. You can be sure that there were more than a few losers who had the perfect hand when the fire hit and didn’t get to play that hand out because they were forced to evacuate. I would feel bad for the casino, but a) they have insurance, I’m sure, and b) they’re suckering degenerate gamblers out of millions of dollars a day. I’m glad to hear that no one was hurt, but as it turns out, your money may not be the only thing you’re gambling with when you make a trip to Vegas. Your health and safety may also be at risk depending on where you stay.
- Because I’m now an avowed X-Games junkie, here are the results from Winter X 12, held last week on Buttermilk Mountain in Aspen, Colo.
SNOWBOARD RESULTS
MEN'S SUPERPIPE
Medals: Gold: Shaun White | Silver: Ryoh Aono | Bronze: Kevin Pearce
How it went down: In the finale event of WXG12, 21-year-old Shaun White earned his record 12th Winter X medal with a gold in SuperPipe.
WOMEN'S SUPERPIPE
Medals: Gold: Gretchen Bleiler | Silver: Torah Bright | Bronze: Kelly Clark
How it went down: Hometown hero and ESPN The Magazine covergirl, Gretchen Bleiler, won on a night when new trick after new trick for women’s snowboarding was pulled out by competitors, and in the process she was able to add another gold to her collection.
MEN'S SLOPESTYLE
Medals: Gold: Andreas Wiig | Silver: Kevin Pearce | Bronze: Shaun White
How it went down: Shaun White broke his board, switched to a new stick and settled for bronze. Heikki Sorsa wowwed us by popping out of his binding mid-run (on purpose) and landing a jump, although it only got him fifth place. Long story short, Heavenly's Andreas Wiig quietly defended his slopestyle title.
WOMEN’S SLOPESTYLE
Medals: Gold: Jamie Anderson | Silver: Claudia Fliri | Bronze: Spencer O'Brien
How it went down: When the slope's veteran dominatrix Janna Meyen didn't qualify, the young gun, 16-year-old Jamie Anderson soared to her second gold medal in as many years.
MEN'S BIG AIR
Medals: Gold: Torstein Horgmo | Silver: Kevin Pearce
How it went down: It boiled down to Horgmo, the Trondheim, Norway native and Winter X newcomer, who landed a sick switch 1260 and outdid Pearce when it counted.
MEN'S SNOWBOARDER X
Medals: Gold: Nate Holland | Silver: Markus Schairer | Bronze: David Speiser
How it went down: Shaun Palmer faltered and allowed Nate Holland to grab his third consecutive gold with an excalamation point.
WOMEN'S SNOWBOARDER X
Medals: Gold: Lindsey Jacobellis | Silver: Tanja Fredien | Bronze: Sandra Frei
How it went down: Lindsey Jacobellis fended off Dominique Maltais and her finish line demons from the Olmypics and last year’s Winter X for her first X gold in three years.
SKI RESULTS
MEN'S SUPERPIPE
Medals: Gold: Tanner Hall | Silver: Simon Dumont | Bronze: Colby West
How it went down: In the latest Simon v. Tanner duel, Tanner Hall was a mere 1.3 points better, earning a pipe three-peat and his seventh gold medal -- the most for any athlete in Winter X history.
WOMEN'S SUPERPIPE
Medals: Gold: Sarah Burke | Silver: Mirjam Jaeger | Bronze: Jen Hudak
How it went down: Sarah Burke was never seriously challenged and earned one of the less-contested medals at this year’s games, her second consecutive SuperPipe gold.
MEN'S BIG AIR
Medals: Gold: Jon Olsson
How it went down: The return of Big Air to X Games was a huge success, by far one of the most exciting events of the week. Jon Olsson's Kangaroo Flip earned him his first X gold medal since 2001.
MEN'S SLOPESTYLE
Medals: Gold: Andreas Hatveit | Silver: Jossi Wells | Bronze: Jon Olsson How it went down: Norwegian Andreas Hatveit came through on his last run of the competition to beat out New Zealander Jossi Wells for the top prize.
MONO SKIER X
Medals: Gold: Kees-Jan van der Klooster | Silver: Tyler Walker | Bronze: Chris Devlin-Young
How it went down: K-J van der Klooster picked up his first X Games medal in dominating fashion. The next two spots on the podium went to familiar faces, but the night belonged to the Norwegian.
MEN'S SKIER X
Medals: Gold: Daron Rahlves | Silver: Stanley Hayer | Bronze: Casey Puckett
How it went down: The course ate up skier after skier, but veteran Daron Rahlves topped Canadian Stanley Hayer and defending X Games gold medalist Casey Puckett to take the gold in a wreck-filled day on the slopes.
WOMEN'S SKIER X
Medals: Gold: Ophelie David | Silver: Hedda Bernsten | Bronze: Magdalena Jonsson
How it went down: France's Ophelie David managed to repeated last year's golden performance with a solid, no-mistakes run.
SPEED & STYLE
Medals: Gold: Levi LaVallee | Silver: Sam Rogers | Bronze: Joe Parsons
How it went down: In the first appearance of this new snowmobile discipline at Winter X, rising star Levi LaVallee picked up the first gold medal in his quest for a sweep of all three sled events.
SNOCROSS
Medals: Gold: Tucker Hibbert | Silver: Brett Turcotte | Bronze: D.J. Eckstrom
How it went down: LaVallee’s quest for his second gold fell apart after he fell off his sled, but the race was dominated by Tucker Hibbert, who repeated as SnoCross champion finishing the 12-lap race well ahead of the field.
FREESTYLE
Medals: Gold: Levi LaVallee | Silver: Joe Parsons | Bronze: Heath Frisby
How it went down: Four medals, including three gold, have to make for a happy Levi LeValle, the most golden guy on a sled.
- Boy, I didn’t think the current administration in charge of this country gave a damn about the environment. Seriously, name one thing W. and his posse of tools have done to positively impact the environment….just as I thought, you can’t think of a single one. Thus, I’m flat-out stunned that a Reno, Nev. woman is being prosecuted by the government for allegedly cutting down three century-old trees on federally protected land near Lake Tahoe. The best part of this is the reason why she felled the tall timbers: they were blocking her view. Awesome. To hell with the environment, to hell with trees that are historic and federally protected, they’re blocking my view of the lake, dammit, and I’m rich enough to have them torn down. Good thinking, ace. Normally I’m all for giving a middle finger to the government, but in this case, your rich a** is out of line. Rich people feel so entitled and arrogant that most of the time, they’re just as loathsome as the government. Enjoy your hefty fine, lady, hope that was worth the trouble.
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