Friday, January 18, 2008

America is still not smart, Pakistan riots and JamesOn Curry takes a leak in a bad place

- Unlike every other player in the NBA's developmental league, the NBDL, JamesOn Curry doesn't seem like he's that focused on getting out of the D-League and back to the NBA. How do I know that? Well, if dude were really set on getting back to the big leagues, he wouldn't be getting arrested and charged with public urination and resisting arrest in Boise, Idaho. Curry was in Boise for the D-League showcase, an event designed to show off the league's top talents and boost interest in its teams and players. Instead, Curry ended up stealing the show by showing off a total lack of common decency and intelligence, getting picked up by the cops for urinating in an alley behind the Hampton Inn where he was staying. Taking a leak in public is bad enough; after all, doesn't your hotel room have a toilet, bro? Use it. But if you're going to go bonehead and urinate in public and the cops happen to catch you in the act, what you don't want to do is try to run. You're on foot, they're in a car. They have radios, you clearly have a partially deficient brain to guide you. You're not winning that battle, JamesOn. Curry was a second-round draft pick of the Chicago Bulls in the 2007 NBA Draft, but is currently playing with the NBDL's Iowa Energy. This isn't going to provide much incentive for the Bulls to call him up to their roster now, is it? JamesOn, you're a professional athlete, so start acting like one and stop acting like a hobo living on the street. Find a toilet and make use of it, otherwise you're going to literally piss away your chance to play in the NBA.

- Now I'm torn. I'm still pissed at the Writers Guild of America and the American Motion Picture and Theater Producers for the respective roles in the ongoing strike that has now officially killed this TV season. However, the news that the Grammy Awards show may be in danger of cancellation if the WGA doesn't relent and reach a temporary agreement with the Grammys to allow striking writers to work on the shoe puts me in a difficult position. I can't really support the writers now, not when they've dealt a death blow to this season for all of my favorite shows. Still, I loathe self-congratulatory, self-important, self-aggrandiizing awards shows in the entertainment industry, especially the Grammys. As a music lover, I can't stand seeing the same hack, mainstream artists get the same awards year after year while music's truly great acts get little or no recognition. I don't need to see a Grammy performance by Fergie or Kelly Clarkson any more than I need to suffer second-degree burns over two-thirds of my body and have my right arm chopped off. So where to come down on this issue? Thankfully it looks like it won't be a tough call, as WGA spokesman Greg Mitchell says that such a temporary deal is "unlikely to be approved." In other words, the Grammys are going to have to go the way of the Golden Globes, i.e. handing out the awards at a special luncheon where next to no one shows up. This strike still sucks and so does everyone involved in it, but at least when it comes to awards shows there are some positive things to come from this whole mess.

- I'm not sure if Major League Baseball has a "lemon" law for players involved in trades, but the Houston Astros might want to look into it because of their big offseason acquisition, shortstop Miguel Tejada. Tejada is now under FBI scrutiny, officials said Thursday after opening a preliminary investigation into whether the former AL MVP lied when he told federal authorities he never took steroids and performance-enhancing drugs. The inquiry, in response to a congressional request, will examine facts around the case but doesn't mean that Tejada will definitely be charged with a crime. "The Justice Department has referred the Miguel Tejada matter to the FBI, and a preliminary inquiry will be conducted," FBI spokesman Richard Kolko said Thursday. Investigators with the FBI's field office in Washington will handle the inquiry, but at this point it's not clear how long the process will take. Stunningly, Miggy T. didn't have anything to say about it, issuing a no-comment response through his lawyer. "I don't have any comment," said Tejada's lawyer, Mark Tuohey, who said he was unaware of the FBI's involvement until contacted by The Associated Press. At the center of this whole mess are comments Tejada made to House committee investigators in August 2005 when he was with the Baltimore Orioles. He denied during the interview that he used illegal performance-enhancing drugs or knew of other players using or talking about steroids. However, he was then among a number of star athletes named in a lengthy report by former Senate Majority Leader George Mitchell, released last month, that looked at drug use in baseball. The Houston Astros, the team that acquired Tejada in a trade during the current off-season, also had no comment on news that the FBI is now investigating Tejada. Drayton McLane, the Astros owner, was attending the baseball owners' meeting in Scottsdale, Ariz., and was not immediately available for comment. Allow me to comment for the Astros and their owner. "Damn, we just traded for a guy who might be going to jail, a 'roider whose production is starting to seriously decline and a guy who is giving our franchise a huge black eye before he plays a single game for us." There, Mr. McLane, glad I could help you. Moving on, this couldn't come at a worse time for Tejada. He was in the Dominican Republic for the funeral of his brother, who died Tuesday in a motorcycle accident there, when he got the news. No jokes about this part of the story, because having that happen, no matter if you're a good guy or not, would be devastating. Thoughts and prayers to the Tejada family. But back to the steroids mess...."It's important we determine whether Mr. Tejada misled an investigative committee of the House of Representatives," said Rep. Tom Davis of Virginia, the top Republican on the House Oversight committee. "It's also important that those who come before the committee understand we are serious when we tell them they must tell the truth or face serious penalties." So the FBI will break down Tejada's interview with congressional aides, held Aug. 26, 2005, at a Baltimore hotel in connection with an inquiry over whether his then-teammate, Rafael Palmeiro, had used steroids. Palmeiro had denied during House testimony in March that year that he had used steroids, then tested positive later in 2005 and was suspended for 10 days. He tried to foist blame off of himself and onto the nearest target by saying the positive result may have resulted from a B-12 vitamin injection given to him by Tejada. The House Oversight and Government Committee this week asked Attorney General Michael Mukasey to investigate Tejada's statements, parts of which were included in a letter to the Justice Department. "Has there been discussion among other players about steroids?" a committee staffer asked, according to the letter. "No, I never heard," Tejada replied. "You never knew of any other player using steroids?" Tejada was asked. "No," he replied. "Have you ever taken a steroid before?" he was asked at another point. "No," he said. Tejada also answered "no" when asked if he had ever taken any illegal performance-enhancing drugs or any other steroid precursor. Oops. Looks like maybe by "no," Miggy meant "No, not unless you can prove it, and even then I might not admit to it." The damning evidence in the Mitchell report includes statements by Adam Piatt, Tejada's former teammate with the Oakland Athletics, who said he gave Tejada steroids and HGH in 2003. Mitchell also included copies of checks allegedly written by Tejada to Piatt in March 2003 for $3,100 and $3,200. Oops again. Those copies of checks will do you in every time, Miguel. That's why you always pay cash for illegal substances, my man. Your local crack dealer doesn't accept checks and you should not be writing them for your 'roids, er, B-12 shots. Making false statements to Congress is a felony, so this clearly could end very badly for Tejada. Houston, you have a problem....your new star player is a lying, Congress-misleading (possible) felon.....

- Nice try, Pakistani government. As the country prepares for next month's national elections, the current regime is urging opposition leaders to refrain from holding any protests because of what the administration claims is an escalating threat of terrorism in Pakistan. A likely story, especially coming from those already in power. Don't rally or protest, there's a major terrorist threat and we don't want to escalate things. Either that or we want to stay in power and keep opposition groups from rallying and generating support, enthusiasm and momentum for their battle to remove us from power. Thankfully, opposition leader Nawaz Sherif quickly rejected this ridiculous idea, accusing the administration of trying to block his party's campaign against President Pervez Musharraf. You can't be surprised that a leader would make such a thinly-veiled, lame attempt to quash opposition in the weeks leading up to an election, but you didn't really think anyone would buy your sorry plan, did you P.? Your people aren't happy with the direction you're taking their country and if they want to rally and protest to show their opposition to you, then it's going to happen whether you like it or not.

- Could it be, America? Are you really getting smarter? I'm going with no, even though I am encouraged that the audience for this week's season premier of TV's biggest abomination, American Karaoke, was the show's smallest in four years. The fact that 4 million fewer people tuned in to see this glorified karaoke contest with a bunch of losers with no musical ability is good, but there are still far too many people out there watching this crap for me to be too encouraged, Last I checked, Clay Flake-en was still a waifish, effeminate loser who sang gawd-awful teenie-bopper pop, that fat dude Ruben was still a musical joke and Kelly Clarkson was still a lip-syncing Christina Aguilera wannabe. Unless those things have changed (and they haven't) and unless the show is no longer run by three attention-hungry judges whose really interest in appearing on the show is furthering their own careers (it isn't), then it's still the worst show on TV and the biggest abortion in the history of music. It is often difficult to say where you would have been in life had a certain event not taken place, but I can say with absolute certainty that if American Karaoke had never come into being, we would all be infinitely better off.

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