- Someone really needs to explain to me how the frak Arkansas is anywhere near the NCAA Tournament. This mediocre, uninspiring squad blundered through the regular season, thoroughly underwhelming everyone to the point that their head coach, Stan Heath, was rumored to be on the chopping block unless his team won the Southeastern Conference tournament. But the Razorbacks win their opening round game and eventually make it to the tourney final, where they are blown out by Florida, and suddenly they’re NCAA material? Huh? Play like crap all year, just get enough wins to look marginally viable and have a surprising run in your conference tournament and you’re welcome in our tournament seems to be the sentiment from the NCAA. I look forward to seeing you booted out of the tournament on your ass the first game, Arkansas, so I hope you enjoy your entirely undeserved extension of your season.
- Man, this is going to hurt the prospects for their reality TV show. Rob and Amber, the couple that have made a life out of the disgusting spectacle that is reality TV, were eliminated from The Amazing Race on Sunday’s episode, and I’m not all that sad to see them go, but not for the reasons you might think. I’ve had a real issue with these two leeches ever since they used their notoriety of meeting and falling in love on Survivor to crash Amazing Race, one of the only decent reality shows on. You want to pollute Survivor with your narcissistic, self-promoting act, fine, but don’t go ruining a good show. Yet they did just that and because of their success the first time, they were invited back for Amazing Race: All-Stars. Yet they couldn’t hack it on this week’s episode and were eliminated in South America, losing out on the last spot to that annoying lawyer bitch and her oompla loompa midget cousin. Adios, Rob and Amber, take your self-promoting shtick somewhere else.
- Been concerned about the recent lag in random people declaring their intent to run for president in 2008? For a while there, we had about four a day throwing their hat in the ring, then all of the sudden the supply dried up and we were coming dangerously close to resigning ourselves to the candidates we already had and actually having to start examining who these bozos were and what they stood for. Fear not, however, as actor Fred Thompson has announced that he’s considering a run for prez, and he actually has a political background. For 10 years, Thompson was a U.S. senator from Tennessee, and honestly he is probably no less qualified than most of the other 782 candidates who have decided to run for a nomination this time around. Plus, he has fake legal experience, having played a district attorney on Law &Order. I would say that a good measuring stick was to judge Thompson against our current president and see how he stacks up, but let’s be honest: a drunken, stoned woodchuck with a learning disability would stack up favorably to the guy currently sitting in the Oval Office.
- This is government in action, functioning at its highest level. The Food and Drug Administration has established new rules for preventing food poisoning in freshly cut produce, but companies are not required to follow said rules. Instead, produce companies are “urged” to adopt the new guidelines, which are theoretically similar to the rules the meat processing industry is governed by. Disease scares courtesy of tomatoes, spinach, lettuce, cantaloupes, mushrooms and spinach in recent months prompted the new regulations, but unlike the meat industry, the produce industry’s rules are voluntary. Nothing demands that someone clean up their act quite like throwing down the gauntlet with new rules that are more or less suggestions. “You’d better stop producing products that make people sick and kill them, or else we’ll…..we’ll…….do nothing. Yeah, that’s right, don’t make us mad!” These kinds of decisions are why I absolutely love our government, because who wants an effective governing body that actively protects the well being of its citizens and enforces the rules it creates? Not me!
- Wow. Someone isn't running for president. Sen. Chuck Hagel, R.-Neb., has decided against running for the Republican nomination in ’08, electing (pun intended) to focus on his Congressional duties. I find this particularly stunning because scores of senators and representatives are eschewing their duties to go out and campaign for president, yet Hagel wants to hang around Washington and actually try to find a way out of what he termed “the mess in Iraq” that W. has created. Kudos to you, Chuck, although it does seem fundamentally absurd to praise someone just for doing what they were elected to do. Oh well, maybe his example will inspire at least a few dozen others to follow suit. Here’s hoping………
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