Joey Dorsey can't back up his smack, but neither can a guy claiming to have smallpox

- Someone needs to get Joey Dorsey a towel, because right now, dude has a whole lot of egg on his face. The big-mouthed Memphis University forward ran a lot of smack prior to today’s contest against top-ranked Ohio State about OSU center Greg Oden being overrated and Dorsey himself being underrated. He also claimed he was like Goliath and Oden was “the little guy”, ostensibly forgetting that Goliath actually lost the battle. Personally, I think Dorsey is accurately rated, because he’s decent player who receives a lot of favorable words from those broadcasting Memphis games. However, when slightly above-average players start running their mouths, running their MOUTHS….then they go out in their team’s biggest game of the season and lay a zero-point, X-rebound game while the opposing player they criticized as being “overrated” goes for 1X points and rebounds while leading his team to a resounding 92-76 win, the smack talking “underrated” player looks like a giant horse’s ass. Thus, Dorsey and his snarky ‘tude need to go away and enjoy the offseason while Oden and his crew march on to the Final Four. Well done, Joey, you’ve proven that you are: 1) a guy who doesn’t know when to shut up, 2) not very intelligent and 3) a choker who comes up small in big games. Hope you enjoy watching OSU compete for a national championship, chump.

- You can get on an airplane if you’re a mentally unstable whack job who incites panic by claiming he has smallpox, but you can't carry a 4 oz. tube of toothpaste on a plane. Makes sense, right? A man aboard a US Airways flight from New Orleans to Charlotte claimed to have smallpox, even though the disease was eradicated in the U.S. in 1980. He was taken to a local medical center following a quarantine of the plane, and shockingly, the man was found to not have smallpox. But nice to know that someone unstable enough to make a claim like that can't board a plane freely, but don’t you dare try to stick a normal-sized tube of toothpaste or mouthwash in your carry-on bag.

- Sounds to me like Anthony Albert Gomez of Minneapolis has been watching a little too many Godfather movies lately. Drawing on the scene from the popular movie series where a severed horse head is placed in a bed for intimidation purposes, Gomez (this is graphic) decapitated his ex-girlfriend’s dog and left the severed head on her front porch in a gift wrapped box. This sick frrrrreak either thought he was funny or was trying to seriously scare his ex, but ultimately he’s the one facing animal cruelty and torture charges. Oh, and his girlfriend is still a teenager, so this loser not only murdered his ex-girlfriend’s dog, but he did so to mess with the head of someone who’s not even old enough to drink. The unidentified young woman has to be badly shaken up about this whole mess, but one positive is that she is undoubtedly, undeniably better off not having a piece of crap like Gomez as her boyfriend.

- Menu Foods and its subsidiaries had better hope their “cuts and gravy and rat poision” style pet foods have made their last appearance on store shelves. Menu is a ginormous conglomerate with 95 subsidiaries who recently recalled a large quantity of pet food after reports of at least 16 cat and dog deaths surfaced as a result of eating the contaminated food stuffs. The best part of all this is that the company is claiming it doesn’t know how the poisonous substance once used to induce abortions in the United States made its way into the food, but that Menu will take responsibility for all medical costs incurred as a result of eating its pet food. Still, how in the world is a poison like this anywhere near the production of food for anyone, even if it is animals? Can anyone explain that to me? Someone? No, didn’t think so.

- On the upside, at least progress is being made in locating the source of renegade spinach that caused a national E. coli outbreak. A cattle farm near California’s central coastline is believed to be responsible for the E. coli scare, which sickened more than 200 people. Authorities found the bacteria at the Pacines Ranch in San Benito County, near a field the ranch leased to a company called Mission Organics. Maybe they should be changing their name to Mission: Food-Borne Illness………Now, everyone is pointing fingers and trying to shift responsibility for the E. coli problem, with neither the ranch nor Mission Organics wanting to step up and assume blame. Just to be safe, I’m going to go ahead and keep avoiding spinach for the next fifty years or so, as has been my policy thus far in life. It’s worked out well up to this point……