NBA hypocrisy, another cruise ship incident and another reason American Karaoke sucks

- Reason #4,801,744 that American Karaoke has sucks, has always sucked and will always sucks for as long as its miserable existence continues: Taylor Hicks, who I am told won the last rendition of that moronic “talent” contest passed off as a reality TV show, released an album in December. By all accounts, his album was unremarkable and pedestrian, and stunner of all stunners, it has already dropped out of Billboard’s Top 100. That’s right, even though a quality album is only released a few times a month and the public generally ignores albums that are actually listenable and decent, this loser and his prematurely gray hair (a disturbing phrase if I’ve ever heard one, just creepy) no longer have an album that is one of the top 100 selling in this country. But hey, at least he got to get up on stage and writhe around like a drunken serpent while three losers sat there and “judged” him and millions of other losers paid money to call in and vote for him. These are the reasons the rest of the world hates us, because we foist crap like this on them as a representation of American culture.

- For our second straight day with a pimpin’-related story, it’s time to turn to Reno, Nev., where the last remaining building on the grounds of the Mustang Ranch brothel went up (or down) in flames Sunday as part of a firefighter training exercise. The this building was one of the more well-known establishments where pimps and ho’s could ply their trade, but the place had been un-operational since 1999, when the government padlocked the place and shut it down due to continual tax problems. It burdens me greatly to have to bring news of a negative pimpin’ story two days in a row, but it’s true what they say, pimpin’ ain’t easy.

- For the “Catastrophe on a Cruise Ship” portion of today’s news, take a trip to the Gulf of Mexico, where a young couple fell overboard from a Princess Cruise ship into the water. The unidentified 22-year-old man and 20-year-old woman fell between 50 and 60 feet from a cabin balcony, but rescuers were able to locate them after a four-hour search. Princess Cruise Lines claims to have no knowledge of how the pair fell off the ship, but a spokesman for the company seems sure it was an accident. That’s convenient excuse, because things like falling overboard, crashing into an island and spilling harmful diesel fuel and having hundreds of passengers contract Norovirus are always accidents. These things never happen for a specific reason as the result of any kind of error or bad judgment on the part of the cruise ship company; they’re accidents, just harmless oops! moments that are merely funny anecdotes to tell people when they ask about your vacation. That is, of course, provided you can stop vomiting long enough to finish the story.

- Time to pass out my Congressman of the Week award, and this week’s runaway winner is………Sen. Chuck Hagel, R-Neb. Sen. Hagel wins the award because he’s the first congressperson to openly consider what I’ve been championing for months, the notion of impeaching our president if he continues to blissfully disregard the opinion of 99.99999% percent of people in America, Congress included, who know that the Iraq war is a farce and a debacle that needs to come to a swift and definitive conclusion. Now Sen. Hagel hasn’t yet called for impeachment or declared it to be the best option, but his willingness to talk about it and float it out there despite being a member of the same party as the president is admirable. All it takes is one person to get the ball rolling. Sometimes hearing an idea spoken out loud is all it takes to crystallize it and to generate the momentum needed to bring that idea to fruition. Of course, there are also party hacks like Sen. Trent Lott, R-Miss., tools who continue to stand behind their imbecilic leader and try to convince us all that we just need to give this whole thing more time, that W. will successfully lead us to victory. Tell you what, Trent, you and the rest of your Republican lemmings can go ahead and follow your leader right off the cliff. The rest of us can continue to mock you and count the days until the abomination of a presidency finally ends.

- The NBA needs to get a sense of humor and learn not to take itself so über-seriously. The league has reprimanded Washington Wizards guard Gilbert “Hibachi” Arenas because he had the audacity to make, gasp, $10 bets with two fans at a recent game in Portland. Arenas made a wager with the two fans that he would hit the game winning shot, which he failed to do. His team lost to Portland by two points and he got the fans’ contact information so he could pay off the bets. He mentioned the wagers in his blog on NBA.com, but in addition to reprimanding him, the league also removed any mention of the betting from the blog. Good to see that the league is alright with holding its All-Star game in the biggest gambling city in America, Las Vegas, but they aren't down with a player making a fun, $10 bet with a couple of fans at a game. NBA players are abusing animals (Ron Artest), squeezing off rounds with their pistols at strip clubs (Stephen Jackson) and running afoul of the law in a dozen other ways, but the league is pissed about Arenas and his friendly wagers of ten measly dollars. Heaven forbid a player does something to connect with the fans and engages them in something silly and simply. Oh, and I seriously doubt that Arenas would have tracked down the fans to collect his $10 if he’d won the bet, so how can you really be upset about this? The NFL and its uniform police fining players for wearing their socks an inch too low think this is absurd.