- Congress ain’t scared of no presidential veto! By a 51-47 vote, the Senate followed the example of the House of Representatives and passed war-funding legislation that contains troop-withdrawal language. By passing the $97.5 billion appropriations bill in its current state, the Senate has directly challenged the president and his stance that we’re pretty much going to be in Iraq from now until the end of time with no real direction or plan. Democratic senators, in what I consider to be a bit of reach, were trying to paint the impending veto by President Bush as an action that will undermine U.S. troops so as to curry support for an overriding of said veto. I sincerely hope that the veto will be overridden, but I doubt it and I definitely think efforts to this end by Democrats will be futile. Sadly, no one is going to be able to save us from the sheer idiocy of our Dumbass-in-Chief until the 2008 election, at which time the American people will be able to choose someone who can help put and end to this debacle. Start the countdown to the inauguration ceremony, to be held in January 2009, folks, it’s only about 21 months away!
- I hate to keep ripping potential treats from the Easter baskets of kids across America, but the Centers for Disease Control have decreed that all you parents considering putting a live baby chick in your child’s basket this Easter should reconsider. The CDC reports that last spring, 81 people in 22 states became ill after contracting salmonella that came from contact with the baby birds. Maybe it’s time to ask if there’s anything to include in your Easter basket that won't potentially give you salmonella or a similar illness. If you recall, last week a recall of several varieties of the Harry London Co. candy known as Cheggs took place because those Cheggs could, like contact with a baby chick, give you or your child salmonella. More and more it appears that we’d all be better off celebrating our holiday in a hermetically sealed bubble with a can of disinfectant spray ready and clad in HAZMAT suits.
- Soccer players just can't turn off their faking mechanism, even when it’s been several years since they’ve played a competitive game. Diego Maradona, Argentinean soccer legend and scorer on the famous “Hand of God” goal in the 1986 World Cup, was rushed to a Buenos Aires hospital for what was basically a glorified bender. He was over-grubbing, over-drinking and over-smoking himself to a weight that his physician cited as nine pounds over his usual weight and somehow, this was cause enough to call 911 and have him rushed to the emergency room. Only a soccer player can make a food, booze and cigar binge into an emergency-room- worthy incident. Based on my wealth of soccer-watching experience, I have to imagine that once at the hospital, the scene unfolded thusly: Maradona was carried in on a stretcher, acting as if he were on the verge of death. Once inside the emergency room, he immediately leapt off of the stretcher, began waving and smiling at the doctors and nurses and pleaded with the docs to let him go back home in order to appear tough and heroic as they checked him over. On the way out of the room, an orderly wheeling a gurney down the hall came within 18 inches of Maradona and he went down like he’d been shot, writhing in pain on the floor. Ultimately, Maradona tried to check out of the hospital soon after arriving, and from the looks of it, he’s going to be fine - well, until he goes on his next grub-and-booze bender next week.
- It’s never been my policy to give out investment advice, but when an opportunity as amazing as this comes up, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention it. How would you like to get in on the ground floor of a floundering, third-world airline operated by a government whose country is overrun (and partially run) by terrorists? Yup, I thought you would be intrigued, because I know that I am. Air Afghanistan, on the verge of collapse due to corruption, mismanagement and crippling airplane leases, is looking for investors. The Afghani government, which currently operates the airline, is desperately searching for investors to help privatize up to 75 percent of the company. Gee fellas, stop tugging at my heart strings - you had me at corruption and crippling airplane leases. Mix in that particular government’s ineffectiveness and inefficiency in running their country and there’s no way you come up with anything but a winner here. Now, if there are enough of us interested in investing, perhaps we can pool our resources and go in for a large chunk of the ownership of A.A., say 40 percent, but regardless of the breakdown, this is something you need to jump on right away, lest you miss out on the chance to - well, you don’t need me to spell it out for you.
- Prediction time: the people out there who are trying to “protect” children by neutering youth sports and making these activities a warm-and-fuzzy, everyone-wins situation where you’re declared a winner just for participating and where we don’t keep score so no one has to be labeled the loser, these people are going to end up f’ing up those same kids they’re trying to protect. Youth sports governing bodies are obsessed with political correctness and not offending anyone, so they’re enacting moronic measures like the one now being foisted upon Little Leaguers in Cincinnati. The new rule will ban any cheers or chants that are classified as negative or derogatory toward opposing players, and one of the “derogatory” chants is “Hey, batter, batter, swing batter!” Yes, I can see how that might decimate the psyche of an 11-year-old batter. Little Timmy will never recover from the psychological trauma of being ridiculed with “Hey, batter, batter, swing batter!” In fact, I can't even count the number of times I’ve seen a Little Leaguer sprint from the field during an at bat, bursting into tears as he ran because of that hurtful, hateful chant. There must be some sort of organization or concert that all of these imbecilic youth sports leagues take part in where they share terrible ideas for ways to inject political correctness and namby-pamby sissy-fication into sports. Perhaps the Cincinnati group conferenced with the youth soccer leagues in Massachusetts who refuse to keep score in their games so no one will have to carry the shameful social stigma of losing a youth soccer game. Ultimately, something in me believes that maybe, just maybe, these kids aren't going to be better served growing up in a world where no one ever fails or loses, where no one is ever criticized or forced to deal with anything difficult………
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