Thursday, November 03, 2016

Zombies v. Conserva-Nazis, Utah rises up and more college football rage


- Ah, the ages-old struggle between cultivators and herders rages on. Those tensions are alive and well in the West African nation of Niger, where officials say 18 people have been killed in fighting between farmers and herders. The idea of agrarian folks clashing with shepherd’s staffs and rocks on one side and hoes, rakes and shovels on the other may seem stuck in time for those in developed nations, but the simple fact is that such drama is not uncommon in parts of West Africa amid disputes over land. According to a government statement, another 43 people were injured and homes were burned in Tuesday's fighting in the community of Bangui in the Tahoua region, although a combined 61 casualties and injuries places this one fairly low on the scale when it comes to rural, impoverished people violently clashing over control of land and trying to hack each other to death with crude weapons. On the upside, this is still a far more advanced and thoughtful exchange than anything that has taken place during the course of the ongoing American presidential election, so rather than denouncing these furious farmers and hot-headed herders, lets ask if there’s anything we can learn from them, or perhaps even if they have a spare room into which we can move in the event that a certain Republican presidential candidate manages to Jedi mind-trick enough Americans into voting for him to actually put the first Oompa Loompa on Steroids in the Oval Office……..


- Another day, another heinous act of violence by a college football player. This one is especially heinous and it comes courtesy of Oklahoma sophomore running back Joe Mixon, who showe a disturbing capability for violence against inanimate objects this week and has suspended for Thursday night's game at Iowa State because of it. Head coach Bob Stoops said Mixon had been suspended for a team rules violation and didn't specify the infraction, but apparently it stems from a horrific, terrifying scene of rage in which Mixon was given a parking citation on the University of Oklahoma campus and ….well, sh*t went sour. "He was frustrated, as most of us are when we get a ticket," Mixon’s attorney, Blake Johnson, said. "He tore the ticket up in front of the parking attendant, and threw it on the ground." Oh no, he didn’t….he tore up the ticket in front of some fluorescent-yellow-vest-wearing dweeb walking around campus with one of those handheld electronic ticket dispensers and threw the tattered ticket on the ground? The reason this apparently became a thing is that the parking dork filed a complaint with the OUPD after Mixon's reaction and therefore, a guy who leads the Sooners in rushing with 813 yards and five touchdowns on 119 carries will miss a game his team should win by five touchdowns with or without him. Mixon issued a statement through the school in which he acknowledged that he "did not respond appropriately to parking attendants and understand and accept the consequences." Here’s hoping this bad seed learns a valuable lesson about dealing with meter maids and can be a better person because of it……..


- Normally, Utah isn't thought of as an angry place….unless you make one too many uninformed polygamy jokes. But that wasn’t the case to kick off this week as more than 100 activists gathered on Main Street in Salt Lake City in protest of the Dakota Access Pipeline. Not large by protest stages, this one nonetheless featured eight angry environmentalists arrested by the time the demonstration ended. These bold tree huggers marched down Main Street in front of the Wells Fargo Center, where some of them stormed into the building shouting, "Water is life," and "Keep it in the soil, you can't drink oil." Have you tried to drink oil? It might be the newest dietary craze, right behind kale, Adkins, juice cleanses and quinoa. In this case, the protesters were warned by police to leave or be arrested. In a show of wishy-washy leadership, the protest leader responded by telling participants if they didn't want to be arrested they should leave, but those willing to stay should do so. Sadly, police were able to convince the weak-willed among the group to leave, but nine said hell no, they wouldn’t go…and one of them was issued a citation and then left, while the remaining eight told officers they wanted to go to jail. Those not-so-hateful eight were arrested and booked into jail for trespassing and failure to disperse, according to a watch log from Salt Lake City police. A few demonstrators who planned ahead and brought supplies chained and locked themselves together with a bike lock, but police eventually used bolt cutters to release them from the locks. All in all, not an especially memorable protest, but at least Utah is trying………


- It’s sad that a cast member for one of the best shows on television was baited into a pointless war of words with the stuck-in-1950 ass hats of the Parents Television Council. The PTC has bass-ackwardsly insisted that the world remain locked in a time when ankle-length skirts and no profanity were the way of Ward Cleaver’s world, taking on the evils of everything from WWE to women who show more skin than two square inches in prime time. The group’s latest target is “The Walking Dead,” AMC’s hit zombie-based show whose first episode of season seven saw Abraham and Glenn bludgeoned to death by Negan’s barbed wire baseball bat. Television Council president Tim Winter, sounding very much like a failed writer, actor or both, claimed that the show had “resorted to the graphic violence as a crutch,” adding that “Walking Dead” was guilty of replacing earlier seasons’ “better storytelling” with “graphic depiction.” Not done there, this conserva-Nazi took it a step further, suggesting that the show should go away entirely or at least adhere to his draconian standards for entertainment. “It’s not enough to ‘change the channel,’” Winter continued. “Cable subscribers… are still forced to subsidize violent content.” Rahter than ignore this ignorance because he’s a character on one of the top shows on television and no one really gives a damn what Tim Winter or the PTC thinks, “Walking Dead” actor Michael Cudlitz, who plays Abraham on the show, returned fire. “We knew that was going to happen,” Cudlitz said of the response. “We always knew that we were in a dangerous world, as far as the Walkers and the uncertainty of what was going on. But I think that the uncertainty now has been raised even higher.” He portrayed the violence as a shift in the show’s focus, one where characters “literally have someone who will kill you for looking at them the wrong way.” Executive producer Greg Nicotero, who directed the first episode of the new season, previously expressed his desire to “capture” the “horrifically graphic, senseless and brutal” moments from the graphic novel of the same name’s 100th issue going forward, which means the PTC is going to want to beat someone down with its own baseball bat before this season is over…….

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