Friday, November 11, 2016

Own electoral infamy history, the Spice Skanks resurface and more college football domestic violence


- At least they went out happy. Sure, a young Russian couple identified as Artem S. and Anna D. are no longer with us, but the pair got to exit this crazy, spinning world of ours doing something they enjoyed, namely having sex in the back seat of his old Skoda Felicia, a Czech supermini car. According to police, the young couple were having sex in a car inside a garage and given that they live in a frigid place like Ufa, in southern central Russia, that garage wasn’t very warm. As such, these two made the fatal mistake of turning on the ignition to keep warm - apparently they weren't generating enough heat on their own to stave off the cold - and as a result, they died from carbon monoxide poisoning. Police said the families of the duo told them that Artem and Anna claimed they were going out for a walk -- but wound up in the back of that car. The working theory is that the pair wanted to turn the heat on as temperatures dipped below freezing, but they failed to realize that a running car inside an enclosed space is deadly after a certain amount of time, so relatives found them naked and locked in each other's arms in the garage of the man's parents. They had actually been dating for only a few months, so they hadn't even introduced each other to their respective circles of friends. Artem had just graduated from catering college and wanted to open an auto body shop, so you’d think he would understand as well as anyone that cars crank out lethal amounts of carbon monoxide that build up inside small spaces without ventilation, but apparently he didn’t realize that on this occasion…….


- All of the relationship violence involving college football players and their significant others can end any time now. Most of the time, these stories involve testosterone-drenched, meathead jocks getting violent with their ladies, with results ranging from an ugly early morning mug shot to a woman ending up in the hospital with serious injuries. But this time around there’s a new spin on the story, as it’s the woman who is causing harm to her college football player boyfriend. The angry lady in question is Mary Gaspar, who has been charged with felony aggravated battery for pouring boiling water on Florida International senior tight end Jonnu Smith, causing burns to multiple parts of his body. This story has more than a few twists, as Gaspar is five months pregnant with their child, so she obviously has good reason to be emotional most of the time, but that still doesn’t justify potentially scarring a guy for life and possibly even killing him if the burns are bad enough. So what’s the explanation here? According to the arrest affidavit, Gaspar and Smith argued on Oct. 31 about how much attention he was giving her, prompting her to boil a pot of water in his dorm room and dump it on him. As if that wasn’t sufficient to garner the attention she felt she was due, she then drove the point home by climbing on top of him and hitting him with her hands. Amazingly, it took two days before Gaspar was arrested, while it took less time than that to determine that Smith is out for the season and that his college football career is over. The senior tight end suffered burns on his head, neck, back, shoulder and arm and he and his 175 receptions for 1,936 yards and 17 touchdowns are likely done with organized football……


- Want to own a piece of art merged with first-grade spelling test recognition that falsely claims you voted in the biggest dumpster fire of an election in American history? If so, act now because there is clearly an intense race to own the “I Voted” stickers from a certain southern state. Congrats, Louisiana, because you may have handed your eight electoral votes to a human traffic cone with a rabid badger strapped to the top of its head, but people really like your voting stickers. Those stickers feature artwork by Louisiana artist George Rodrigue, whose family granted the Secretary of State use of the image, “Stand Up Straight and Tall,” a 2001 image that’s part of the permanent collection at the New Orleans Museum of Art. Not long after voting began, the stickers began appearing on eBay. They were unveiled Oct. 10, coinciding with an exhibit at Rodrigue Studio in New Orleans, which opened Oct. 6, and marked the 20th anniversary of the "Blue Dog for President" exhibition held at Union Station in Washington D.C. during the 1996 presidential election. Rodrigue began painting in the third grade while bedridden with polio and became a Louisiana institution, studying art at the University of Louisiana-Lafayette and gaining fame for his Blue Dog paintings, which became popular around the world in the early 1990s. The voting stickers were selling for as much as $20 in some online auctions, but can you really put a price on being a part of electoral infamy…….


- Thanks for the warning, Spice Skanks #1 and #2. These two, also known as Geri Horner (née Halliwell) and Emma Bunton, wanted to let the world know that the two of them have been in the studio together recently, working with producer Eliot Kennedy, who frequently worked with the Spice Skanks during their 15 minutes of fame in the early 1990s. Horner posted a picture of the pair together on her Instagram account with the caption: “In studio, oooooh,” which may have been amusing to her, but should strike terror into the hearts of music fans. Kennedy previously confirmed that Bunton, Horner and bandmate Melanie Brown have been working on new music, but this makes it tangible and that hurts. “We wrote a brilliant song and the energy was exactly like it was 20 years ago, just as enthusiastic, just as much to say, just as much to celebrate,” Kennedy said. “I think they have something to do with way female artists are perceived in the pop charts nowadays, I think they’ve had a massive effect on pop music and pop culture, so it’s a good time to celebrate.” No, it is not a good time to celebrate and it never will be. Yes, July marked the 20th anniversary of the band’s single “Wannabe,” but there is no need to chase that should-be-forgotten era with new music from a group that clearly lacked anything remotely resembling actual musical talent at any point in its existence……..

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