- As if football coaches weren't already one of the most
paranoid groups in all of America, this isn’t going to help. Odds are that Wake
Forest was going to get its ass kicked in last week’s matchup with No. 4
Louisville, but in the wake of a defeat in which the Demon Deacons jumped out
to a 12-0 lead against the Cardinals before losing 44-12, the losers are
lamenting something unusual. Yes, Wake Forest is launching an investigation
into possible college football espionage, claiming there may have been a breach
of its game plan prior to the contest. The suspicions arose after Wake Forest
discovered documents inside Louisville's stadium that showed specific plays the
Demon Deacons had never run previously and now, head coach Dave Clawson wants
to know how his team’s traveling party stumbled across these documents.
"There somehow was a breach and I've shared it with our AD and we are trying
to figure out what happened, and how it happened,” Clawson said. "We're
trying to figure out what happened. We're trying to figure out how information
got out of our office and that's where we are with it now. We're trying to
figure out how a breach happened and we're doing everything we can internally
to make sure that all of our information that pertains to us stays
in-house." Here’s hoping interrogation sessions with spotlights, two-way
mirrors and good cop-bad cop routines are happening in Winston Salem this week
and before dismissing the allegations, just realize that notorious liar and
scumbag Bobby Petrino is the head coach at Louisville. A guy who has lied and
quit on virtually every job he’s had in the past decade-plus, had an affair
with a graduate assistant half his age and shown the integrity of an Enron
executive crossed with Bernie Madoff wouldn’t steal information from a rival
team, right……..
- For too many years, there has been a lack of gender
equality amongst our first responders. No, not when it comes to women being
given a fair chance to do all of the same physically demanding jobs their male
counterparts do, although that’s important because anyone who is physically
capable of doing a task should be allowed to perform it regardless of their
gender. And not in terms of equal pay for equal work and an atmosphere of
respect for everyone in the workplace regardless of their gender, although
those definitely matter. Sadly, the one area where the ladies have been forced
to lag behind is the all-important world of pinup calendars featuring
firefighters, where the long-running mental image most people have is of
chiseled, hunky male firefighters wearing nothing more than a hard hat,
suspenders and a smile while they strike a pose in front of the fire house. The
obvious truth is that there are attractive women fighting fires too and they
deserve their chance to shine if they choose to exploit their attractiveness in
the name of raising funds for the charity of their choice. Maybe that can
change with efforts from heroes like the women of the Tampa Fire Rescue
calendar, where the ladies are developing a tradition of raising money for
pediatric burn victims by doffing their fire-retardant suits, putting on some
makeup and wearing next to nothing in the name of the kids. Those brave
beauties gathered recently in downtown Tampa’s Curtis Hixon Park for a photo
shoot with the palm trees surrounding them and the city skyline in the
background. The odds of anyone purchasing the calendar noticing either the
trees or the skyline - or caring about helping children - are low, but the
money still benefits those in need and in the process, helps level the playing
field for female firefighting hotties all around the nation……
- Harry Potter may have retired from the movie world, but
the legions of dweebs he helped inspire live on - and their “sport” with them. Yes,
tools in the United Kingdom are honoring the fake sport made famous in the
world of Potter by launching the all-new Quidditch Premier League. Quidditch is
the fake sport created by JK Rowling in her Potter book and the reason it’s
fake is because in the real world, human beings can't zip around the sky riding
broomsticks like Potter and his Hogwarts pals. Instead, a bunch of tools
running around on the grass holding broomsticks between their legs try to throw
balls through hoops, a bastardized offshoot of Quidditch that has been honored
in the form of the Quidditch World Cup held biannually since 2005. The UK
Quidditch Premier League will be the first long-term effort to expand the sport
and will run from May to August 2017. Those who want to take part from anywhere
in the world will need to a) find a way to attend tryouts in April and b) live
in the U.K. during the season so they can play for the London Monarchs,
Southwest Broadside, Southeast Knights, Eastern Mermaids, Northern Watch,
Yorkshire Roses, East Midland Archers or West Midland Shredders. Each team of
tools will represent a different region of the country. “The Quidditch Premier
League is an exciting opportunity and development,” said director Jack Lennard.
“It’s an opportunity for the sport to grow and gain prestige on a greater level
nationally and internationally than ever before. And most importantly, it’s an
opportunity for more people in more places to find out about this incredible
sport.” According to the league, each team’s manager will pick 30 players for
their roster and of that 30, 21 will be active for each game. Prepare now,
losers, for your short at wizardy glory approaches fast……..
- When you’re going out of business, what better way to head
for the exits than with a massive going-out-of-business fire sale? No one had
to tell that to the former governor of Mexico's Caribbean coast state of
Quintana Roo because, according to authorities in the state, ex-Gov. Roberto
Borge priced everything to sell and refused no offer when it came to selling
state-owned properties to associates at prices far below their market value. In
a state that’s home to tourist paradises and resorts such as Cancun, Playa de
Carmen, Cozumel and Tulum, one would expect to pay exorbitant prices to own a
piece of the real estate pie, by according to the state's chief auditor,
Bargain Bob Borge sold nearly 23,500 acres of land around those resorts at
prices that "in some cases did not even amount to 1 percent" of
market value. Since when is one cent on the dollar - or peso - not a good
return on a piece of land? And how did HGTV not give this real estate innovator
his own show, complete with a snappy title and a sexy female co-host? According
to auditor Rafael Antonio del Pozo, Borge flipped these parcels to “people and
businesses that were personally linked to the ex-governor,” which could be construed
as corruptly pawning land off to your friends for a few measly pesos, but let’s
not rush to judgment here. After all, the government land serves as a buffer
against development and a reserve for future tourism projects, so a corrupt
governor wouldn’t be the worst problem, right? Either that or Borge sold nearly
half the reserve before leaving office in September, but one or the other……..
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