Thursday, November 24, 2016

Dorkdom meets metal, why kangaroos aren't pets and MLB's impending buzzkill


- Did you know that there’s a country called Estonia? And did you know that Estonia has a navy? Oh, and did you know that the commander of said Estonian Navy has resigned after customs officials said they found smuggled alcohol and cigarettes aboard an Estonian ship taking part in NATO operations on the Baltic Sea? It’s all true and why this sort of scandal isn’t typically a reason you want the whole world looking at your tiny, oft-ignored Baltic nation, sometimes you have to take what you can get and in this case, what Estonia got it Captain Sten Sepper taking full responsibility for the 56 cases of undeclared cigarettes and 1,000 liters of undeclared liquor customs officials seized from aboard the Estonian minehunter Sakala earlier this month. Yes, dude was brought down by booze and lung darts, according to the Estonian Defense Ministry. No offense to Estonia, but it’s not exctly like the commander was accepting bribes to overlook human trafficking through the port, or selling shiploads of illegal weapons to mercenaries on the dock. Yet cancer sticks and quality vodka were enough for Sepper to tender his resignation to Defense Minister Hannes Hanso, who described the incident as "unacceptable." The taint of the scandal was enough to also compel the Sakala's commander, Lt. Cmdr. Ott Laanemets, to announce his resignation. The scandal remains cloaked in a bit of mystery, as authorities haven't released details on where the contraband was picked up or where it was being taken, although a criminal investigation has been launched………


- Remember all of those warm, fuzzy feelings swirling around Major League Baseball as the 2016 season came to a close? Yeah, well MLB owners and the players’ union may be about to take a blowtorch to all of them. The two sides are barreling toward a Dec. 1 deadline for a new collective bargaining agreement and if they don’t strike a new accord, then a lockout is likely to ensue. The good news is that those surrounding the negotiations are optimistic that talks have progressed to the point where there’s a legitimate chance for a new deal before owners impose a lockout. Owners and the union have been hung up for weeks over several major issues, one of them being the idea of an international draft rather than a giant free-for-all allowing teams to throw massive bonuses and negotiating fees at international prospects. Other topics on the table include the elimination of draft-pick compensation for teams that sign free agents and a new luxury tax/revenue-sharing formula. Despite the progress, owners have reportedly made preparations for a potential lockout of the union, though the progress has been helped along by the fact that a lockout is a hard line both sides must deal with rather than a soft deadline that could be pushed back. And true, a December lockout wouldn't result in lost games, but it would put a lockdown on all typical offseason activity, including free-agent movement and cutting off funding of benefits to players. Not only that, locking someone out creates all sorts of bad feelings and could set the negotiating process back several steps in the wake of a memorable postseason that produced the highest World Series ratings in a decade and a half. The clock is ticking, fellas………


- And this is why we don’t keep marsupials as pets. Because trying to contain a kangaroo is not like trying to keep a dog chained up, something a Rankin County, Mississippi family learned when Boomer, their pet kangaroo, escaped from his cage this week. The animal’s owners posted a Facebook message claiming that Boomer and several dogs got out of their yard when an unknown individual opened the gates. Rankin County Undersheriff Raymond Duke and other Rankin County Sheriff's deputies began searching for the AWOL ‘roo around 5 p.m. and thanks to a call alerting them to a conspicuously out-of-place, two-legged, tail-having hopper on Star Road near Highway 49. Deputies hurried to the scene and because local sheriff’s deputies typically aren’t trained in proper kangaroo apprehension, they attempted to lasso and tranquilize the animal but were unsuccessful. Boomer got away, escaping into the woods. Authorities continued to work with the family to find and apprehend the missing kangaroo and according to the owner, Boomer ran straight to her husband when the animal was finally located a second time. It remains unclear who decided it would be funny to release the hounds - and their kangaroo friend - for a romp around town, but in the wake of this incident, the family has chosen not the best option - giving their kangaroo to a zoo where it might actually be well-housed - but rather to install extra surveillance equipment and locks to ensure that the gate is not opened again. Yes, because that will definitely fix the problem forever…….


- Rarely has someone combined dork-dom and would-be-rock-and-roll-badassery quite the way a group of nerds known as Galactic Empire have and now, these aspiring rock stars are one step closer to realizing their dream - of having their mundane metal offerings ignored by millions. Galactic Empire are, of course, a Star Wars-themed metal band who released their cover version of the franchise’s iconic theme song last year. Based on that effort, they were then able to raise $61,000 through a crowdfunding campaign and with that money, they will be able to record a full album and play tour dates in support of the project. The boys of Galactic Empire announced that their self-titled album will be released on Feb. 3 via Rise Records. A post on their Kickstarter page describes the band as “a heavy metal band comprised of the most sinister villains in the universe.” Yes, as long as patterning your bands’ style after a fake universe of outer-space weirdos makes you sinister, then these guys are truly hard core. “We have successfully infiltrated earth’s “internet” with our first music video, accumulating 8 million total views, press coverage from Huffington Post, Entertainment Weekly and MSNBC (among many others), and a live network television performance on E! Entertainment during their coverage of the 2016 Academy Awards,” Galactic Empire wrote in the post. “The puny humans of your small forest planet Earth have indicated a desire to see the mighty Galactic Empire perform our music in a live scenario. We would be most pleased to fulfill this request.” Dweebs to the cosmic end, eh fellas…….

No comments: