Friday, November 25, 2016

Pizza = driver's license, a "Twins" sequel and European smugglign heats up


- There is no one whose fire burs hotter in the NFL than Baltimore Ravens wide receiver Steve Smith Sr., who has played his entire career as if someone slapped him in the face and insulted his mother before every practice and game. He’s fought with teammates in practice, scrapped with opponents before, during and after games and still remembers media members who panned his selection as a third-round pick. He’s playing with a chip on his shoulder that’s as big now as it was when he entered the league more than a decade ago. So given that he caught eight passes for 99 yards and a touchdown in that game, including his 1,000th career reception, in a 27-17 loss to Dallas last week, how is Smith feeling? Pissed off, of course, because he has been called out by two rookie cornerbacks this season. Believe it or not, he doesn’t give a sh*t what some unproven DBs think of him…but he doesn’t sound happy about it. "I can really give a flying f---," Smith said after Cowboys rookie cornerback Anthony Brown said he had lost all respect for Smith after seeing how much trash he talked in a losing effort. That came after Jacksonville Jaguars cornerback Jalen Ramsey attacked Smith on social media earlier this year. "Older guys, they understand the respect game. These young guys, these new millennium guys, they don't really get it," Smith said. "I've had two rookies that unfortunately, they have lost all respect for me, so it's been really keeping me up at night. It's tragic. I've been losing sleep. With all the lack of sleep, I know we lost, but I was almost unable to send my cleats and gloves all the way to Canton because of the lack of the sleep thing." Keep playing angry, Steve……..


- The tales of illicit smuggling are just rocking the greater European region this week and the hits just keep on coming. First, Estonia gets its socks knocked off by the commander of its navy being linked to the scandalous smuggling of cigarettes and alcohol through its ports and now, Croatia is dealing with the fallout from a turtle smuggling ring that has obviously shaken a nation to its foundation. Yes, Croatian customs authorities say they have prevented the smuggling of 715 live turtles, a protected species in the European Union's newest member state, proving that when the EU welcomed Croatia to its ranks, it gained a country that takes seriously the plight of all of God’s creatures, great and small. According to authorities, the discovery was made Thursday in the Zupanja area, near the border with Bosnia. It was a history-making occasion, taking its rightful position atop the list as the biggest single seizure of live animals in Croatia. Details are still coming in and authorities haven’t revealed where the turtles were headed or if they knew the parties responsible for the turtle shipment, but it’s not a surprise because the smuggling of rare or protected animals has flourished in the impoverished Balkans in the aftermath of the wars in the 1990s. The region became something of a wide-open, lawless place for those looking to ship, buy and sell such items and judging by this latest incident, that problem hasn’t been fully resolved just yet……….


- Because #Hollywood. There is nothing Hollywood loves more than remaking, recycling and regurgitating old ideas, be it a straight remake or a sequel of a movie that’s a known commodity, so of course a sequel to the 1980s comedy “Twins” is reportedly in the works, bringing the sort-of-dynamic duo of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito together again with another hilarious twist - casting Eddie Murphy as the duo’s brother. The original “Twins” was released in 1988, starring Schwarzenegger and DeVito as a pair of unlikely twins separated at birth. It’s funny because Schwarzenegger is a massive Austrian and former bodybuilder, while DeVito is a sub-5-foot American who….never mind, you get the point. So what better way to ratchet up the comedic hijinks further than by adding a black guy as the long-lost sibling for these hilariously mismatched brothers? The truly unbelievable thing here is that it took 28 years to green-light a sequel for a film that was a massive box office success, grossing $216 million worldwide. Talk of a sequel originally flared up in 2012, when Universal announced plans for a sequel under the title of “Triplets.” The studio reportedly had commitments from Schwarzenegger and DeVito to appear, but the project never materialized and everyone simply forgot about it. However, director Ivan Reitman has now confirmed that the idea is alive and well. “We’re trying to get a script,” Reitman said, indicating that the project is still in its early stages. Early stages or not, it’s a sequel and as such, you’d damn well better believe it’s going to get made……… 


- Never change, drunk college students. You’re an endless source of entertainment, a chance for the world around you to shake its collective head in disbelief, laugh its ass off and wonder how you keep finding new ways to hit rock bottom. In this season of giving, hearing about a drunk college chick who tried to use a slice of pizza as a form of identification to get into a bar and then b*tch-slapped the bouncer who refused to accept her piece of a pie as proof of her age is a gift we can all enjoy. It all went down at the aptly named Monkey Bar, where co-owner Rasif Rafiq’s security staff encountered a woman who most likely had consumed a few alcoholic beverages before she even arrived at this fine establishment and must have stopped by a local pizzeria to funnel some food into her stomach in an effort to soak up the alcohol. Why the bouncer refused to accept pizza as proof of being old enough to drink is unclear because we all know that Pizza Hut, Domino’s, Papa John’s, Little Caesar and every local pizza joint is not going to sell a cheap, hastily made circle of dough covered in cheap sauce, mozzarella and various meats and vegetables to anyone under the age of 21. Having a slice of deep dish is just as good as having a viable driver’s license, so the bouncer was clearly out of line and probably deserved to be slapped for refusing the drunk chick entry to a place where she could continue her dogged pursuit of alcohol poisoning. When the woman became aggressive, a police officer in the area intervened, further worsening this woman’s night by issuing her a trespassing notice forcing her to stay away from the Monkey Bar. That might not even matter because if a local watering hole treated you that way, would you ever want to go back? This bar may have lost itself a potentially very profitable customer…….

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