College basketball math problems, drunks v. Nickelhack and bounty hunters in Hungary

- You can get into an elite institution of higher learning, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you can count. As evidence, take the curious case of Bryant University basketball player Ikenna Ndugba, who received an emphatic reminder to always double-check the scoreboard in end-of-game situations, lest you end up as the guy getting clowned on all of the sports highlight shows for dribbling out the clock to end a game in which your team trailed by a point and needed a basket to win. Ndugba and the Bulldogs were trailing Brown by a point, 91-90, after the lead changed hands several times in the final minute of the game in Providence, Rhode Island when Ndugba, a freshman from Boston, lost track of the score after a layup gave Brown a one-point edge. Thinking his team still had the lead, dribbled the ball circuitously to half court and heaved it into the air and went looking for a high-five from a teammate after releasing the ball. What he encountered was a befuddled teammate who wondered how the hell someone so stupid was on his team as Brown players mobbed the court in celebration. Instead of Ndugba attempting a game-winning shot, Tavon Blackmon's last-second layup helped Brown improve to 3-4. The good news for Ndugba and his unfortunate teammates is that the game was a non-league contest and will have no bearing on the postseason fate of a team that is now 2-5. In between now and that postseason, Ndugba’s coaches and teammates might want to do a little bit of math education with their teammate…….

- Where are you when the world needs you, Duane “Dog the Bounty Hunter” Chapman? Chapman and his motley family crew of tattooed, mulleted, pony-tailed, leather-clad bounty hunters spend most of their time tracking down troubled bail jumpers in America’s most pleasant state, but maybe it’s time to leave the comfortable confines of Hawaii behind and head due east, all the way to eastern Europe, where a Hungarian lawmaker says the government will spend up to 100 billion forints ($340 million) to provide equipment and basic supplies for 3,000 "border hunters" being recruited to guard border fences built last year to stop the flow of migrants trying to enter the country. Lajos Kosa, head of the governing Fidesz party's parliamentary group, laid out the case for rolling out big money, noting that the expenditures will be exempt from having to comply with public procurement rules. When it comes to keeping undesirables out of your country, it’s clear that rules and standards cannot stand in the way. Kosa and his compatriots are clearly on edge after some 400,000 migrants and refugees passed through Hungary last year on their way to Western Europe. In response, Prime Minister Viktor Orban ordered fences built on the country's southern borders with Serbia and Croatia, with migrants who get past the fence but are caught near the border typically expelled right away. In trying to drum up support for his new policy, Kosa said the government was expecting another wave of migrants next spring. Somewhere, Human Traffic Cone-Elect Donald Trump is smiling……..

- Canada, weren’t you supposed to be the world’s most polite country? It’s fine if you no longer want that label and this is a damn fine way to show it, by clowning one of your very own, a native band that has sullied your already-tarnished musical reputation almost beyond repair with its special brand of d-baggish, lyrically stunted, incredibly unsophisticated arena rock, but it’s still a cold hustle. It comes courtesy of the Kensington Police Service, which serves the 146,283 residents of Prince Edward Island and is sick and tired of liquored-up Canucks who down one too many cases of Labatt’s Blue and get behind the wheel. The department knows that Canada’s 10-month winter is about to enter its most punishing, depressing stretch and realizes that could drive people to drink and drive. In a preemptive strike, the department announced a truly terrifying deterrent to would-be drunk drivers: Nickelhack. “When we catch you, and we will catch you, on top of a hefty fine, a criminal charge and a year’s driving suspension we will also provide you with a bonus gift of playing the offices [sic] copy of Nickelback in the cruiser on the way to jail,” the department wrote in a Facebook post, complete with a picture of the poseur rockers’ third album, “Silver Side Up.” “Now, now, no need to thank us, we figure if you are foolish enough to get behind the wheel after drinking then a little Chad Kroeger and the boys is the perfect gift for you. Please, lets not ruin a perfectly good unopened copy of Nickelback. You don’t drink and drive and we won’t make you listen to it.” It’s a fair bargain and one that should ensure that someone walks away very disappointed at the department’s annual white elephant gift exchange…….

- Someone in Paradise Valley, Arizona has a f*cked-up, racist and possibly illegal sense of humor. That person turned what was supposed to be a special moment in the life of a local Jewish teen into a lesson on idiocy and intolerance. The teen’s birthday party was marred because some partygoers decided to decorate their cupcakes with swastika symbols. The incident went from a reason to never be invited to another party again to a major social media scandal after the teen’s mother posted images of the Nazi-themed cupcake on Facebook, writing that she hoped it could be used as a teaching moment for parents. The best part is that all of the girls involved in the incident are friends, according to the post, and they told the victim’s mother that they drew the symbols of hate on the sweet treats in an effort to be funny. Here’s a life lesson, ladies: If you’re old enough to be labeled a teenager, then you’re old enough to understand the general concept of what a swastika means and how much hate, anger and evil that symbol carries with it, especially for a Jewish person. So you drawing it on a cupcake isn’t some bad joke that didn’t go over well - it’s proof that you’re clueless, oblivious and probably not that smart. Where did the inspiration for this sad display come from? Apparently, the girls at the party had just had a lesson on the holocaust, so it was fresh in their minds. In a subsequent Facebook post, the victim’s mother said the girls had apologized and that their parents had spoken with them about the severity of using symbols such as a swastika. Sadly, it’s hard to cure someone of any age of being a moron………

Jews in South Dakota, Man U's lone entertainment and folks abandon "The Walking Dead"

- Like the resident on a remote country road who installs a lavishly decorated, painted mailbox made of thin aluminum and has to know that eventually that mailbox will meet its demise at the hands of a car full of teenagers armed with a baseball bat, the Swedish city of Gavle cannot be the least bit surprised. The city has unveiled a giant decorative goat made of straw and wood for 50 years running and while Sweden's Christmas Goat is a nice, creative addition to the holiday season, it’s also an annual Yuletide for some local pyromaniac with access to an accelerant and matches to set it ablaze and watch it burn. Gavle has set up this wood-and-straw goat for five decades and for virtually every year it has been up, the goat has gone down - in flames, that is. The goat rarely makes it through the holiday season intact, so it’s really only a matter of time and a question of who will be the one to send it up in flames. This year was no different and this incarnation of the goat had one of the shortest life spans to date. It was set ablaze just hours after it was inaugurated and what’s funny is that a webcam run by the local tourist office showed the frame of the goat was still standing but all the straw was gone. The question, Gavle tourist office, is why you aren't using that camera to find out who set the goat on fire. As of now, there is no word on suspects and honestly, it couldn’t matter less……..

- Manchester United has been wildly disappointing again this season, so why penalize the one part of the team that has been consistently entertaining up to this point? Jose Mourinho may not be doing a great job as coach given that his team is a distant third behind Arsenal and Tottenham in the Premier League standings, but at least the outspoken Portuguese has made for good viewing during the first half of the season. His latest antics came after being charged with improper conduct following his second dismissal in the space of the month during Manchester United's 1-1 draw with West Ham. Because of his growing list of misdeeds, Mourinho could be hit with a three-game touchline ban by the Football Association. His ban is expected to be shorter than the maximum, but he could get three games because he also served a one-game ban during the 3-1 Premier League victory at Swansea City earlier this month after admitting an FA charge of using "abusive and/or insulting words to an official" before being sent to the stands by referee Mark Clattenburg during the Old Trafford draw against Burnley in October. He chased that by having referee Jon Moss banish him in the 27th minute against West Ham for his reaction to a yellow card being shown to United midfielder Paul Pogba. The FA will also factor in a fine of nearly $60,000 earlier this month when Mourinho made public comments referee Anthony Taylor -- the fourth official against West Ham coincidentally - and at this rate, Mourinho might not get a three-game suspension right now, but he’s going to earn one eventually…….

- In one remote corner of South Dakota, the jokes about a priest, a pastor and a rabbi walking into a bar haven’t been applicable for quite a while. That’s because the state’s small, tight-knit Jewish community has been without a rabbi for several years, but that reality is about to change. This winter, Rabbi Mendel Alperowitz and his wife, Mussie, will arrive from New York to open a Jewish community center. Alperowitz  will open a Chabad House in Sioux Falls that will offer religious education, worship services and other programs. He’ll be based in Sioux Falls, but will also travel across the sparsely populated prairie state to connect with Jews — observant and nonobservant — who might want to reconnect with their faith. "It will be an open home. ... Our primary goal is to help ensure that there isn't one Jew in the entire state of South Dakota that feels lonely and disconnected and that every individual feels at home and inspired by our traditions,” Alperowitz said. As part of his duties, the house will host social and cultural activities for children and adults, including events for women only.  The rabbi will make his big splash by leading Hanukkah activities in the state when the holiday is observed next month. Jews first settled in what is now South Dakota during the gold rush more than 150 years ago, landing in Deadwood and carving out a niche selling hardware, groceries, dry goods and more. By 1920, the Jewish population swelled to about 1,300, but that number now rests around 400 people — less than a tenth of 1 percent of South Dakota's population. The optimistic Alperowitz estimates the number is closer to 1,000 and he’ll find out when he arrives to replace South Dakota's last rabbi, Stephen Forstein, a part-time rabbi who also operated a lighting supply business that took him around the state……..

- The NFL and a bunch of fictional television zombies now have a lot in common. Both are trying to figure out why the hell their television ratings keep dropping and what to do in order to turn those numbers around. While the NFL has leaned on the just-concluded presidential election to try to explain some of its reduced ratings, an über-low rating for a great game Sunday night between Kansas City and Denver suggests the problems run deeper. Now, about those zombies….numbers for “The Walking Dead” have bottomed out since the premiere episode of the show’s seventh season a few weeks ago. That season premiere drew in some 17.1 million viewers, becoming the second-highest rated episode in the show’s history. That number has steadily declined over the ensuing weeks and reached a concerning point with the fifth episode of the season, which aired last week and drew less than 11 million viewers. That number is worth noting because it’s the first time the show has had fewer than 11 million viewers since Season 3. Much like the NFL, AMC and the remaining fans of the show are attempting to determine why ratings are down. One theory is that viewers don’t like the way each episode this season moves to a completely different story and set of characters. That lack of continuity doesn’t seem to be good for business and continues a downward trend since the zombie drama hit its high-water mark in the Season 5 premiere, which remains the highest-rated episode in series history with 17.3 million viewers. There’s always the chance that the show has simply run out of steam after seven seasons and maybe AMC will have to move on to its next hit show………

College basketball tyrants, a fraudulent former Marine and Motley Crüe is no more

- The hammer has been dropped, although it’s probably wise not to give Brazilian President Michel Temer too much credit for announcing that there will be no amnesty for politicians who have taken illegal campaign contributions. First, Temer’s announcement is a completely transparent attempt to curry favor as he tries to quell growing discontent with his government. Secondly, the president remains deeply unpopular with many Brazilians and is now facing a growing political crisis amid allegations of misuse of power by he and his administration. Still, he put on a good show with his announcement, which he made flanked by the leaders of both houses of Congress. Temer tried to puff out his chest and appear imposing as he declared that anti-corruption measures before Congress will not let politicians off the hook who have hidden or not declared campaign contributions. That won't do much to convince the many Brazilians who are concerned the legislation to toughen prosecution of corruption might actually offer amnesty to politicians who had previously engaged in the practice. Anyone in Temer’s camp who believed that making this proclamation would silence the doubters and give the president a bit of leeway with the public was quickly dispossessed of that notion when opposition groups reacted to the announcement by planning even more protests calling for the president’s ouster. All in all, it’s simply another normal weekend in the long-running saga of a fiscally struggling, leadership-poor country that certainly doesn’t appear to have had its fortunes completely turned around by hosting both the Olympics and the World Cup in the past three years………

- As usual, the members of one of rock and rolls most dysfunctional bands are nowhere close to being on the same page, in the same book or even near the same library. On one hand, you have portly frontman and rumored Donald Trump inauguration muse Vince Neil suggesting that after Mötley Crüe completed their final tour last year, there was a glimmer of hope for a new album from the combustible rock outfit. “We’ve never said we were breaking up; we just said we’re not touring anymore. We’re gonna be definitely making more music together for different projects and stuff. But right now we’re really just focused on doing these shows this year and finishing with a bang,” Neil said earlier this year. That was clearly news to Nikki Sixx, who was asked about Neil’s remarks and was adamant that there is no chance of a new Mötley Crüe album. Of course, the same would have been said about touring when the band announced their split in 2014 after Neil, Sixx, guitarist Mick Mars and drummer Tommy Lee signed a “cessation of touring” agreement to ensure that none of the band could try reviving the band’s name for future shows. “I’m still close with Vince,” Sixx said when asked about the band’s status before insisting there was no way a new album would happen. “I want to just leave it intact. I see no reason. We couldn’t be creative as a band, so how the hell can we continue? But I’m glad the way it finished — we did it all, we did what we said we were going to do, and now I’m excited about the future.” The fact that all four members are still alive and haven’t overdosed on anything at this point is a reason to be excited, so maybe it’s the right call to leave all of this alone and move on………

- Stealing someone else’s life story and passing it off as your own is always a d-bag move. Stealing the life story of a combat veteran’s story of valor before using said story to scam the government out of a house and benefits is a whole new level of classless and that’s precisely the charge levied against a former Marine who is now facing 21 years in jail for his crimes. At the center o the mayhem is Brandon Blackstone, who allegedly passed himself off as Casey Owens, a Marine who lost both of his legs in 2004 when his Humvee hit an anti-tank mine and then killed himself after a decade of pain and fighting the Veterans Administration. “It took my breath away that someone would do something like that,” said Owens’ sister Lezleigh Owens Kleibrink. Blackstone recently pleaded guilty to defrauding the government and faces sentencing in February. The tie between the two Marines is that Blackstone and Owens were in the same unit in Iraq and Blackstone clearly followed his former war co-worker’s story enough that he was able to acquire a picture of the mangled Humvee involved in Owens’ accident and show it one of Owens’ Marine buddies who witnessed the explosion. “The only thing I can figure out is that he convinced himself,” Kleibrink said of the level of Blackstone’s deception. She and her mother plan to attend the sentencing hearing and say that they want Owens’ old Marines pals to know that his legacy is restored after Blackstone spent years telling countless audiences how he earned a Purple Heart when his Humvee ran over a land mine, leaving him with a traumatic brain injury. Based on that story and other falsified evidence, the Veterans Administration paid him monthly disability benefits and a charity bought him a house. Not bad for a pathological liar who actually left Iraq with a case of appendicitis……….

- Maybe it’s time for Morehead State basketball coach Sean Woods to stop following the lowly example of Donnie Tyndall. Woods came to Morehead State in 2012, replacing Tyndall, and started acting with a level of integrity and decency similar to the man he replaced. Tyndall moved on to Southern Mississippi and then Tennessee and is currently coaching in basketball’s minor league’s because the NCAA hit him with what amounts to a 10-year ban after the NCAA Committee on Infractions said Tyndall "acted unethically and failed to promote an atmosphere for compliance when he directed his staff to engage in academic misconduct" at Southern Miss. Woods might not be accused of academic misconduct, but he is under the microscope for some sort of misconduct and has been suspended with pay, effective immediately, while Morehead State investigates complaints it has received. "Resulting from complaints received, the institution has begun an investigation involving the head basketball coach. While we continue through the formal process, we believe it is prudent to suspend the coach until the investigation is finished," Morehead State athletic director Brian Hutchinson said. Hutchinson added that assistant coach Preston Spradlin will serve as head coach until the investigation is completed, but said the school wouldn’t comment further until that happens. Still, it doesn’t take too much information from the school to have a good idea of what’s going on since in his first season at the school back in 2012, Woods was suspended for a game for shoving a player and rumors of a similarly violent culture have swirled around ever since. On the plus side, Woods was 75-63 in his first four seasons and received a contract extension this past offseason through the 2019-20 campaign, but getting there by (allegedly) being either physically or verbally abusive with your players is probably not the best way to bolster your job security…….

Hatchet-based crime, Clint Eastwood's horses and Olympic cheaters caught

- It may have taken four or eight years, but the International Olympic committee finally brought the hammer of justice down on wrongdoers to cheated their way onto the podium at past editions of the Games. The IOC, a thoroughly corrupt group itself, should be able to recognize those who aren’t operating above board and that’s exactly what happened late last week as the committee stripped three gold medals and one silver medal in the latest positive doping retests from the 2008 and 2012 Olympics. The cheaters all hail from eastern European or Asian nations, as seven athletes from Belarus, Azerbaijan and Kazakhstan were retroactively sanctioned by the International Olympic Committee after testing positive in a reanalysis of their stored doping samples. The dopers and cheaters who will have to surrender their awards include Kazakhstan weightlifter Ilya Ilyin, who was formally stripped of two gold medals -- one each from the London and Beijing Games, both in the 94-kilogram class, and Aksana Miankova of Belarus, who was stripped of the Beijing gold medal in the women's hammer throw after the IOC said she tested positive for turinabol and oxandrolone. Ilyin’s positive test for the steroids stanozolol and turinabol was especially shocking because who would ever imagine that a weightlifter from a Third World country who somehow muscled his way past the rest of the world to win two straight gold medals might have to cheat to do so………

- Michelin gives and the health department takes away. Such is life for the first Danish restaurant ever to be awarded three stars by the Michelin ratings. Germanium, an über-popular eatery in Copenhagen, may not have its lofty rating for long after a visit from health inspectors who showed up not long ago for a routine visit and found some alarming elements at play in the kitchen. When the inspectors made their round, they found crayfish, scallops and oysters kept in fridges with temperatures up to 48.6 F — far above the maximum 35.6 F. It was an alarming find in a place that charges customers insane amounts of money and demands reservations weeks or even months in advance to enjoy food prepared by Geranium chef Rasmus Kofoed, but the good news for the popular eatery is that it won't be shut down at all and has merely been fined 20,000 kroner ($2,840) for storing fresh shellfish at too-high temperatures. However, Kofoed insisted that the errors had already been corrected and blamed them on staff perhaps not paying close enough attention to the proper food storage procedures. It’s really not the sort of news a restaurant wants to make in the same year that it becomes for first one in its entire country to attain the coveted three-star designation from Michelin, but this one doesn’t figure to cause Germanium to lower its sky-high prices in an attempt to win back the goodwill of the dining world………

- Is it an instance of two Hollywood titans at each other’s throats, tossing ugly accusations at one another? Not really, but it’s still interesting with an industry icon such as Tom Hanks describes a legend like Clint Eastwood was an “intimidating” director who “treats his actors like horses.” Hanks starred in “Sully,” Eastwood’s latest film, and the project was extremely successful both critically and commercially at the box office earlier this year. Hanks portrayed Chesley ‘Sully’ Sullenberger, the commercial airline pilot hailed an American hero after he managed to land his plane safely on New York City’s Hudson River in 2009. Hanks was asked what it was like to work with Eastwood and explained that it wasn’t a relaxed or easy workplace. “You certainly don’t want one of those Eastwood looks. He treats his actors like horses because when he did the ’60s series ‘Rawhide,’ the director would shout ‘Action!’ and all the horses bolted,” Hanks recalled.  “So when he’s in charge he says in a really quiet soft voice, ‘All right, go ahead,’ and instead of shouting ‘Cut!’ he says ‘That’s enough of that.’ It’s intimidating as hell!” There was also pressure, according to Hanks, because Sullenberger himself was “very particular” about how he was portrayed in the film. He said that when he met the pilot, Sullenberger noted that he was glad the actor was on time because Eastwood showed up late for his meeting with the pilot. Sullenberger than presented Hanks with a heavily notated script with sticky notes, index cards and other ideas written all over it and the two spent hours going through the entire script in detail………

- The holiday season is always good for a ton of awkward family moments the world never knows about, but the ones that do garner attention more than make up for the others’ anonymity. For instance, take what went down in Council Bluffs, Iowa over the long holiday weekend between two brothers who had a beef with each other and couldn’t find a way to resolve their issues without involving the police in a high-speed chase. According to the Council Bluffs Police Department, an argument between brothers Eric Carlson and the chaos began when the brothers got into an argument and things escalated quickly when Steven hit Eric multiple times and then held a hatchet to his throat. Despite the fact that there isn't nearly enough hatchet-based crime in the world these days, somehow Eric knew how to extricate himself and he was able to get to his car and drive away. When officers responded to the scene of the incident in the area of 27th and Poppleton to look for the older Carlson brother, they found him sitting alone in his car. When officers ordered Steven to get out of the vehicle, he refused and drove toward two officers at the scene. The officers were able to get out of the way, but Steven Carlson fled the scene and the officers pursued him until he crossed over into Omaha. There, the chase continued with other local law enforcement getting involved and officers used stop sticks to bring Carlson’s car to a stop. It came to a halt near 13th and Howard streets and faced with the reality that his flight from the law was over, Carlson held a knife to his throat. Officers used a Taser and a pepperball to try to capture Carlson, but he was able to withstand both and tried to drive away again, only to have his path blocked by police. Officers then sent in a K9 unit to help make the arrest and at long last, Carlson was taken into custody and charged with multiple offenses…….

Sport in court, Norway v. Martin Luther and the perils of being a rock star

- Let the unification of America begin. With its president-elect less than two months from taking office, the United States of America is banding together like never before and….threatening to tear itself apart before inauguration day ever gets here. For evidence, look no further than tiny Hampshire College, a liberal arts institution of about 1,400 students. The school has become a flashpoint for the rising tensions over Candy Peanut in Chief Donald Trump and his xenophobic, racist, misogynistic ways since the day after the presidential election, the Massachusetts college sided with students who lowered the flag to half-staff. The administration said it did so to build student rapport and facilitate discussion on what the flag represents, but the decision infuriated some in the Amherst community, where the college is located. The situation literally and figuratively heated up Nov. 10, when someone lit the campus’ American flag on fire and there was a push to take the flag down entirely. However, the following day was Veterans Day and school officials replaced the burned U.S. flag and flew one full-staff. The yo-yo act continued the next day when Hampshire trustees voted to lower the banner to half-staff again as “an expression of grief over the violent deaths being suffered in this country and globally, including the many U.S. service members who have lost their lives," President Jonathan Lash said. Lash later admitted he regretted the college taking that action as it caused some "unintentional distress" over a traditional expression of mourning, but one week later, he announced in a Facebook statement that the college had decided on November 18 that no flags, U.S. or otherwise, would fly over campus for the time being. Students can fly their own flags, but many, like Army veteran and state Rep. John Velis, are livid at the school and want the flag back up immediately……..

- It’s dangerous being a rock star. Mastodon frontman and guitarist Brent Hinds is living that harsh reality and it’s going to prevent him from making money and doing what he loves for a while. Hinds revealed this week that he broke his leg whilst trying to start his motorcycle, posting an image on his Instagram showing his leg wrapped in plaster and ice. “Broke my fucking leg starting my motorcycle goddamnit… lifes a bitch then you die :(,” Hinds wrote. Due to the injury, Hinds won't be able to go on tour at the end of this month with supergroup Giraffe Tongue Orchestra, made up of Alice in Chains singer William DuVall and Dillinger Escape Plan guitarist Ben Weinman. It was to be the band’s first-ever U.S. tour, beginning Nov. 29 in Boston. Because of the injury, Hinds may have to miss out, although the band hasn’t yet announced whether the shows will go ahead with Hinds or another musician in his place. The whole tour could be scrapped and given that Mastodon have also been in the studio in recent weeks working on their seventh studio album, which is due for release in 2017, Hinds doesn’t necessarily have a window of time where he can reschedule those early tour dates later on. Of course, in typical rock star fashion, his Instagram post also featured a woman in her underwear and a barely-there shirt hanging off her shoulder in the background, so it doesn’t appear life is all bad for Hinds at present……..

- Take that, founder of the Protestant Reformation. Martin Luther, the 16th century German theologian who started the movement that permanently changed the course of the church and religion, is hailed by many as a visionary and revolutionary within the world of faith, but the church that bears his name in Norway is distancing itself from him. Norway's state Lutheran Church has condemned Luther’s anti-Jewish legacy in a statement issued ahead of next year's 500-year anniversary of the Reformation. In its statement, the Church of Norway's General Synod said some of Luther's writings were later used in anti-Semitic propaganda, including in Nazi Germany. Granted, Luther existed well before the Third Reich and couldn’t possibly have known that his work would be used by a genocidal pack of ass hats in a country that didn’t exist during his life, but the church noted in its statement that such propaganda was also spread in Nazi-occupied Norway during World War II and therefore, "in the Reformation anniversary year of 2017, we as a church must clearly distance ourselves from the anti-Judaism that Luther left behind." For those not up on their church history, Luther's revolt against the abuses of the Roman Catholic church began in 1517 and yet with age he became increasingly hostile toward Jews and called for their persecution. It was an ugly ending for a man who did a lot of good in his life, but lots of famous thinkers, musicians, athletes and actors’ work falls off in the latter stages of their careers, so Luther was merely way ahead of his time……..

- The separation of sport and court is getting more and more blurred these days. First, a high shool football team in Illinois unsuccessfully sued to overturn the result of a playoff game it lost due to officials wrongly applying a penalty at the end of a game. Now, a Euro soccer hooligan is trying to extort some cash out of the governing body for European soccer and a referee who allegedly blew a call that somehow entitled him to compensation. Jose Antonio Campon, an Atletico Madrid fan, has filed a damage claim in a Spanish court against UEFA and English referee Mark Clattenburg, arguing that Real Madrid's goal in their 2016 Champions League final victory over his team should have been disallowed for offside. Why does that entitle him to $1,758 in compensation? According to the suit, filed in a court in Leganes, Madrid, the blown call set up Real Madrid winning the game in Milan on penalties following a 1-1 draw after 120 minutes. As Campon sees it, Clattenburg and his assistants had allowed Sergio Ramos' opening goal to stand when the defender appeared to be marginally offside.  The lawsuit alleges that the goal "altered the competition, benefiting one of the two teams." Attorney Carlos Mendez expects a ruling by the court within a few months. "If you go to the cinema and there is no sound, you get your money back. This is the same,” Mendez said. No, no it’s not. This hooligan went to the game, paid to see soccer and he saw soccer in all of its offense-deficient glory. He got two goals - two more than fans at most soccer games get to see - flopping, dives, ridiculous goal celebrations, faked injuries and his fellow drunken hooligans brawling in the stands. In other words, he got what he paid for, counselor. "There are norms and they have been violated. That is why we are filing a claim against the employer [UEFA] and the employee [Clattenburg] as those responsible,” Mendez added. According to Mendez, he and his client hope to win money they don’t deserve, er, bring about changes regarding the need of video technology to aid referees through the suit. The funniest part of the suit is that Campon is seeking just $169 to pay for his ticket, but $1,588 for “moral damages.” Dismissed with prejudice, ass hats………

Pizza = driver's license, a "Twins" sequel and European smugglign heats up

- There is no one whose fire burs hotter in the NFL than Baltimore Ravens wide receiver Steve Smith Sr., who has played his entire career as if someone slapped him in the face and insulted his mother before every practice and game. He’s fought with teammates in practice, scrapped with opponents before, during and after games and still remembers media members who panned his selection as a third-round pick. He’s playing with a chip on his shoulder that’s as big now as it was when he entered the league more than a decade ago. So given that he caught eight passes for 99 yards and a touchdown in that game, including his 1,000th career reception, in a 27-17 loss to Dallas last week, how is Smith feeling? Pissed off, of course, because he has been called out by two rookie cornerbacks this season. Believe it or not, he doesn’t give a sh*t what some unproven DBs think of him…but he doesn’t sound happy about it. "I can really give a flying f---," Smith said after Cowboys rookie cornerback Anthony Brown said he had lost all respect for Smith after seeing how much trash he talked in a losing effort. That came after Jacksonville Jaguars cornerback Jalen Ramsey attacked Smith on social media earlier this year. "Older guys, they understand the respect game. These young guys, these new millennium guys, they don't really get it," Smith said. "I've had two rookies that unfortunately, they have lost all respect for me, so it's been really keeping me up at night. It's tragic. I've been losing sleep. With all the lack of sleep, I know we lost, but I was almost unable to send my cleats and gloves all the way to Canton because of the lack of the sleep thing." Keep playing angry, Steve……..

- The tales of illicit smuggling are just rocking the greater European region this week and the hits just keep on coming. First, Estonia gets its socks knocked off by the commander of its navy being linked to the scandalous smuggling of cigarettes and alcohol through its ports and now, Croatia is dealing with the fallout from a turtle smuggling ring that has obviously shaken a nation to its foundation. Yes, Croatian customs authorities say they have prevented the smuggling of 715 live turtles, a protected species in the European Union's newest member state, proving that when the EU welcomed Croatia to its ranks, it gained a country that takes seriously the plight of all of God’s creatures, great and small. According to authorities, the discovery was made Thursday in the Zupanja area, near the border with Bosnia. It was a history-making occasion, taking its rightful position atop the list as the biggest single seizure of live animals in Croatia. Details are still coming in and authorities haven’t revealed where the turtles were headed or if they knew the parties responsible for the turtle shipment, but it’s not a surprise because the smuggling of rare or protected animals has flourished in the impoverished Balkans in the aftermath of the wars in the 1990s. The region became something of a wide-open, lawless place for those looking to ship, buy and sell such items and judging by this latest incident, that problem hasn’t been fully resolved just yet……….

- Because #Hollywood. There is nothing Hollywood loves more than remaking, recycling and regurgitating old ideas, be it a straight remake or a sequel of a movie that’s a known commodity, so of course a sequel to the 1980s comedy “Twins” is reportedly in the works, bringing the sort-of-dynamic duo of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito together again with another hilarious twist - casting Eddie Murphy as the duo’s brother. The original “Twins” was released in 1988, starring Schwarzenegger and DeVito as a pair of unlikely twins separated at birth. It’s funny because Schwarzenegger is a massive Austrian and former bodybuilder, while DeVito is a sub-5-foot American who….never mind, you get the point. So what better way to ratchet up the comedic hijinks further than by adding a black guy as the long-lost sibling for these hilariously mismatched brothers? The truly unbelievable thing here is that it took 28 years to green-light a sequel for a film that was a massive box office success, grossing $216 million worldwide. Talk of a sequel originally flared up in 2012, when Universal announced plans for a sequel under the title of “Triplets.” The studio reportedly had commitments from Schwarzenegger and DeVito to appear, but the project never materialized and everyone simply forgot about it. However, director Ivan Reitman has now confirmed that the idea is alive and well. “We’re trying to get a script,” Reitman said, indicating that the project is still in its early stages. Early stages or not, it’s a sequel and as such, you’d damn well better believe it’s going to get made……… 

- Never change, drunk college students. You’re an endless source of entertainment, a chance for the world around you to shake its collective head in disbelief, laugh its ass off and wonder how you keep finding new ways to hit rock bottom. In this season of giving, hearing about a drunk college chick who tried to use a slice of pizza as a form of identification to get into a bar and then b*tch-slapped the bouncer who refused to accept her piece of a pie as proof of her age is a gift we can all enjoy. It all went down at the aptly named Monkey Bar, where co-owner Rasif Rafiq’s security staff encountered a woman who most likely had consumed a few alcoholic beverages before she even arrived at this fine establishment and must have stopped by a local pizzeria to funnel some food into her stomach in an effort to soak up the alcohol. Why the bouncer refused to accept pizza as proof of being old enough to drink is unclear because we all know that Pizza Hut, Domino’s, Papa John’s, Little Caesar and every local pizza joint is not going to sell a cheap, hastily made circle of dough covered in cheap sauce, mozzarella and various meats and vegetables to anyone under the age of 21. Having a slice of deep dish is just as good as having a viable driver’s license, so the bouncer was clearly out of line and probably deserved to be slapped for refusing the drunk chick entry to a place where she could continue her dogged pursuit of alcohol poisoning. When the woman became aggressive, a police officer in the area intervened, further worsening this woman’s night by issuing her a trespassing notice forcing her to stay away from the Monkey Bar. That might not even matter because if a local watering hole treated you that way, would you ever want to go back? This bar may have lost itself a potentially very profitable customer…….

Dorkdom meets metal, why kangaroos aren't pets and MLB's impending buzzkill

- Did you know that there’s a country called Estonia? And did you know that Estonia has a navy? Oh, and did you know that the commander of said Estonian Navy has resigned after customs officials said they found smuggled alcohol and cigarettes aboard an Estonian ship taking part in NATO operations on the Baltic Sea? It’s all true and why this sort of scandal isn’t typically a reason you want the whole world looking at your tiny, oft-ignored Baltic nation, sometimes you have to take what you can get and in this case, what Estonia got it Captain Sten Sepper taking full responsibility for the 56 cases of undeclared cigarettes and 1,000 liters of undeclared liquor customs officials seized from aboard the Estonian minehunter Sakala earlier this month. Yes, dude was brought down by booze and lung darts, according to the Estonian Defense Ministry. No offense to Estonia, but it’s not exctly like the commander was accepting bribes to overlook human trafficking through the port, or selling shiploads of illegal weapons to mercenaries on the dock. Yet cancer sticks and quality vodka were enough for Sepper to tender his resignation to Defense Minister Hannes Hanso, who described the incident as "unacceptable." The taint of the scandal was enough to also compel the Sakala's commander, Lt. Cmdr. Ott Laanemets, to announce his resignation. The scandal remains cloaked in a bit of mystery, as authorities haven't released details on where the contraband was picked up or where it was being taken, although a criminal investigation has been launched………

- Remember all of those warm, fuzzy feelings swirling around Major League Baseball as the 2016 season came to a close? Yeah, well MLB owners and the players’ union may be about to take a blowtorch to all of them. The two sides are barreling toward a Dec. 1 deadline for a new collective bargaining agreement and if they don’t strike a new accord, then a lockout is likely to ensue. The good news is that those surrounding the negotiations are optimistic that talks have progressed to the point where there’s a legitimate chance for a new deal before owners impose a lockout. Owners and the union have been hung up for weeks over several major issues, one of them being the idea of an international draft rather than a giant free-for-all allowing teams to throw massive bonuses and negotiating fees at international prospects. Other topics on the table include the elimination of draft-pick compensation for teams that sign free agents and a new luxury tax/revenue-sharing formula. Despite the progress, owners have reportedly made preparations for a potential lockout of the union, though the progress has been helped along by the fact that a lockout is a hard line both sides must deal with rather than a soft deadline that could be pushed back. And true, a December lockout wouldn't result in lost games, but it would put a lockdown on all typical offseason activity, including free-agent movement and cutting off funding of benefits to players. Not only that, locking someone out creates all sorts of bad feelings and could set the negotiating process back several steps in the wake of a memorable postseason that produced the highest World Series ratings in a decade and a half. The clock is ticking, fellas………

- And this is why we don’t keep marsupials as pets. Because trying to contain a kangaroo is not like trying to keep a dog chained up, something a Rankin County, Mississippi family learned when Boomer, their pet kangaroo, escaped from his cage this week. The animal’s owners posted a Facebook message claiming that Boomer and several dogs got out of their yard when an unknown individual opened the gates. Rankin County Undersheriff Raymond Duke and other Rankin County Sheriff's deputies began searching for the AWOL ‘roo around 5 p.m. and thanks to a call alerting them to a conspicuously out-of-place, two-legged, tail-having hopper on Star Road near Highway 49. Deputies hurried to the scene and because local sheriff’s deputies typically aren’t trained in proper kangaroo apprehension, they attempted to lasso and tranquilize the animal but were unsuccessful. Boomer got away, escaping into the woods. Authorities continued to work with the family to find and apprehend the missing kangaroo and according to the owner, Boomer ran straight to her husband when the animal was finally located a second time. It remains unclear who decided it would be funny to release the hounds - and their kangaroo friend - for a romp around town, but in the wake of this incident, the family has chosen not the best option - giving their kangaroo to a zoo where it might actually be well-housed - but rather to install extra surveillance equipment and locks to ensure that the gate is not opened again. Yes, because that will definitely fix the problem forever…….

- Rarely has someone combined dork-dom and would-be-rock-and-roll-badassery quite the way a group of nerds known as Galactic Empire have and now, these aspiring rock stars are one step closer to realizing their dream - of having their mundane metal offerings ignored by millions. Galactic Empire are, of course, a Star Wars-themed metal band who released their cover version of the franchise’s iconic theme song last year. Based on that effort, they were then able to raise $61,000 through a crowdfunding campaign and with that money, they will be able to record a full album and play tour dates in support of the project. The boys of Galactic Empire announced that their self-titled album will be released on Feb. 3 via Rise Records. A post on their Kickstarter page describes the band as “a heavy metal band comprised of the most sinister villains in the universe.” Yes, as long as patterning your bands’ style after a fake universe of outer-space weirdos makes you sinister, then these guys are truly hard core. “We have successfully infiltrated earth’s “internet” with our first music video, accumulating 8 million total views, press coverage from Huffington Post, Entertainment Weekly and MSNBC (among many others), and a live network television performance on E! Entertainment during their coverage of the 2016 Academy Awards,” Galactic Empire wrote in the post. “The puny humans of your small forest planet Earth have indicated a desire to see the mighty Galactic Empire perform our music in a live scenario. We would be most pleased to fulfill this request.” Dweebs to the cosmic end, eh fellas…….

Russia's F.U. to Japan, Fall Out Boy's pub grab and why athletes lie

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- Ever wish professional athletes could just speak the truth and not have to lie for the sake of keeping up appearances? If they could, then Washington Redskins quarterback Kirk Cousins would not be selling the line of absolute bullsh*t he’s trying to pawn off on the world in the wake of his latest postgame shouting session. Cousins famously yelled, “You like that? You like that!” after a big win last season, one that went a long way toward silencing doubters who wondered whether he was a viable NFL starting quarterback. Yet after last season, when he wanted $20 million per season in a new contract, the Redskins' best offer was $16 million and he’s playing this season under a one-year franchise player tag because the two sides couldn’t agree on a long-term deal. One of those who wouldn’t give him the contract he wanted was general manager Scot McCloughan, who just so happened to be the target for Cousins’ newest rant, one in which he stopped and shouted, “How do you like me now?" at the GM before tussling McCloughan’s hair as he kept running into the tunnel. That came after throwing for 300-plus yards and three touchdowns in a primetime win over the Green Bay Packers and it would seem like the perfect time to get in the face of someone who clearly didn’t believe in you - at least not the way you wanted them to. Yet Cousins insists that there is no underlying motivation for his shouted words. "No, there's nothing," Cousins said. "I was just excited coming off the field with emotion. I would prefer for that to happen with no cameras and no microphones. We're both competitors who want to win desperately and both feeling great in that moment.” It’s a professional response, but one no one is/should be buying………

- Sometimes, morons are difficult to spot in life. This is not one of those times. No, the world can clearly identify William Edwards as swimming in the shallow end of the gene pool given that he a) was leaving a trip club at 2:15 a.m., b) got behind the wheel of his Ford pickup truck while intoxicated, c) drove away with the door ajar and fell out of the truck, d) ran over his own leg and e) crashed into a nearby home, injuring a woman inside. According to the Florida Highway Patrol, Edwards was leaving the Dance Royale Club on Old Cheney Highway early in the morning despite the fact that club security said they had warned Edwards not to drive because he had had too much to drink and in a shocking turn of events, the night went sideways in a hurry. Before he could even make it out of the parking lot, Edwards fell out of the truck, which rolled over his legs, continued traveling across Old Cheney Highway and crashed into a house. A woman audacious enough to be asleep inside her own home at 2:15 a.m. while living within drunk-driving distance of a strip club where lecherous drunks hang out was injured, although fortunately her injuries were not serious enough to necessitate a trip to the hospital. In his final brilliant decision of a regrettable evening, Edwards ran away from the scene of the crash without reporting the crash, but authorities were able to identify and arrest him because he left his driver’s license at the club. Oh, and because he left his truck lodged in the side of a house, so there’s that too. All in all, it’s another on the exhaustive list of reasons not to ever visit a strip club at any point in your life…….

- Thanks for the publicity grab, Fall Out Boy. Because make no mistake, that’s precisely what reissuing two of your early albums next month not long after announcing that your merry band of pop-punksters will be working on new music is and nothing more. Bassist Pete Wentz told the crowd during the band’s set at Reading festival that FOB will be “back with new music,” which is a sobering promise that Reading attendees that they may be subjected to songs like ‘Sugar, We’re Goin Down’ and ‘Dance, Dance’ again. As for those reissues albums, FOB will seek to grab both extra cash and more publicity by re-releasing ‘From Under The Cork Tree’ and ‘Infinity On High,’ with both albums dropping - for a second time - on vinyl next month. The vinyl aspect is nice tip of the cap to hipsters who want to add a mediocre album from a forgettable band to their vinyl collection they use to impress their fellow hipsters at their hipster parties stocked with obscure craft beers, but reissuing a pair of albums from a decade ago isn't really going to generate much of an actual impact. The most recent FOB album, ‘American Beauty/American Psycho,’ was released last year and turned out the usual supply of radio-friendly, teeny-bopper pop-punk anthems for which the band has become famous. Wentz said at Reading that the show would be the last one primarily featuring songs from the new album, after which he made the threat/promise that new material would be on the way soon. But before then, world, enjoy a couple of albums you heard and got tired of 10 years ago……..

- Russia is pushing its incendiary chips to the middle of the table and staking its claim, daring Japan to do a damn thing about it. According to the Russian military, Moscow has deployed new anti-ship missiles on Pacific islands that are controlled by Russia but also claimed by Japan in the process taking time off from trying to (allegedly) rig American presidential elections to stick a massive, communist middle finger in the face of the Far East. The official military mouthpiece of Russia's Pacific Fleet reported that Bal and Bastion missile systems have been stationed on the islands, called the southern Kurils by Russia and the Northern Territories by Japan, in what can only be described as a deliberately provocative move. The long-running dispute over the islands, seized by the Soviet Union at the end of World War II, has remained such a hot-button issue that it has literally prevented the two nations from signing a peace treaty formally ending their wartime hostilities. This move probably won't help matters, but it should make for excellent conversation when Russian President/dictator Vladimir Putin visits Japan next month. Then, Putin can explain why he chose to drop a metaphorical bomb directly on top of Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe’s recent pleas for progress in the territorial dispute……..

The 'roiding Bears, a loser and his chip cans and Snoop bottoms out

- Once again, a group of embattled workers misses the point when they try to stage a game-changing work stoppage. This time, it’s a union representing pilots at German airline Lufthansa and they’re locked in a long-running dispute over pay, which is neither surprising nor a huge deal for the world at large. What is worth noting is that these morons have decided to use one of the average worker’s most powerful tools, a work stoppage, in all the wrong ways. See, the Cockpit Union announced beforehand that pilots of all short- and long-haul flights out of Germany would go on strike tomorrow, claiming that Lufthansa has been posting "very good numbers for years" but that its pilots haven't seen any consequent pay increases. Those facts are up for dispute, but what is not is that if the union really wanted to make an impact, it would give no warning of a strike and all of its pilots would simply not show up for work one day, leaving the airline totally f*cked and with a real-life disaster on its hands. That would drive Lufthansa to the bargaining table mighty quickly and if the union is really of the opinion that "an offer of 2.5 percent is no offer," then an unannounced strike is the way to go. If they went that way, the pilots just might get the 3.66 percent yearly raise for 5 1/2 years they’re seeking. Lufthansa called the union's position "absolutely incomprehensible,” which is corporate titan-speak for, we’ll up our offer by .5 percent if you come back to the bargaining table…….

- Who knew that the hip-hop cred of the D.O.-double-G could fall so far, so fast…and with such high ratings? Yes, the artist formerly known as rapper Snoop Dogg, the pimp-tastic, pot-smoking, rhyme-droppin’ G, is now the sidekick former inside trader and fallen domestic diva Martha Stewart and furthermore, the duo’s basic cable reality show has been renewed for a second season after a mere two episodes. “Martha & Snoop’s Potluck Dinner Party,” which doesn’t actually involve any on-screen pot usage despite its misleading name, is a cookery-based chat show teaming up the two unlikely allies. It debuted on Nov. 7 and the second episode aired a week later, after which VH1 ordered a second season of the show. “Martha and Snoop are the modern day ‘Odd Couple’ and the reigning King and Queen of pop culture. Wait until you see what happens in season two,” VH1 president Chris McCarthy said of the show. The first episode, which can still be viewed on the network’s website, featured guest stars Seth Rogen, Ice Cube and Wiz Khalifa, who were tasked with determining which of the show’s hosts made the best fried chicken. “I don’t know who’s going to be more fried by the end of the show,” Stewart said at the start of the episode, a not-so-subtle reference to Snoop’s love of cannabis. Apparently that sort of comedy is ratings gold, to the point that VH1 had to have itself a heaping second helping of what is actually the least-terrible reality show it has cranked out in quite some time……..

- Losers: They’re all around us. We’re reminded of that fact often at times such as right now, where we hear that a guy named Gregg Halverson has amassed a collection of over 1,000 old potato chip cans, proving he has neither friends nor self-respect because if he had either, someone would have stopped him after about five chip cans. Potato chips don’t really come in cans these days and if you ask Halvorson, that’s a damn shame. "Potato chips taste just as good, they may taste even better out of a chip can," he said. The good news - if there can be good news for a loser like this guy - is that Halvorson knows he has a problem. "It's more of an obsession than a collection," he said. "Each brand has a little different oil, a little bit different cut, a little different seasoning, a little bit different salt. He claims to have cans from virtually every company that has ever put dried potato slivers in a metal tube, including one from a company with a rather unfortunate name. "How would you like to be a manufacturer that when we were bombing the Japanese to be called Japps," Halvorson asked. "What the Japps did is they changed their brand, they went from Japps to Jays.” Part of Halvorson’s collection is displayed at Black Gold farms in Grand Forks, N.D., where he is the company president, while the rest of the canisters are in storage because there isn't enough shelf space to display all of them in one place. In spite of that fact - and the fact that he looks like a knob for compiling all of these useless items - is that Halvorson is still adding to his collection. "There's always room for one more," he added. All in all, a story that no one’s life is better off for knowing………

- It’s not what’s in the water in Chicago, but what’s in the bottle….or jar….or needle. Whatever members of the Chicago Bears are using to jam illegal substances into their bodies because that is happening at an alarming rate, as Bears linebacker Jerrell Freeman has been suspended without pay for four games for violating the NFL's policy on performance-enhancing substances, becoming the second high-profile Bears player to be suspended for PEDs in the past week. He joins Pro Bowl wide receiver Alshon Jeffery, who received a four-game suspension for violating the league's PED policy last Monday. Granted, the Bears are terrible at 2-8 on the season - the third-worst record in the NFL this season - and getting suspended for PED use is a convenient way to extricate yourself from a dumpster fire of a season that’s headed nowhere but a top-three pick in next spring’s NFL draft. Neither Freeman nor Jeffrey will ever own that they wanted out and that’s probably not why either took their respective PEDs, but it’s a nice side benefit in the midst of the mess.  "Much like with Alshon, I'm very disappointed," Bears coach John Fox said. "We don't accept it. I think we put a lot of time and money into governing it and watching over it. Like I said before, while they're in this building, unfortunately they don't live here.” Freeman may have decided to PED-up because he signed a three-year contract worth $6 million guaranteed in the offseason and wants to live up to that deal - and maybe it’s working because he’s one of the Bears' leading tacklers. His suspension begins immediately and he’s eligible to rejoin the team on Monday, Dec. 19 following the club's home game versus the Green Bay Packers, but in the meantime, Fox denies that the Bears have a PED problem. "I don't think this is unique to the Bears. It's an issue everywhere in the league," he said. Yes, but if players on other teams are doing it, their cheating is helping their team much more than it’s helping yours………

Deadpool creative differences, hair-hacking MMAers and Spain's dicator nostalgia

- Was the mane sacrifice worth it for a fighter who didn’t deliver a main-event-level performance? Ahead of the Invicta FC 20 pay-per-view event this weekend, fighter Samantha Diaz showed up for the weigh-in for her strawweight bout against Miranda Maverick two ounces above the weight limit for the fight. Like so many wrestlers, boxers and mixed martial artists before her, she had a quandary to solve. She could either miss out on the fight and the accompanying payday or find a quick, drastic way to shave off the excess weight. Diaz, who has a pretty awesome mane she admitted has taken her years to grow, elected to take drastic steps and chopped off several inches of her hair on the spot. Fellow fighter Esther Lin posted a photo on Instagram showing a towel-clad Diaz holding her lost hair and wrote, “So you wanna be a f***ing fighter? I got to help Samantha Diaz make weight by cutting her hair. What a boss she is!” The real question is how much hair Diaz would have been willing to clip if that first cut hadn't been enough, but fortunately for her, she didn’t have to find out. The impromptu cut paid off and she weighed in at 115.9 pounds - plus she looked great with her new ‘do. Unfortunately for her, the good news for the weekend ended there. The following night, Diaz stepped into the cage with Maverick and didn’t even survive the first round, as Maverick won the bout via submission thanks to a rear-naked choke at the 4:26 mark of the opening stanza………

- Way to stay outdated and ignorant, Spain. Not all of you, of course; just the hundreds among your number who are clearly nostalgic for the nation's fascist dictatorship of years gone by, the fools who gathered in a Madrid square to commemorate the 41st anniversary of Francisco Franco's death. Celebrating the demise of a despot isn't the worst thing in the world to do, but gathering to lament his passing and wistfully musing about how the nation would be better if it returned to that sort of dictatorial rule is both sad and delusional. There’s nothing good to say about you, hundreds of misguided souls who turned out for an outdoor rally in the Spanish capital organized by fringe right-wing parties. The sights and sounds of these kooks singing songs and waving old flags from Franco's four-decade reign that ended when he died in 1975 at the age of 83 was simply a sad reminder of how inept Spain’s current government has been and how much the country continues to struggle fiscally - along with a refresher on how clueless and moronic humanity can be, lusting for a time when a horrific dictator ruled their country with an iron fist. Fans of Francisco love recalling how his forces won the 1936-1939 civil war to overthrow Spain's democratically elected government with the help of Nazi Germany and fascist Italy and some of those people even rallied at Franco's giant mausoleum north of Madrid late last week, demanding that it become a memorial site for the anti-fascist struggle during the civil war. All in all, a truly forgettable weekend for a normally awesome country………

- Creative differences have finally affected change in the director’s chair for one of the most-anticipated action movie sequels in some time. “Deadpool 2” was to be the second collaboration between director Tim Miller and star Ryan Reynolds, but that planned partnership went the way of Shia LeBouf’s acting career because of creative differences that prompted Miller to hit the eject button/be fired. Miller and Reynolds reportedly enjoyed a close relationship while making the original film, but that relationship went sour somewhere along the way despite a movie made for a mere $60 million - a scant amount for a superhero movie - that went on to bank an impressive $780 million worldwide. That much money should usually be enough to incentivize everyone to return if possible, but it can also bloat egos and propel the power-hungry to seek more creative control. In this case, it’s brought in “John Wick” director David Leitch, who comes aboard a month after Miller exited stage left. Leitch was offered the gig following a meeting with Reynolds in New York City, news that won't sit well with “Deadpool” fans who had the pie-in-the-sky dream of Quentin Tarantino taking over the franchise when Miller was shown the door. Social media campaigns to bring Tarantino on board clearly came up short, which is probably for the best because the famed director has a very distinct style he impresses upon all of his films and that could have jerked with Deadpool’s own established style. Even with the directorial change, writers Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick remain from the original film and the project is set to begin shooting early next year…….

- Maybe this employee will actually be bothered to give a damn and help customers within half an hour of entering their local Bay Area Lowe’s, unlike the other apron-clad slackers typically employed by the home improvement store chain.  LoweBot is a robot that roams the aisles at several Bay Area stores, a bilingual helper who can assist customers in finding what they need among the 7,466 different departments, nooks and crannies in the 17-acre monstrosity that is your average Lowe’s store “Can I help you find something?” LoweBot asks customers. It’s the creation of Lowe’s Innovation Labs and according to the department’s  executive director, this isn't the first step in the robot uprising in which artificial intelligence slowly takes over and human beings are subjugated beneath the metal, tread-covered feet of our eventual mechanical masters. “Not at all. This was designed from the ground up to be an assistant to the store helper,” executive director Kyle Nel said. “You just tell it what you’re looking for.” Nel gave a demonstration of the robot’s capabilities and although a request for help finding hammers initially stumped LoweBot as it rolled down a busy aisle packed with products, the robot eventually found the hammers by communicating with the store’s central computer for the items’ location while using lasers and cameras to navigate. There could be some kinks to work out and the yet odds of a LoweBot malfunctioning and still being more helpful than the average Lowe’s employee remain remarkably high………

Kirbati saves the sharks, soccer sex bans and Green Day 'splains its lost album

- It’s a forgotten album virtually no one is wondering about the fate of, but thanks to Green Day for finally ‘splaining what happened to its lost album, “Cigarettes and Valentines.” The unreleased project was written and recorded in 2003 and originally slated to be the follow-up to 2000’s “Warning,” but it ultimately got lost in the musical ether because wen the album was nearly finished, the recordings were stolen from the studio. As a result, Green Day wrote and released “American Idiot,” which has gotten a lot of mileage and given rise to a musical of the same name. Eventually, rough mixes of the “Cigarettes” tracks were recovered and the record’s title track was recorded and later released as part of the live album “Awesome As Fuck.” Those who have heard parts of “Cigarettes” say it is an up-tempo effort hailing back to early Green Day albums - back when they were a legit punk band and not a bunch of mainstream rock conformists - like “Kerplunk” and “Insomniac.” Conspiracy theory posits that the album was released as ‘Money Money 2020’ by side-project The Network, a claim frontman Billie Joe Armstrong has repeatedly denied. “It’s pretty much in the vault right now,” Armstrong said of the lost album. “There was the one song, ‘Cigarettes and Valentines,’ that we brought out live, I don’t know, we’ll see if any of that stuff ends up seeing the light of day.” Bassist Mike Dirnt echoed those sentiments, noting that the group wants to move ahead rather than dwell on what used to be. “There’s always a lot in the vault, but we tend to look forward rather than reaching back,” Dirnt said. And of course, there’s always time to “leak” that album should the band entirely fall off the musical map and need something to generate a little publicity at any point in the distant future……..

- Pollution is a problem in certain parts of California, but this probably isn't the way to go about cleaning it up. It was a scene straight out of a straight-to-DVD movie in the streets around San Jose International Airport in Santa Clara, California, as thousands of gallons of fire retardant spilled out in a malfunction of a fire suppression system at a private hangar, creating a giant blob of foam that filled the 60-foot-high airport hangar before oozing out into the streets around 2 p.m. "Something triggered the (fire alarm) system to go off," said Capt. Mitch Matlow of the San Jose Fire Department, which responded to the scene. "As far as I know, there never was a fire, there never was a fuel leak. But no one can go inside the building because the foam is still inside the building." According to Signature Flight Support, which operates the building, the foam first filled the entire hanger before bursting through doors, windows and air vents and creeping down roads as befuddled onlookers gathered and watched the foamy mass envelop entire vehicles and block traffic. Even on the fringes, the blob was several feet high and work crews  blocked off storm drains to prevent the foam from spilling into nearby creeks. An airport spokesperson said the incident had no effect on flight operations because the foam-filled facility is on the opposite side of the airport from the terminals, but outside the airport, chaos reigned. Workers made sure to collect the water they use to dilute the foam and rinse the streets so it didn’t contaminate anything else, but a warning to avoid touching the foam because it could cause skin or eye irritation went ignored by a few folks who posed for photos in the foam to share on social media……..

- The great Sex Curfew Scandal goes on…with no clear resolution in sight. On one side is French midfielder Samir Nasri, is on a year-long loan at Sevilla, but who previously played for Manchester City and its Spanish head coach, Pep Guardiola. Now out from under Guardiola’s thumb, Nasri claimed that the Catalan coach banned his players from having sex after midnight, alleging that Guardiola said he introduced the curfew at former clubs Barcelona and Bayern Munich because it helped top players like Lionel Messi and Robert Lewandowski avoid injuries. Some coaches and boxing trainers have long had the belief that their athletes or fighters should avoid getting after it in the sheets close to a game or match lest they have tired legs, but Guardiolia insists that he’s not in that camp. He joked that his Manchester City players wouldn't be playing as well if he had introduced a sex ban. "It's impossible to play good football if you don't make sex with your partner," Guardiola said. "I never did that and I would never ban that. If you are doing it, better players." That’s one way to attack allegations that you’re a prude, eh Pep? Suggest that you actually want your players to get some because it makes them more effective on the pitch…solid play. Guardiola has banned WiFi access during team meals, eliminated hotel stays on the night before home games and cut players’ access to junk food since taking over last summer, so he’s definitely not averse to telling his players what they can or can’t do away from the pitch……..

- They may be tiny, but the island nation of Kiribati isn't letting that fact stop them from trying to make a big impact on the world. The small country located near New Zealand has established a large shark sanctuary that will help ensure the creatures are protected across much of the central Pacific, a move its leaders hope will put them on the map - a good thing because most people in the world have no idea where to find Kiribati on the map. Vice President Kourabi Nenem spoke at the sanctuary’s launch, declaring that his country is  committed to protecting sharks from exploitation and overfishing. Among the central tenets of the sanctuary is the banning of shark fishing in the area, which is about the size of India. Kiribati is following the example set by Palau, which established the first shark sanctuary in the region in 2009 and has been followed by the Marshall Islands, French Polynesia and other nations. It’s a growing effort by a group of small island nations banding together in an effort to make their mark on a world in which the Pew Charitable Trusts estimates 100 million sharks are killed each year by commercial fisheries. According to the organization, sharks are vulnerable to overfishing because they're slow to mature and reproduce. The predators are prized for their fins, which are used in shark fin soup, but at least now they have an even bigger area where they can go and be safe from nets and spears……..

Monsters of Folk return, self-loathing NBA stars and Massachusetts' ganja tax debate

- Here’s your regular reminder that there are places in the world that are still colossally f*cked-up on account of being stuck in the bygone, socially retarded beliefs of forgotten ages. It comes frm Burma - a.k.a. you might know us as Myanmar - where a kook pleaded guilty Friday to killing three children in front of their families over two days in a horrific display of ancient superstition. "I did it because I lost control of my mind at that time as the dark spirit took over me,” Tun Naing informed the court in Twante, a village south of the major city of Yangon. Yes, the time-tested, mythical showdown in which one ass hat tells parents that their children are possessed, then proceeds to punch and kick a 3-year-old boy and two girls, ages 8 months and 2 years, to death during an exorcism ritual. Whatever happened to tying them down to a bed and holding some mythical crystal over their body while chanting in some ancient language, T. Naing? According to an uncle of the boy, villagers were given “blessed” water and were not in a right state of mind as they stood in a circle with Naing reciting incantations. “Because of what he did, everyone was out of their mind,” the uncle explained. But if Naing was doing his religious duty, then why did he hide the bodies of the deceased children? Oh, and two days later, he severely wounded a 4-year-old girl in a nearby village in another ritual, prompting local people to call for his arrest, so there’s that as well. Unfortunately, superstition and belief in spirits is common in Myanmar alongside the dominant Buddhist religion, which means this probably isn't the last time sh*t like this will happen………

- Blunt, no-punches-pulled assessments from disappointed professional athletes are the best. A bummed-out professional athlete who is making eight figures a year but is really pissed off about how his team is performing is a lovely contradiction because said athlete will go from that locker room interview into a sports or luxury vehicle worth six figures, drive home to a beautiful, expensive home and sleep in a bed where a 400-thread-count sheet would be considers substandard. The fact that this athlete is legitimately upset about a loss is a nice juxtaposition against that back drop and therefore, big ups to Portland Trail Blazers star Damian Lillard for his blunt assessment of his team after its 126-109 loss to the Houston Rockets. "We kind of suck right now," Lillard said.  "It's that simple. We're just not very good right now. We've just got to keep fighting. It's important for our team to stay together, and I think that's one of the biggest strengths of our team, is we stay together. If we try to stay positive, and we just keep working and keep fighting, I think at some point it'll click. We'll get it right, and things will be fine. But I think everybody's frustrated." The weird twist is that even with their second straight loss, the Blazers are still 7-6 and right in the middle of the pack in the Western Conference. It’s not as if they’ve lost seven in a row or are 2-15 on the season, but they do rank 27th in the league in defensive efficiency (107.3), which measures the number of points a team allows per 100 possessions. For a team that made it to the second round of the playoffs last season, that clearly isn't good enough, not according to their star point guard……….

- This, state governments, is the debate you should be having on the topic of legalizing ganja. Not whether you should allow citizens of your state to recreationally burn the hippie lettuce, but rather how much you’re going to profit from it. Because sooner or later, every state is going to legalize it and the ones kicking themselves will be those who waited too long and don’t have the conversation as soon as lawmakers in Massachusetts are having it. With less than a month away until it becomes legal to possess, smoke and grow marijuana in the Bay State, legislators may not agree on how to spend the revenue from the sale of dank, but the consensus in the statehouse is that the tax rate on cannabis should be higher. “Certain states are exploring higher levels,” said state Sen. Eric Lesser, presumably without the pun being intended. “I think we want to study that, get some input, and see what the appropriate amount would be to fund and support the services we need in our state.” The decision needs to be made in short order as on Dec. 21, residents 21 years old and above will be allowed to legally possess up to an ounce of marijuana and grow up to six plants at home. However, commercial retail sales won’t begin until 2018, so there is some time to decide whether to stick with the standards of a 12-percent tax on the sticky icky, which is less than half the rate in Colorado. If the tax rises above 12 percent, the state will decide where that excess capital goes. “I think we ought to take the money and put it toward health care initiatives and offset some of those costs,” state Rep. Joseph Wagner said. Do this right, fellas and ladies, and there will be tax revenue aplenty for you to spread around……..

- The Monsters are coming back. The Monsters of Folk, that is, an indie-folk rock supergroup comprised of Conor Oberst, M. Ward, My Morning Jacket’s Jim James, and Mike Mogis, and one that hasn’t released an album together since 2009. They’ve worked on projects on their own or with their primary bands since then, but reunited on-stage over the summer during Ward’s opening set for Brian Wilson at the Hollywood Bowl in Los Angeles. James, the group’s lead vocalist and multi-instrumentalist, said in a Reddit post that the hiatus will soon be over, saying that the group have been working on a second album for some time. “We started another Monsters of Folk record a few years ago, for a screenplay that Conor wrote for a Monsters of Folk film,” James said. “We hope both happen someday, cuz we wanna write music for the film, but it’s tough to get a weird film made these days. Maybe someday.” Since the band’s eponymous 2009 debut, Oberst has issued three solo albums, including this year’s ‘Ruminations,’ while James has released two records with My Morning Jacket and a solo project and Ward has also made a solo album, this year’s ‘More Rain.’ James sounds like a man with a plan to be exceptionally busy in the near future, as he said later in the post that he believes MMJ will begin recording new material in the spring. It’s the busy life of a veteran indie rocker, striving to stay relevant and present in the minds of hipsters all over the world…….