Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Why you help mom and dad set up their WiFi, CM Punk cashes in and Bruce Springsteen ages out


- How do you know you’ve aged out as a true rock star? Right about the time you trade out an actual concert tour for a book tour, that’s when and how you can be sure you’ve moved past your expiration date as a legit rocker. Enter rock icon Bruce Springsteen, who has announced a tour to promote his biography “Born to Run.” The Boss will make a series of appearances at bookstores around the United States this fall, following the book’s release on Sept. 27. Fittingly, the tour begins in his home state of New Jersey and includes dates in New York, Philadelphia, Los Angeles and San Francisco. As for why, other than making more money, he decided to write the book, Springsteen explained that he truly wants to give fans an inside look at a life that has included battles with depression. "I had to find the roots of my own troubles and issues," he said, "and the joyful things that have allowed me to put on the kind of shows that we put on. One of the points I'm making in the book is that, whoever you've been and wherever you've been, it never leaves you. I always picture it as a car. All your selves are in it. And a new self can get in, but the old selves can't ever get out. The important thing is, who's got their hands on the wheel at any given moment?" Ah, the deep philosophical musings of a man who’s spent his years prancing around stages across the world in tight jeans, jamming out with his band of musical mischief makers. There is a musical side of the project, as the book will be accompanied by a compilation album, ‘Chapter and Verse’, which includes five new tracks……….


- It was always tough to cut a baguette with a plastic knife, so no real loss in banning plastic cutlery, plates and cups, France. Technically, this is part of France's latest efforts to reduce pollution, but it’s being viewed as an outright attack by those looking to enjoy a sweet picnic in the French countryside. The controversial new ban means diners won't be able to buy plastic vessels for their drinks or plastic utensils to consume their meal. Hell, even those looking for a quick jolt of caffeine in the office won't be able to get a plastic cup in which to enjoy their joe. It’s all part of a plan to be more environmentally friendly and it gives producers just four years to ensure that all disposable dishes sold in France are made of biologically sourced materials and can be composted. It comes on the heels of a ban on plastic bags which went into effect in July, making France the first country to introduce a blanket ban on plastic dishware. The French are still clearly peaking on the high they got from Paris hosting a landmark conference last year on fighting global warming. The country’s Socialist government is striving to push France toward the forefront of environmental progress and these moves have won praise from ecologists and environmental groups, but critics of the new law argue that product bans hurt consumers, and that the French measures violate European Union rules on free movement of goods. Pack2Go Europe, a Brussels-based organization representing European packaging manufacturers, says it will fight for Frenchmen’s right to plaaaaaaaastic, but this is clearly an uphill battle that even the Beastie Boys might have a hard time supporting………


- The Cult of Personality brings with it a boatload of cash, it seems, regardless of how the fight turns out. CM Punk didn’t exactly succeed competition-wise in his conversion from WWE to MMA, but it hardly mattered to the bottom line of the man whose birth name is Phil Brooks. Brooks, a tattooed, straight-edge atheist who quit professional wrestling with a hail of critical comments ripping WWE for its poor treatment of wrestlers in terms of their overall health and well-being suffered a one-sided submission loss to Mickey Gall in his mixed martial arts debut at UFC 203 over the weekend, but still received a disclosed purse of $500,000 for his appearance inside Quicken Loans Arena, which lasted 2:14. Brooks left WWE in early 2014 and signed with the UFC despite a lack of prior experience and was supposed to fight months ago, only to pull out after suffering an injury. He made no grand promises for his bout with Gall, which is good because his foe - and Gall’s paltry 2-0 record coming into the bout pummeled him from the start, took Brooks to the mat and submitted him less than three minutes into the fight. That effort netted a cool half a million dollars for Brooks, made - pun intended - more galling by the fact that his foe received a disclosed purse of $30,000 -- a $15,000 show and $15,000 win. If nothing else, it’s proof that this is a bottom-line business just like any other sport and those who draw the most eyes to the broadcast get the biggest checks. Oh, and that $500,000 total doesn’t include any pay-per-view bonus that Brooks (0-1) likely receives per his contract. Despite the sound ass-kicking he took, Brooks has said he intends to fight again even though the UFC hasn’t confirmed whether they intend to promote a second fight. At least hometown hero, actual winner and UFC heavyweight champion Stipe Miocic (16-2) received slightly more than punk, banking $600,000 for his first-round knockout victory over Alistair Overeem………


- This, ladies and gentlemen, is why you always make time to help mom and dad set up their new wireless router when they ask. If you don’t, then your parents end up making a haphazard attempt to set it up on their own with tech support from someone who barely speaks English and lives half a world away - maybe New Jersey? - and next thing you know, the cops are busting down their door and asking why they’ve been using their Wi-Fi to download thousands of child porn images and hundreds of perverted videos. Such is life right now for a Clementon , New Jersey couple at whose home Camden County authorities executed a search warrant at while seeking the person responsible for acquiring more than 33,000 images and more than 700 videos of a highly illegal nature. However, after speaking with the couple, police determined they weren't involved with the procurement of the child porn. The focus of the investigation shifted next door, where neighbor Louis LaSalle was committing multiple crimes by both bogarting his neighbors’ Internet access and racking up a quantity of kiddie porn that would make Pete Townshend blush. They confiscated LaSalle’s laptop and equipment he used to hijack his neighbors’ wireless access and he was charged with possessing and distributing child porn. Of course, this all could have been avoided had someone told the couple that having a wireless network that wasn’t password-protected is an open invitation for leeches, cheapskates and pervs to take over your system…….

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