Wednesday, September 28, 2016

The Gambler folds 'em, MLB fight club injuries and weaponizing hoes

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- As always, at least there’s a good reason a team battling for a playoff spot in Major League Baseball will be missing one of its key players down the stretch. The Toronto Blue Jays lead the American League wild card race in its final week and could probably use reliever Joaquin Benoit as they try to hold on and make the postseason. He has a 0.38 ERA in 23⅔ innings and is 2-0 with one save since the Jays acquired him from Seattle on July 26 and has quickly become an important piece in the bullpen mix. He’s not going to be filling that role in the near future after suffering a torn left calf when he tripped coming out of the bullpen during one of two benches-clearing incidents against the New York Yankees earlier this week. Yes, the baseball fight, where everyone comes off the bench with no intention of actually fighting or doing anything beyond finding another player to hold onto and pretend to be preventing them from throwing some serious haymakers. This guy was essentially jogging a couple hundred feet to stand around and watch other people pretend they wanted to fight, yet he and Jays second baseman Devon Travis were injured in the process. Benoit is expected to be out for at least two to three weeks, meaning he likely won't pitch again unless the Blue Jays make deep playoff run and he is clearly hurting. “It felt like something hit me,'' he said. "I won't be able to get on the mound anytime soon, so personally this is really disappointing.'' Imagine how disappointing it is for the team that traded for you thinking you could help it possibly win the World Series this year……..


- The rest of the world may have moved on from the Salem Witch Trials Era, but it’s nice to know that some people stubbornly hold onto tradition and refuse to allow their society to move forward. A group of socially stunted people in Peru are keeping one of the ugliest parts of the past behind by burning a woman alive after she was accused of being a witch. The accused witch was burned alive on a bonfire in an indigenous community in a remote part of the country's Amazon rainforest and the reason the world is finding out about it is because the government is prosecuting those responsible, figuring they out to act like civilized members of a modern society. According to prosecutor Hugo Mauricio, members of the Shiringamazu Alto community sentenced 73-year-old Rosa Villar Jarionca to death over claims she made people sick through witchcraft. What’s ironic about the responsible parties getting caught for an act straight out of 1780 is that their actions were brought to light because of a cellphone video shot by a witness and given to prosecutors. The low-quality video appears to show Villar with her hands tied amid a pile of dry logs and branches as a man soaks both she and the logs with gasoline and another man throws a lit match onto the bonfire. Whoever filmed this incident may have ultimately helped to ensure that those who went pyromaniac on this poor woman received punishment, but filming another person’s death by fire and doing nothing about it doesn’t make them much better………


- Insert your requisite pun about knowing when to fold ‘em here, because The Gambler is about to exit stage left. Kenny Rogers has announced that he will retire from music next year, ending a run that began in 1958 and which has encompassed 27 solo studio albums - the most recent being 2013's 'You Can't Make Old Friends.’ Rogers recently revealed that he plans to cease recording and performing at the end of his current tour, which is going to crush the spirit of mosh pit participants around the world who love raging in front of the stage at his rollicking shows. "I've done everything I set out to do," Rogers said. "Every goal I've set, I've done that, and there's a point where you have to say, 'I've had my turn. Let someone else have it,' and that's kind of where I am. It's not that I dislike music; it's just that I can't keep doing this and do what I want to do, which is spend time with my family." Citing family is an odd choice for a guy as old as Rogers, but dude does have 12-year-old twins with his fifth wife, Wanda Miller. Yes, five wives might be an indication that being an active, touring musician is a tough gig to pull off, so Rogers wants to leave music before his kids get too old to hang out with a dad old enough to be their great-grandfather. "I have two older boys and I didn't get to spend this time with my older boys, and I resent it because it's a very special time in a kid's age," he said. "My boys are playing football this year, and we went to watch a game and they were so excited about us being there, and that's the kind of thing that as a parent you want to be part of as much as you can." What is now The Gambler’s farewell tour will conclude April 8 in Danville, Kentucky and at that point, he will have played his final hand………


- Weaponizing hoes is generally not an acceptable practice, but every now and then there is an exception. That exception happened recently in Weld County, Colorado, where a woman who was nearly stabbed to death was saved by a group neighbors armed with garden equipment. The neighbors saw the woman being attacked on a large piece of land with a trailer, campers and tents, an encampment that has become a source of concern in recent months. “We just noticed here in the summer that more and more people were down there and we really didn't know what was going on," neighbor Dan Gibson said. No one is quite sure how the attack began, but the suspect stabbed the woman before her neighbors came rushing to the scene and used their rakes, hoes, shears and shovels to subdue Johnny Cordova until police arrived. The victim was airlifted to Denver Health Medical Center and investigators are still trying to determine the exact nature of the encampment. The land is located between two homes and according to the locals, this is not the first time the campers have caused problems. It’s an odd situation to have in a neighborhood, but then again, so is a person being attacked and in danger of being murdered, only to have their neighbors come charging in looking to till the soil of the ass hat who senselessly attacked her, saving the day and proving that the Home Depot can be just as effective in warding off crime as an NRA membership……..

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