Sunday, September 18, 2016

Cannibal films in Canada, Turkmenistan ready for non-existent visitors and college football band humor


- Move over, “Human Centipede,” there’s a new stomach-turning, sickening cinematic offering making the masses with there was a vomit bag in the seat pouch in front of them. Enter “Raw,” a movie that sounds gross based simply on its title, but is oh, so much worse. It’s a horror movie telling the story of a vegetarian college student who becomes a cannibal and when it debuted at Toronto Film Festival, the images on the screen were so graphic that they caused multiple members of the audience to pass out. As one might expect with something this bizarre and over-the-top, it’s a film from abroad. “Raw” is a French-Belgian film and it netted the prestigious FIPRESCI Prize after it premiered at Cannes Film Festival earlier this year. What’s even more interesting about the reaction in Toronto is that those who saw it probably knew going in that they were in for a lot of gore, yet it still caused so much trauma that paramedics were called to treat two patrons who fainted. Obviously, the point of the movie is to be so extreme that people take notice and in that respect, it’s been a massive success. There has been a proverbial fight at the bat rack to sign director Julia Ducournau and Distributor Focus World has already secured the rights to the film, believing that the film has the potential to be a hit with American audiences. The next screening for “Raw” is at Fantastic Fest in Austin, Texas, where hopefully there will be medical personnel on standby for those who can't handle its rawness…….


- So what if you’re a country largely closed to outsiders, one with such strict visa regulations that miniscule numbers of tourists and businessmen ever visit your remote, isolated Central Asian nation? Does that mean you can’t spend $2.3 billion on a shiny, modern new terminal at your international airport in the shape of a flying falcon? So good for you, Turkmenistan, for cutting the ribbon on a sleek, impressive structure whose roof in profile resembles a bird with spread wings. It’s a quality addition to Ashgabat's vast array of idiosyncratic buildings and even though outsiders might look at the small number of visitors each year and wonder how a terminal designed to process at least 1,600 passengers every hour fits with that reality, the simply fact is that this isolated, energy-rich nation felt like building the structure and so it did exactly that. Three years ago, Guinness World Records recognized Ashgabat as having the greatest density of marble-clad buildings and with more than 540 of them, having a modern airport terminal adds a bit of diversity to the mix. The city’s official buildings are noteworthy for literal or eccentric designs and if Turkmenistan ever felt like relaxing its rules to allow more visitors, perhaps there would be greater appreciation for structures such as the state publishing house, which in the shape of a book. But props to the Turkmenistani government for saying, “F*ck it, we’re building it whether we need it or not,” and pouring ten figures into building something it could probably have done without…….


- Oh boy, some quality college marching band humor. There are certain bands in college sports that think their halftime set is a forum for them to make a political, social or comedic statement rather than cranking out a rousing renditions of “Carry On My Wayward Son” or Rihanna’s latest artificial pop creation, bands like Stanford or, it seems Rice. Hosting No. 21 Baylor, which has been rocked by a series of sexual assault and misconduct allegations against its football team in recent months and by the lack of institutional control and proper response byu the coaching staff and school administration, the Rice band went full-on satire by forming a "IX" on the field during its halftime show, referencing Title IX, an act that is designed to provide fair opportunity and protection for women in college athletics. "There are nine judges on the Supreme Court or is it?" stadium’s public address announced said before the band's IX formation. Ah, what a knee-slapper,  Marching Owl Band. Several sexual assault victims have filed Title IX lawsuits against Baylor, accusing the school of negligence in its handling of sexual assault claims, and those victims undoubtedly loved the jokes made regarding their situations. The band also formed a star in apparent reference to Baylor's former president, Kenneth Starr, who was forced out in the wake of the scandal, and followed that formation with its take on the song "Hit The Road, Jack." An angry Baylor fan reportedly confronted the band after the performance, but sadly, no tuba players had their heads run through a snare drum in the confrontation……..


- No one likes the a-hole who decides that the water restrictions in their drought-plagued town aren't for them and gives a giant middle finger to their neighbors and powers that be by watering early, often and in excess. But what’s a populace to do when the party abusing water restrictions is the same one tasked with enforcing the laws? That’s a question for the people of Los Angeles after learning that the Los Angeles Department of Water and Power is watering the artificial grass it recently installed outside some of its buildings. Yes, they’re watering fake grass, which seems to defeat the purpose of installing drought-tolerant plants and fake grass at substations. “We stopped watering the grass to do our part to save water,” a sign at the South L.A. substation reads. There seems to be a mixed message when California is in its fifth consecutive year of severe drought and yet, the DWP is using sprinklers to soak its fake grass for minutes at a time. Some residents have noticed the watering and are upset that they’re expected to reduce their own water usage - even as the department cracks down on heavy water users with citations. There are reports of sprinklers running for as long as six minutes to hydrate the fake grass outside the South L.A. substation, as well as sprinklers watering an area without real or fake grass. “No customer of the Department shall use water in a manner that causes or allows excess or continuous water flow or runoff onto an adjoining sidewalk, driveway, street, gutter or ditch,” a city ordinance states. Yes, but the department isn't a customer of itself, and the DWP has a wholly acceptable explanation for its action. “We’re rinsing the grass to make it more sanitary,” said Richard Harasick, director of water operations at the DWP. “We’re really just trying to wash out the dog pee.” Oh, you all just go ahead and water on in that case, you hypocritical, bureaucratic ass hats……..

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