Sunday, May 22, 2016

Mayoral Elevator Thunderdome, Olympic sexing is all set up and Ewan McGregor's split "Fargo" personality


- Don’t do it, local Chilean fishermen. Don’t go through with the deal you’ve allegedly agreed to with the Chilean government to end your blockade of the Chiloe archipelago after a toxic algal bloom put your livelihoods at risk. The government claimed late in the week that it had reached a deal with the small-scale fishermen who had blocked access to the island chain, removing the hindrance of  the last remaining group of protesting fishermen, but this is a weak-ass deal and these fishermen can do better than the $1,000 in compensation they will reportedly receive as part of this accord. Sure, the government aid also extends to other non-fishing families who depend on the sea, including algae gatherers and divers, but it’s simply not enough. If you’re going to spend days of your time blocking the island from the mainland to demand more compensation from the government, you cannot cave in the second The Man waves a few measly dollars in your direction. Just remember, brave fishermen, that Chile's worst-ever red tide of toxic algae led the government to declare an emergency zone along the southern coast including Chiloe, and remember how that made you feel. You’re still fighting for your bottom line/the string of islands’ renowned wildlife, stilt houses and historic churches, so do an immediate U-turn on this deal while you still can and up your demands to double or triple what the government is offering. Bleed them for every dollar you can get while you still have a semblance of leverage on this one…….


- Twice the work, twice the pay? The Screen Actors Guild should probably make sure Ewan McGregor gets what he has coming to him now that he’s signed up for a rather unique role in Season 3 of crime drama “Fargo.” Rather than play one character with multiple sides to his personality, McGregor will take on the dual role of twin brothers Emmit and Ray Stussy, who are at odds with one another and will be at the center of the plot for one of FX’s more successful shows.  "Emmit Stussy is the Parking Lot King of Minnesota. A handsome, self-made, real estate mogul and family man, Emmit sees himself as an American success story,” the network’s official synopsis reads. “His slightly younger brother, Ray Stussy, on the other hand is more of a cautionary tale. Balding, pot-bellied, Ray is the kind of guy who peaked in high school. Now a parole officer, Ray has a huge chip on his shoulder about the hand he’s been dealt, and he blames his brother, Emmit, for his misfortunes.” Details about the season are fair sparse at this point, but producer Noah Hawley previously claimed that it would be set in 2010, only a few years after the events of Season 1. The third season is set to begin filming later this year, but the finished product won't hit the air until some time next year, giving McGregor plenty of time to find out how to split his personality and jump between two very different roles at the same time…….


- It has all the makings of a great reality competition show - if only there were weapons involved. Take three ineffective elected officials, jam them into a small, portable space and strand them there for an indefinite period of time. Such was life last week for Pittsburgh Mayor Bill Peduto, Millvale Mayor Vincent Cinski and Leetsdale Mayor Pete Poninsky, who found themselves stuck in the Westin Hotel elevator in downtown Pittsburgh while attending a meeting of the Allegheny League of Municipalities. The three mayors were stuck inside the elevator for about 40 minutes and initially, they wondered how they were going to get out or even amuse themselves while they were stuck because they and a few others stuck in the elevator with them were unable to get cell phone service inside their small metal prison. Fortunately, one of those stranded in the elevator was a hotel employee who was able to summon maintenance crews and first responders using a walkie-talkie. While they waited, the mayors used their non-communicating smartphones to snap selfies and make light of the moment. They were soon rescued and could go back to their grab-assing conference full of breakout sessions, brainstorming sessions, committees and other nonsense that achieves nothing but takes up a lot of time. In their wake were the remains of a great idea: Take three mayors from neighboring cities, trap them together in an elevator, mix in a few crude weapons and a Thunderdome mindset in which three mayors enter and only one leaves and them position a few cameras around the elevator to capture all of the magic/carnage. It’s a winning concept and clearly better that most of the other reality show nonsense currently populating basic cable and network television these days……..


- Not enough. That’s the obvious response upon hearing that Olympic organizers will distribute about 450,000 condoms to athletes during this summer’s Rio de Janeiro Games, even though that number is three times more than for the London Games four years ago. The International Olympic Committee announced the big rubbers contribution to the Athletes' Village for the Games, noting that the number of condoms is higher this time in part because 100,000 female condoms will be available for the first time, along with 350,000 condoms for men. Mix in about 175,000 packets of lubricant that will also be supplied and you have the totality of the IOC’s latest effort to encourage 10,500 athletes and staff to practice safe sex. The fact that the athletes always manage to blow through the entire supply of prophylactics every Olympics is no longer surpising and it’s almost impressive because the rate at which these world-class athletes and sex-havers grab free rubbers from dispensing stations and vending machines is so high. There is a complication in these Olympics because of Brazil's outbreak of the Zika virus, which is carried by mosquitoes, but can also be transmitted sexually. Athletes will have to weigh all the normal risks of sex with a virus that is linked to microcephaly, a condition in which babies are born with undersized brains and skulls, when picking up their free condoms from a clinic in the Athletes’ Village, which opens on July 24 for the Games, which open  on Aug. 5. Between 100,000 to 150,000 condoms had been supplied at Olympics since 2000 in Sydney, but this time around truly embodies the Olympic motto of, “Faster, Higher, Stronger, More Amorous” in a big way……..

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