- Sometimes, a crime can really go without an explanation. For
example, when one human being gnaws on another man’s ear and describes it as
“chewy” before adding a wholly unnecessary, “Yum, yum,” it’s probably better
than the ear-eater doesn’t go on to tell everyone who he decided to channel his
inner Mike Tyson on some random bystander on the street. Garth Anderton, a
British man who admitted to biting off a chunk of a man's ear because of his
own cannibalistic ways, is headed to prison and hopefully taking all memories
of his heinous, creepy deed with him. Anderton was, unfortunately, asked why he
tried to eat another person’s ear and why police found the victim's ear in one
of the pockets of Anderton's track suit. His initial explanation was that the
man had been laughing at him as he walked down the street in the town of
Paignton, which suggested some sort of unhealthy paranoia and/or persecution
complex on Anderton’s part, but there was more to the story and that more is
now coming out. See, when police first encountered this weirdo, he gave a false
name -- Richard Trenton, the name of the so-called "Vampire of Sacramento"
who killed six people in the late-1970s. He later told detectives he'd always
been interested in cannibals and serial killers, even taking sips of his own
blood, and after hearing all of this, a judge sentenced Anderton to six years
behind bars even though he has a history of mental illness, drank alcohol that
evening and failed to take prescription medication before the attack. This just
seems like the kind of guy for whom solitary confinement was made, lest his
cellmate end up getting out of jail early because he’s been killed and cooked
up for a late-night snack………
- Maybe we should all feel good that Hollywood isn't just
whitewashing its movies and giving roles designed for characters of the Asian,
Hispanic, Middle Eastern or African persuasions to white actors who perfectly
capable, race-appropriate actors were interested in the role. No, it seems like
women are getting screwed over too, at least according to “Iron Man 3”
screenwriter Shane Black. Black recently claimed that Marvel forced him and
co-writer Drew Pearce to change a key character's gender in a bid to sell more
action figures, which sounds ridiculous but is clearly something that a
bottom-line, extremely greedy business would do. According to Black, actresses
Rebecca Hall and Stéphanie Szostak, who played Maya Hansen and Brandt in the
movie, had their roles reduced for a very materialistic reason. "All I'll say is this, on the record:
There was an early draft of ‘Iron Man 3’ where we had an inkling of a problem,
which is that we had a female character who was the villain in the draft,”
Black said. “We had finished the script and we were given a no-holds-barred
memo saying that cannot stand and we've changed our minds because, after
consulting, we've decided that toy won't sell as well if it's a female."
In the end, Guy Pearce's character Killian, who is revealed at the end of the
film to be the main villain, was originally supposed to be a lady. Black claims
he fought for his idea, but Marvel rejected it. He did offer a reprieve for
Marvel president Kevin Feige, saying it was actually the studio’s "corporate
division” actually made the decision to set women in Hollywood back a few years
in the name of a few more dollars in toy sales……..
- Even if an unidentified driver who went full-on Billy Joel
on a house in Dayton, Ohio to start the week is telling the truth, she’s still
in the wrong. This woman channeled her inner Piano Man when she took her car
from the road into a house in the 2300 block of Germantown Street, near Iola
Street, an accident for which she will be cited even though she tried her best
to spin her tale in a way that made her seem kind, noble and not the least bit
reckless the way Joel was a few years ago when he got liquored up and drove his
car through someone’s living room. According to this wayward Ohio driver, she
was driving east on Germantown Street when a squirrel ran into the road in
front of and she swerved to miss it, striking a vacant home instead. It’s
actually a wholly believable store, but that doesn’t make it any less
ridiculous. Even if a dozen squirrels ran out in front of her car, the correct
response is not to swerve to miss them. No, the right response is to keep on
driving as if the road is clear as can be because THEY’RE FREAKING GLORIFIED
RATS WITH BUSHY TAILS AND NOT WORTH A SECOND OF YOUR THOUGHT NECESSARY TO
SWERVE AND AVOID THEM. Simply put, oversized rats with fluffy tails are not on
par with deer, dogs and human beings when it comes to their swerve-worthiness
and therefore, even though no one was hurt in the accident, it’s on point that
this idiot of a driver will be cited in the accident. If you don’t know any
better than to keep on trucking and flatten that damn squirrel, then you really
don’t need to be behind the wheel………
- There are a few topics on which advice from Bar-roid Bonds
should not only be welcomed, but valued. How to be a pompous a-hole who
elevates himself above his teammates and creates his own mini-compound in the
corner of the locker room to make sure he’s not mingling with the commoners,
how to fuel your career with steroids and not get caught….oh, and hitting,
because Bonds was always damn good at that. Now the hitting coach for the Miami
Marlins, Bonds isn't limiting himself to helping the team now paying him for
his services and has advice for reigning National League MVP when it comes to
how to handle the many intentional walks being sent his way by opposing teams. After
the Chicago Cubs walked Harper 15 times during a four-game series earlier this
month, including four times intentionally, and swept the series, other teams
have followed suit and cashed in on Ryan Zimmerman's struggles batting behind
Harper. Bonds recalled advice his father gave him about simply being too good
for opposing teams to pitch to and he wants Harper to react to the deliberate
free passes as he once did. "He's going to need to learn to steal bases
and get to second base and make his teammates' job easier," Bonds said.
"My kids used to tell me, `Daddy, I'm sorry they walk you all the time. I
said, `Yeah, but my job's now to steal.'” Bonds led baseball in intentional
walks 12 times and tops the all-time list with 688, but he also stole 514 bases
during his 22-year major league career. Harper has a mere 43, but Bonds would
like to see him start adding to that total and putting himself in scoring
position if teams are going to give him a free base. Of course, none of that is
going to matter if whoever the Nats slot behind their MVP in the lineup can't
come up with a hit every now and then, but it’s nice to see Bar-roid looking to
help someone other than himself and by means other than injecting or ingesting
(allegedly) illegal substances into his body………..
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