Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Bengals knuckleheads + minor league soccer, the Philippines get a dictator and Shakespeare in court


- Big names continue to commit to producing content for various video streaming services and the latest might be a very clichéd, tired reality show concept, but it has the name of Sylvester Stallone attached to it.  Stallone will produce a new gladiator-style competition TV series for Netflix. The show, “Ultimate Beastmaster,” will pit competitors from six different countries against one another on a demanding obstacle course known as “The Beast.” Think of it as mixing “American Ninja Warrior” with a Warrior Dash event and a dash of United Nations, as the series will be broadcast in six countries, with local languages, contestants and hosts from each nation. The United States, Brazil, South Korea, Mexico, Germany and Japan will all take part and with that international appeal, Netflix has ordered 10 hour-long episodes, each featuring 12 competitors battling to be crowned the “Beastmaster.” After nine episodes, the individual winners will then compete against each other in the final episode of the show to become the Ultimate Beastmaster. “The invitation to partner with Netflix and mega-producer Dave Broome on this revolutionary concept was an opportunity I couldn’t resist,” Stallone said - i.e. they’re paying me a sh*t-ton of money to do this. “The world will watch in awe as amazing competitors from around the globe overcome grueling physical challenges — and in the process become champions and heroes. The course is unequaled in its daring creation and I am excited to be a part of it.” There’s no question a huge stack of cash will draw in many an A-lister and Stallone has carved out a niche as an action hero over the years, but that doesn’t mean him overseeing a glorified obstacle course race is going to give Netflix its next bit hit……. 


- Far too rarely these days does an attorney try to use a centuries-dead playwright to get his client off on a murder charge. An attorney in Maine is trying to break that sad trend, but so far his strategy hasn’t worked. Defense attorney Stephen Smith tried to argue that his client, Justin Pillsbury, should get a new trial after being convicted of killing his girlfriend simply because a prosecutor (allegedly) affected the verdict by referencing Shakespeare's "Othello" in his opening statement. Smith tried to argue that in using the "green-eyed monster" line, prosecutor Donald Macomber invoked a racist connotation. In “Othello,” the titular character is commonly portrayed as a black Moor and since Pillsbury is black, the jurors were therefore unfairly and irrevocably biased against the defendant. Of course, dropping a vague hint about Iago telling Othello that jealousy is "the green-eyed monster which doth mock the meat it feeds on” only works if any of the jurors have a freaking clue where that line comes from and how its context could relate to the trial and since juries are comprised of 12 people not smart enough to find a way to get out of jury duty, the odds of that happening here were low. Justice Michaela Murphy decided the Shakespeare reference was only "on the line" of prosecutorial misconduct and Macomber says he was referring to jealousy, not race.  The judge denied Smith’s appeal, meaning this legal eagle must either take his case to the next level of the legal system or decide to stop protesting so much……….


- Nice try, soccer. You’re trying to matter here in the United States and in your endless, futile quest for relevance, you’re trying to ride the coattails of very real, burning hatred from the sport that is king in America. This is taking place in Cincinnati, where upstart soccer team FC Cincinnati is trying to get people to care about its fourth-rate United Soccer League and specifically, its upcoming match against the Pittsburgh Riverhounds at the University of Cincinnati's Nippert Stadium. Ordinarily, no one outside the immediate families of the players and coaches would have any idea this game was even happening, which is why FC Cincinnati has recruited a pair of bonafide idiots with a strong disdain for all things Pittsbugh. Vontaze Burfict and Adam Jones were the anti-heroes of the Cincinnati Bengals’ January wild-card playoff game loss to the Pittsburgh Steelers courtesy of multiple last-minute personal foul penalties that allowed the Steelers to move down the field for a game-winning field goal. Burfict tried to decapitate Steelers receiver Antonio Brown with a despicable illegal hit and now, he and Jones are trying to lure soccer fans to the stadium to see a pair of irrelevant teams do battle. Jones, Burfict, defensive tackle Domata Peko and several teammates will serve as honorary captains for FC Cincinnati, which started play in Cincinnati about a month ago. "Cincinnati and Pittsburgh is probably one of the nastiest rivalries in football," Bengals defensive tackle Domata Peko said. “Whenever we play Pittsburgh, everyone wants us to beat them. That's how I feel when it comes to soccer. Hopefully we can get this big win." Good use of “we,” D-Money, but no one is buying that you and the fellas give a damn about minor league soccer………


- Beware of the man who admits that he is a dictator in any sense of the word, Philippines. Even if the loose cannon you just elected to be your president says he will only be a "dictator" against evil and promises to step down in six months if he fails to fulfill his promise to stamp out corruption, you can't be foolish enough to trust a word he says. "I will be strict. I will be a dictator, no doubt it. But only against forces of evil -- criminality, drugs and corruption in government," Duterte said in a speech deliver in his hometown of Davao City in the southern Philippines, where he is the mayor. "My message to all government employees -- the police, the military, everyone, including Cabinet secretaries -- stop. You just stop (corruption)." Oh, if only it were that simple. A man who just clinched the presidency of the Philippines probably wants to keep the word dictator out of his mouth despite its potential for dramatic effect. Even Duterte seemed to realize he’d gone several steps too far and the next day, he’s dialed the rhetoric way down. "If I get to live to the day (of) my oath of office, I don't have other desires than to serve the interests of the people of the Philippines. Nothing follows," he said, promising to focus on improving education, health and agriculture. He mixed in a well-publicized scene in which he was filmed and photographed sobbing over his parents' grave and with that, he put a cap on an election in which 40 million of the nation's 54 million registered voters endured the hottest day of the year so far to vote, giving him 38 percent of the votes to carry him to power……..

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