Thursday, May 12, 2016

Home runs for beer, D.C. Metro threats and drama and calling out Nigerian corruption


- When your country is the fictional homeland of the guy trying to scam millions of people out of $5,000 as an “investment” to help him unlock his massive inheritance he will then share with them, it’s kind of preposterous to try to act like you’re offended when someone calls you corrupt…no names mentioned, Nigeria. Yes, that Nigerian price is still waiting for your reply to his email asking you to wire him your entire life savings, but Nigerian President Muhammadu Buhari apparently isn't waiting on an apology after British Prime Minister David Cameron called his country one of the world's most corrupt nations. Cameron was the latest public figure to fall victim to a live microphone at an reception ahead of an international anti-corruption summit he’s hosting in London this week and the reckless-tongued PM was caught by a television microphone saying "leaders of some fantastically corrupt countries" were coming, referring to "Nigeria and Afghanistan — possibly two of the most corrupt countries in the world." That could be a problem at the summit, where Buhari is one of many world leaders coming together to combat a problem that few would deny is major in his country. Yet he’s not demanding a verbal apology from Cameron. "I am not going to demand any apology from anybody,” Buhari said. "I need something tangible" rather than an apology. According to the (allegedly) corrupt leader, he is demanding "return of assets" held in British banks, which is a rather vague demand and one that’s going to be tough to procure. Looks like these two men won't be snapping any selfies to post on Instagram this weekend……….


- Now that he’s apologized to a TV producer he sucker-punched and settled a $150,000 racial discrimination and injury, lawsuit, it’s onward and upward for former “Top Gear” host Jeremy Clarkson. Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May's upcoming Amazon Prime car show has lurched forward in recent months even as their old show is revived with Matt LeBlanc and Eddie Jordan as its primary hosts and now, the trio’s Prime show has a name. “The Grand Tour” sounds like quite an idea and producer-assaulter Clarkson explained its origins. "Thing is - We’ll be travelling the world hosting each episode in a different country, from a giant tent. It’s a sort of 'grand tour', if you like,” Clarkson said. “So we’ve decided to call it The Grand Tour.” Considering that Clarkson’s brawl was the reason this dynamic trio was fired from their last show, it’s nice that they’re willing to work together again. "We are like our pioneering and prospecting forebears, sallying forth into a new frontier of broadcasting, and making our home there,” Hammond said. Their naming options were a bit limited, as Clarkson, Hammond and May were reportedly forbidden from using the word ‘Gear’ in the title of the new show by the BBC. Having their old show duel with their new one should be an invigorating challenge for these three and the show will debut on Amazon this fall. Streaming services have been enjoying quite a run of late, so this is another bit of good news for the likes of Amazon, Netflix and their growing list of rivals………


- D.C. gridlock may be imminent and it has nothing to do with the Beltway - at least not right now. Recently the subject of even more intense debate and snarky commentary than normal, the embattled Washington Metro subway system could be shut down completely if officials don’t follow the safety measures ordered by the Transportation Department, Transportation Secretary Anthony Foxx threatened. "We have the ability to withhold (federal) funds from Metro. We have the ability to shut Metro down, and we're not afraid to use the authority we have," Foxx said. "This is serious business." You know dude means business because his last name has two x’s at the end and those are the kinds of people you do NOT f*ck with. According to Fo-double-X, officials haven’t identified the root cause of the incidents involving the electrical arcing, smoke and fire, and have no plan for how to fix the problem. It’s a reassuring reminder that those in power often don’t have a clue, although DOT officials believe there might be too much electrical power flowing through the subway system. A video recorded at the Federal Center Southwest station shows a bright flash of electrical arcing followed by billowing smoke in the same place where moments before a train had passed through. Foxx described the video as “scary” and in its wake, the Federal Transit Administration issued a slew of safety directives over the weekend in response to the latest incident. One idea is to reduce the number of railcars per train from eight to six, but that would lead to overcrowding problems, especially during rush hour. Ah, the fascinating drama of governmental ineptitude……….


- When former major leaguers leave the United States to play abroad, it’s often as if they fall off the baseball map. They end up in Mexico, Venezuela, Japan or some other far-flung corner of the globe, toiling in a land where they don’t speak the language and make a fraction of what they did in the majors. But that doesn’t mean there aren't benefits and it doesn’t mean the world should forget about them because sometimes, those ex-MLBers rise up, mash …. and earn themselves a $10,000 bonus check and a year’s worth of free beer. Such is the fortunate situation of Brandon Laird, last seen balling in MLB with the New York Yankees in 2011 and the Houston Astros in 2012 and 2013. These days, the former major leaguer plays for the Hokkaido Nippon Ham Fighters in Japan and while baseball is huge in Japan and players can make a decent salary there, it’s what Laird did this week that is going to make his life much better - and raise its blood-alcohol content. Laird blasted a home run off a Kirin Beer sign beyond the outfield wall in the Tokyo Dome and doing so earned him a year's supply of beer and $10,000. The free suds are the benefit waiting for any player who can go yard to deep left center and dent the display, but there are actually multiple signs offering potential prizes of various shapes, sizes and worth to those who hit them with a big fly. "Definitely not drink it," Laird said, when asked what he'd do with his sudsy prize. "Maybe give some to the batting practice pitchers or whoever wants it." Much like a baseball Andy Dufresne, sharing his hard-won beer with his fictional fellow inmates after tarring the roof of the license plate factory at the prison in “The Shawshank Redemption,” Laird could score some big points with that sort of gift……….

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