Saturday, March 05, 2016

The 'Suicide Squad' sequel, people who shouldn't procreate and Moldovan election hijinks


- Its standards may be low, but Moldova is still taking a step forward in terms of its presidential election process. The former Soviet republic isn't known for fairness or transparency in its various governmental processes, but this week provided a glimmer of hope as Moldova's constitutional court ruled that the country's president will be elected by direct vote for the first time in the country’s 25-year history. The surprising ruling came in response to a request by an opposition party and while there’s no way to know what the fallout will be, most observers expect that it will do much to defuse social unrest reflected in months of protests over the more than $1 billion that went missing from three banks prior to 2014 parliamentary elections. Granted, having some $1.5 billion go missing isn't fixed just by tossing dissidents a bone by letting them (theoretically) elect their next leader, but it’s a nice gesture and a quasi-response to protesters who have demanded early elections. Until now, the country’s parliament has elected the president for this nation of 4 million located between Romania and Ukraine. Sadly for parliament, the mandate of current President Nicolae Timofti expires this month. The (probably rigged) presidential elections will be held later this year and the only standards in place are that presidential candidates must be at least 40 and have lived in Moldova for the past 10 years. Yes, just move to a poor, troubled Eastern European nation and live there for a decade and you too could be elected its next great leader………


- It’s a really bad sign if spring training isn't even halfway done and we’re already scraping the absolute bottom of the barrel when it comes to topics to talk about. Having blown through Yoenis Cespedes’ outlandish string of luxury cars and county fair livestock purchases, the world has now moved on to unearthing the truth about Hank. Hank, of course, is the Milwaukee Brewers' unofficial mascot. He’s a bichon frise mix who was found as a malnourished stray at the Brewers' spring training site two years ago and embraced by the team, but Hank’s identity is now in question. Social media trolls have questioned whether the original Hank was swapped for another dog of the same breed after side-by-side comparisons on blogs and on various platforms called into question whether the current dog was indeed the original. For some inexplicable reason, the team felt the issue was important enough to hold a news conference to assure the media and fans that it was indeed the same dog. To the haters who noted that Hank's appearance has changed in the past two years to a coat that is now a healthy, white color, Brewers chief operating officer Rick Schlesinger produced a notarized letter signed by veterinarian William S. Rice stating that the Lakeside Animal Hospital in Milwaukee confirmed Hank’s identity via a microchip. Hank was taken to the animal hospital back in April 2014 and had both the microchip implanted and dental records taken when he was neutered. Those dental records matched the teeth of the dog presented as Hank, so case closed, right? "We couldn't ignore the dissimilarities, and while we all had a good laugh at the theory, we wanted to take the steps to reassure everyone through absolute proof that there was no Hank double," Schlesinger said. Glad we resolved that crucial issue………


-   Oh, how much better a place the world would be if those who simply aren't cut out to be parents were all smart enough to realize that simple fact. Jacksonville, Florida resident and soon-to-be cell block D resident Lonna Lauramore Barton either should have taken a pass on procreating or immediately explored the wonders of adoption for her child as soon as the kid was born because if she had, the child would probably still be alive and Barton would possibly not be set to spend the next five years of her life in prison. Instead, a  21-month-old girl is dead, Barton just pleaded guilty to child neglect and lying to police and her ex-boyfriend, as much of a tool as he might be, has to be at least remotely aware of what a worthless piece of crap he is. It all started when young Lonzie Barton was reported missing last summer and after months of fruitless searching, Barton's ex-boyfriend William Ruben Ebron Jr. led investigators to her remains in January. But because Lonzie's remains were too badly decomposed to determine a cause of death, police had to figure out how she died and that’s where the story went from awful and sickening to rage-inducing. Ebron told the cops that the child drowned while being left alone in a bathtub while he and Lonna Barton - wait for it - got after it in the bedroom. Yes, these ass clowns put a baby in a bathtub and then had so little self-control or awareness that they decided to sex it up and leave the child alone to fend for itself in the water. Ebron pleaded guilty to aggravated manslaughter and is expected to be sentenced to 20 years in prison, but no amount of jail time is going to undo what these two ghouls have done. Oh, and these revelations came only after Lonna Barton pleaded guilty and agreed to testify against Ebron, so they’re also snitches in addition to being soulless pieces of garbage………


- There is nothing surer than a sequel or spin-off or prequel for a superhero movie, hero team-up movie or comic-book-adapted movie right now. If you have a superhero to anchor your franchise or a bunch of comic book characters to draw in fanboys, then a studio will literally print money to pay for whatever you want to do. “Suicide Squad” hasn’t even debuted yet and already its follow-up is in the works, with director David Ayers on board to helm both projects. We now know more about who will be a part of the cast for that sequel, “Bright,” and that cast will include a pair of big names in Will Smith and Joel Edgerton. Screenwriter Max Landis (“American Ultra”) has penned the script and it’s being billed as a “contemporary cop thriller, but with fantastical elements” and “a major twist.” Bringing in heavy hitters like Smith and Edgerton will definitely give the film more cache and the two actors are certainly keeping busy in the meantime. Smith is currently shooting David Frankel’s “Collateral Beauty” with Kate Winslet, Keira Knightley, and Jonah Hill, while Edgerton is reuniting with “Midnight Special” director Jeff Nichols for the true story historical drama, “Mildred Loving.” The presence of other “Suicide Squad” cast members for “Bright” hasn’t been confirmed or ruled out, but if the first film in the series does well this summer, it won't really matter who surrounds Smith and Edgerton in the next one………

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